Serious Anxiety

Same thing happened to me. No need to rush the process or over think it, just enjoy the journey. I think the biggest help for me was living in the moment and taking life day by day

Feel that.

Felt like shit often at 18. Was a CS major but was getting B’s and C’s and knew I couldn’t do it for a career. Spent 1.5 years turning around my GPA, transferring schools, now at a solid IB Group going in to PE in 12 months. This probably won’t help but that feeling doesn’t go away- you just get better at dealing with it the more obstacles you overcome. Btw almost every day in IB is stressful, make sure you’re prepared for that. Maybe a different finance or consulting role would be a better fit.

Just wanted to add my two cents as an incoming summer analyst next year because I literally just went through recruitment a few months ago and know exactly how you are feeling. I remember when Gugg posted their application randomly in December, I totally panicked. I had been prepping for technicals and started to network, but the actual job posting gave me a shit ton of anxiety and the feeling of being behind. It was followed by a series of other job postings by other banks and I was extremely stressed about not doing well during recruiting.

Turns out, I did fine. The most important thing that I used to tell myself to prevent anxiety and feeling left behind compared to my peers is that it is important to understand everyone is at different stages and that is OK. Not everyone is going to be in the same spot with technicals or have networked with the same amount of people at a certain firm, but most of the time that doesn't even matter. Try not to worry about others success and the idea of you failing because everything will fall into place the way it should have. The fact that you are thinking about all of this right now your freshman summer shows that you care and shows that you truly want to succeed. That being said, you will have to put in the work. It is not easy to place at a top firm, but it can clearly be done.

Do your best to only think about what you can control (your networking and interview prep) and forget the rest, and success will find you.

If you have an internship as a rising sophomore you are way ahead of a lot of people that still placed in IB. Congrats on that. Stay consistent and you will be fine

I’ve had lifelong anxiety and have had to make some adjustments to manage it. Here are some tangible tips I use that hopefully will be helpful:

-Reduce caffeine intake and try to wait at least 45 mins after waking up before having coffee (never on an empty stomach)

-Short meditation breaks when possible. Even 5-10 mins on a quick bathroom break can help immensely 

-Some level of activity daily. Go for a short walk if you don’t have time for the gym.

-Gratitude journal: It has really helped my mindset to write down a list of everything I am grateful for when I’m feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Brings me back to earth

-Distance yourself from unhealthy relationships

One last note: If you do ever want to go down the meditation route, just know that it can take many months (in some cases years) to find a meditation that works best for you. All these meds can have terrible side effects as well that are not to be taken lightly. Weaning off is also a battle in and of itself. Just some factors to consider if it gets to this point.

I feel the same way sometimes man. Same background feel free to dm

Do your best one day at a time. You are very well positioned professionally and have a great trajectory. Make sure you still enjoy college (while keeping GPA high) and work hard and you will do great. Everyone has faced stress related to the future but dealing with that is a skill and more practice/experience will teach you to see the next internship/role as an opportunity rather than a risk. I used to get very anxious about school/college while growing up but you put things into perspective and realize that hard work, high quality work, and sociability are rewarded if you invest them consistently. 

Also a FT job in IB will be stressful and demanding so make sure you can roll with the punches. It takes practice and the right mindset but you are in a spot that I would have killed for as a sophomore. Make the most of it and importantly, have fun.

Yes

One alternative perspective. Sometimes this high level existential anxiety is caused by expectations. Or rather, a disconnect between our reality and our expectations. And furthermore, an overwhelming focus on and internalization of the disconnect between our reality and our expectations. The non-target mediocre student at a no name internship who’s constantly comparing himself to the 4.0 Harvard students that’s interning at Moelis will live in a constant state of anxiety. Furthermore any progress or wins he has will be meaningless because once again, compared to his expectations any meaningless achievement is a drop in the bucket.

What helps is to let go of expectations. Expectations are just a fantasy created in your mind. A fiction written by your brain. You know what we call people who live in a different fantasy or fiction world in their brain? We call them fucking insane. So it’s fucking insane for any of us to spend time doing that. Instead, just accept reality for what it is, 100% of the way. This is where I am now. Keep it a clean slate. And from there share a course to your goals. You should STILL aim high, you should STILL put in the work every single day, but just let go of the fictional narratives in your head of how things “should” be. Let go of the expectations; live the actual life that has come your way; do the work that is required of you every single day; live by your values; make progress toward your goals; treat the people in your life well; cherish and use the time you have wisely.

There will be pain along the way, but that’s what makes it a good story. The reason they made a famous movie about Troy with Brad Pitt playing Achilles is because the story is full of twists and turns and tragedy and difficult moments. There’s no fucking movie about Troy if the story is Achilles just walks in and takes the city and throws a party.