Started to date a girl BUT HUGE Problem

So I met this girl on tinder, initially it was casual but it grew into something real over the last 2-3 months. She is great but of course it is still early. The conversation went like this:

She: "So what do your parents do?"
Me: "Mine are in blah, blah blah, how about you?"
Her: "My dad is in blah, blah blah, and my mum actually is an MD at where you work"
Me: "Oh really? What's her name?"
Her: "XYZ"
Me: *I panic "Oh don't think I work with her"

XYZ is my MD. THIS IS NOT A JOKE, one of my MDs. I don't work with her directly often, but she knows who I am. She hasn't told her parents she's dating someone yet, but she seems pretty keen to introduce me. What do I do? I read some joke on this here, but I do need genuine advice, she is a great person but am I risking my career? 

Comments (64)

  • Intern in IB - Gen
Mar 20, 2022 - 6:44pm

What about eating where you shit?

Mar 21, 2022 - 5:30pm
plantpot, what's your opinion? Comment below:

You joke but the bank I was interning at, the CEO (smallish boutique at the time) was sleeping with an intern a couple years ago. The intern went from intern -> VP in 3.5 years, married rich (to a different banker) and retired at like 27 to be a fulltime trophy wife. The CEO eventually stepped down and the bank quietly cut ties with him

Most Helpful
Mar 19, 2022 - 10:34am
anonymous12345, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Be respectful to her daughter and you'll be fine. Don't cheat on her or do anything that's character destroying. Parents understand it doesn't always work out if you guys do break up, just don't be a dick. If you see a real future with this girl, great. If not, don't string it along.

  • Consultant in Consulting
Mar 21, 2022 - 9:03am

And in all seriousness, a sprinkle of nepotism really can't hurt here. If things go well and it becomes serious, potential marriage material, having her mum like you as a person AND like you as an employee is a one-way track to success. Make sure you're both. No one likes the incompetent boyfriend or the ambitious asshole. Impress her on both fronts.

  • Analyst 2 in IB - Cov
Mar 24, 2022 - 1:07am

I generally agree with this, but I would add that you have to carefully consider the type of girl you're dealing with. It's hard to tell until you go through it, but there are some girls out there who just plain do not handle break ups well under any circumstances, which could lead to a bad situation.

Take a hard look at the time you've spent with her for any red flags or any instances in which she has been irrationally unreasonable. This could very easily take a turn for the worse, but again - i generally agree that you should pursue this thing if you like the girl and it's a good situation.

  • Analyst 1 in IB - Gen
Mar 19, 2022 - 11:36am

Welcome to the big leagues, kid

Mar 19, 2022 - 12:35pm
TimesNewMoney, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Honestly if anything it probably softens her mom (your MD)up on you a bit. In my experience, the girlfriend's mom always loves you as long as your respectful and polite and make her daughter happy. Now if it were her dad, then you'd likely be fucked.

Just be super, extra, extra cautious not to piss her off by being a scumbag. I'd also talk to the daughter about it and tell her your angst; guarantee she'll put your mind at ease and be able to broach the subject more gently with her mom than if you let them both figure it out together by happenstance.

  • Analyst 1 in IB - Cov
Mar 19, 2022 - 12:38pm

Real talk though, rumors get around the office. Did you ever brag about any crazy things to your other analysts that might've gotten back to your MD? People gossip, and it might not be a good look if your MD heard stories about you getting into some molly-driven sex romp at Carnival when you were taking PTO.

Mar 19, 2022 - 8:42pm
Canvasblank, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Bonus points if the mom's in the conference room

  • 2
  • Analyst 1 in IB - Cov
Mar 19, 2022 - 9:10pm

Mate you just set yourself for life. Congrats, and fuck you.

  • Investment Analyst in HF - Event
Mar 20, 2022 - 5:18am

 All I have got to say is don't do stupid shit to the girl. If you try to make it long term you will always feel the lesser halve and you will tread carefully because of who her mother is. Her mother as MD gives your GF too much leverage in the relationship.

Mar 20, 2022 - 9:06am
PatrickBateman1, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I wouldn't follow any of the below advices. First thing that ppl will say once the story is known of the floor will be "he's having an easy life just because he's banging xyz's daughter".

Talk to your gf and ask her to wait to introduce you to her parents, keep the story for yourself and move to the Buyside asap. Only bad things can come out of this situation imo

  • 7
Mar 20, 2022 - 2:16pm
burrynft, what's your opinion? Comment below:


  • 1
  • Investment Analyst in HF - Other
Mar 20, 2022 - 9:12am

Was in this situation back in my IB years except genders reversed (dating son whose father was an MD).  Honestly, i just treated him nicely and our relationship was pretty good.   Didn't earn any major brownie points with the MD but ig it did slightly help because it showed I had a personality outside the office and wasn't just faking it for work.

  • Investment Analyst in HF - Other
Mar 20, 2022 - 2:46pm

So what her parents are in the finance industry. For your own sense of self-respect and pride, I WOULD NOT EVER ASK ANY FAVOR OF HER PARENTS...

HELL I DON'T EVEN ASK MY PARENTS OR FAMILY FOR HELP (even though that option has been there, I don't want to come across as someone who got nepotism-ed in). Whenever it's been offered, I feel terrible about taking it up and as if I am trying to take advantage of someone. 

I am surprised that people have the balls or vaginas to do this. Go Do It Yourself. You get more respect that way.   

  • Teller in Non-profit
Mar 21, 2022 - 2:48am

It's all funny but no offense, pussy move on saying you don't work with her mom. Easy enough for her to find out if you work with/under her mom. Need a solid come back on that one.

Mar 21, 2022 - 10:40am
Texas Tea, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Her mom single?

  • 1
Mar 21, 2022 - 3:44pm
IB A2 - Tech MA, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Date the mom too, problem solved

Cheick Diakite

  • 2
Mar 22, 2022 - 12:47am
Illusive Paradigm, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Bro 💀💀. That's tragic. Your best bet is to ask someone at your firm, preferably someone in upper manager that knows her and that you trust, to give you some guidance. As long as there are no weird age difference or other social taboo there shouldn't be any "big" issues IMO. But, ig it depends on how important girl is and if the risk to reward scenario is worth it. Either way, you break her heart she might be telling her mom about you either way.

  • Investment Analyst in HF - Event
Mar 22, 2022 - 6:46am

You are lucky her dad wasn't the MD instead 

Mar 23, 2022 - 7:27am
tom bernard, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Pretty sure this is how to get yourself on the partner track. Absolute W

"They say money can't buy happiness? Look at the fuckin' smile on my face. Ear to ear, baby!" - Boiler Room

Mar 25, 2022 - 12:46am
Konkey-Dong, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Figure out if she is a head case.  Maybe she hunts for young analysts at her Mom's firm because she likes to tourment them?  Anything that wiffs of her being a psycho and avoid her.

Then, can you be an nice guy?  If "yes" to both go for it. But if you are a typical guy and treat her like a sandwich making life support system for a hole then don't date her.  Only nice guys dating solidly normal rational chicks can get away with dating the bosses daughter.

Of course if you plan to leave leave the firm soon then her mental frailty is of no concern to you (may make it spicier and more interesting) and if you are up for a romping good bridge burning episode then party her hard on your way out the door.

Mar 25, 2022 - 1:17pm
Macro19, what's your opinion? Comment below:

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  • Prospect in S&T - Other
Mar 25, 2022 - 2:00pm

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Mar 25, 2022 - 3:00pm
poignant, what's your opinion? Comment below:

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