Stuck in Internal Audit
So I'm a semi-regular who hasn't been around much lately. I'm taking a significant risk bey posting this but thdamn is about to break. I took a job in Internal Audit in December because I had a kid and needed money, so I wasn't in a position to hold out for another job.
I've now been there and I'm in a bad spot. The work I do is unbelievably mind numbing and dull, and it's over-prescribed to the point that I'm not even learning how to do any actual auditing (even that low bar) because my firm "audits" by just mindlessly following the steps laid out in their computer system. I've been getting zero interest passing my resume around for anything except retail financial advisor type jobs and even thats' hit or miss.
I don't know what to do at this point. I'm at the point where I stay up late studying for the CFA less because I'm motivated for the test than because I know that when I close my eyes I'm going to wake up and be back in the office doing more fucking pointless internal audit that doesn't benefit the firm, doesn't benefit me, and just exists to check the boxes for regulators.
I'm on fucking antidepressants just to function and I can't get any momentum whatsoever. So far I've been hiding it successfully at work by putting on a happy face, and randomly dissappearing the gym to punch on the punching bags bare-knuckle until my knuckles start bleeding.
This isn't sustainable. I'm desperate for ANYTHING that isn't Internal Audit, or as much of a dead end as this appears to be.
What options do I have? I know what's next is a significant risk but I'm just desperate for any ideas but I'm probably only a matter of weeks away from dropping my resignation and just taking a trade internship instead.
Highly sanitzed resume attached for reference. A few minor details may or may not be falsified to hide who I am.
EDUCATION
Grad School: MBA From a top 20 ranked school.
Undergrad: Complete non-target.
WORK:::
Origination at a Stratup
Fall 2017
• Executed business growth strategy that resulted in establishing partnerships with industry and PE executives actively engaged in origination of new type of Asset Backed Security
BB Bank
Associate Auditor
Greater New York City Area
Dec 2017 – Present
Midwestern Boutique
Investment Banking Fall Intern
Spring 2017
• Live M&A deal experience in common MidWestern Industries + Energy Services
Origination at a Stratup
Fall 2017
• Executed business growth strategy that resulted in establishing partnerships with industry and PE executives actively engaged in origination of new type of Asset Backed Security
Summer Consultant
Europe Summer 1st year MBA
• Did implementation /Project Management for a new financial reporting system at a global top 10 bank
Summer Credit Analyst
-The Midwest, Summer 1st year MBA
* Did Credit analysis for a bunch of companies in the FIG space and built out a new analysis tool
*Five years military
• *Items here reflect direct project, team leadership, and combat awards.
You probably won't like my answer, but it's based on hard personal experience.
I was in the exact same boat as you, except I managed to get out, but I now realise the grass wasn't actually greener on the other side.
Internal Audit is a fantastic place to:
Earn good money. It's so high in demand that people can jump ship every two years for a 20% raise each time. Firms are so desperate not to lose you that you can often get a counter offer and stay at your current firm and avoid the dent on your CV from frequent job hopping. I know of people doing pure audit execution getting paid £120K base I also know of people who have jumped to PE doing internal audit and now get 100% bonuses in a non revenue generating function
Yes it's boring, but you get a good amount of free time to do whatever else you fancy. This is something you won't realise the value of until it's gone.
A mix of points 1 and 2 above, because you have so much free time, you can actually profit from this due to being able to live further from the office and not have to pay ludicrous city-centre rents, and you don't suffer the cost of living a last minute lifestyle (you can book holidays in advance, etc.)
Never get fired. Seriously, I've worked with people who were habitually off sick, didn't complete audits after over 1.5 years, and were generally as dumb as they come. It's so easy to be the shining star of the department, although you do need to play the politics.
Don't believe the lies, there ARE exit options:
Move to a firm in a different industry, where Internal Audit is a respected function and acts as a training ground for future management
Move to a different area of financial services, where there is a lot less of this cultural aspect of 'BO means you're a dumbass'. Don't quote me on this, but I've heard that Asset Management is good for this. People who have proven their worth (and gotten the CFA) have often moved into the business side.
Use your free time and bonuses to invest and run your own small-scale VC / crowdfunding investments if you're that way inclined. Better to play with a little gambling money than to risk your entire livelihood chasing a career dream that may or may not happen.
Remember that Internal Audit is a safe career
I'm guessing that you don't have a BOMAD (bank of mum and dad), which is why you took the job? In which case, the smartest thing you can do is to increase the statistically 'expected value' of your career, not turn your career into a roulette wheel where you have a 2% chance of striking it big, and a 98% chance of failing. In Internal Audit you have a 90% chance of being comfortable (but bored) for the rest of your life.
Just find some fun outside of work. Or if it's that bad at work, try to rotate the areas you audit (auditing the ops functions, finance and compliance is enough to drive anyone insane)
Echo what was said above. Work is well, work. It's never going to be models/bottle on the buyside with a google of strippers lined up like groupies as you exit your office.
Find something to bring you enjoyment on the outside of the office. Exercise hard. Train for a marathon. Take the kid to a waterpark. Etc.
Like all things in life, the cream will rise to the top. Be stellar at what you do and you'll be noticed and rewarded 9 times out of 10. I found that the harder I worked, even in sht jobs, the luckier I got when promotions presented themselves.
Bumping because that advice simply isn't acceptable to me.
It's not like "I'm bored".
It's more like that I hate it so much on a day to day basis if I knew for certain that I would spend the rest of life doing this, I would shoot myself in the back of the head and get it over with.
That's not an exagerration, and I've been starting to experience suicidal thoughts and violent outbursts.
I also FULLY disagree with the assessment that it's a "safe career". It's a function populated with incomptetent bean counters (Several coworkers literally do not know what the phrase "Beta" means), and it's rapidly becoming automated. You don't need a half dozen auditors to perform "testing" that consists of checking whether a hundred examples of the same form matches client information: that can easily done with an algorithm.
In fact the firm just did announce that they will be rolling out automated "testing" shortly.
It isn't safe. It's a guaranteed ticket to be pushed out of a job with zero practical skills and fully institutionalized into an archaic bureaucracy that's useless outside of its own bubble.
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