Tips for future high-schooler

Learn how to shotgun under five seconds.

This stopped being funny around the 3rd time

If you aren't walking through a DCF by the age of 7 then IB isn't for you. Sons and daughters of MDS were born hardos, in the womb they were calculating the exit opps from birth because they plan ahead and execute like a german robot but you think because you searched up highest paying post undergrad jobs you believe you are worth even a chance to in IB ? You are either born a hardo or made into one and guess what you are neither due to your desire to get your first kiss on a field trip and watch Lamelo Ball's highlights with your boys instead of setting up a business club/ lawn mowing empire.

So here is what you can do ;

NETWORK HARD - You are going to set up a linked in profile with all the irrelevant accomplishments like sits in the front of the class, enjoys Joe Rogan podcasts, most likely to date a North Korean etc etc and then message every single banker from Texas to NYC regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation. You bang your chest like a deranged ape and message them to leave an imprint on their mind. At first they will think of you as a little cocky fucker but eventually they will recognize how much they are like you and remind them of their desire to crush the SAT/ACT while others were worrying about prom night and average people shit.

GO HARD, KILL YOUR ENEMIES - Guess what , everyone on this website would probably sell their soul and throw their best friend off a bridge if it meant getting into KKR so to be ahead of the curve you got to stop being a beta bitch, read the prince and channel your intentions to world domination. Dominate Kahoot, become a teachers pet even if it means fucking the ugly recently divorced math teacher and don't ever think of anyone other than competition for the Goldman Sachs TMT internship.

NO PORN JUST FINANCE - What makes you hard? Is it the though of banging a hot chick, well then your life will be mediocre and a disgrace to your ancestors. Get hard by looking at financial statements, projected gdp growth , the % change in a stock and if you have a preference towards rough shit then look up the 2008 crisis to satisfy your kink. It doesn't matter whether you want a gf or bf , you need to be able to calculate adjusted ebitda in order to gauge whether she/ he is going be worth it or another we work mess.

YOU WANT TO BE A HARDO , THIS IS WHAT IT TAKES

All you need to do is to get into a Target School.

Yea just focus on getting into a good target school

id look into selling cocaine in midtown to start the networking process with bankers

Stop trying to be funny. At this point, the next joke will be waiting until college to try to get into IB

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Just get good grades so you can get a high GPA and sports and clubs whatever makes you look like a great candidate for a target school

man oh man, about to enter high school, y'all growin up fast these days. these are the only things you need to do in order to have a successful high school experience

1. don't drive drunk. use uber, a DUI or worse will ruin the rest of your life at this stage
2. don't knock up a girl
3. don't go to jail
4. get good grades & extracurriculars to get into a good college
5. have fun, life is short. not saying not to network, but you don't need to trade fun for work all the time, enjoy this time

Get into a target school and figure out how to pay for it. The rest will come.

Highschoolers can do a ton of things to be honest. Do economic research with professors, compete in investment competitions, learn programming, start a business, and do finance internships over the summer.

the most important thing...play 2 different team sports each year...even if you aren't good enough for varsity...JV is just fine. Team sports build social skills...and get you physically active. Also helps you meet new people.

Football, Soccer, Track..Basketball, Hockey, Wrestling, Baseball, Lacrosse...Tennis is great too. Whatever you can manage...just get on the team and give it your all...this will also help prevent you from getting bored.

If you weren’t able to make it into a top tier elementary school, then you’re fucked already. Focus your efforts and aspirations to a different industry.