What do investment bankers actually do?

Well personally I don't do shit.

I'd say IB until you're a vp is pretty much copy/paste

Mostly figuring out how to use vlookup and indexmatch or aligning objects on a powerpoint slide.

What do I do at work? I:

• Make financial models
• Articulate the needs of our customers
• Sync up with my team
• Turn comments
• Unfuck powerpoints my associate made
• Respect women
• Bring a good work ethic to the office each day
• Analyze market data
• Train interns and new members
• Explore leads and develop new workstreams

Idk so far putting together slides after slides and attend calls that run for 100 years

Lets say someone wanted to actually understand what the job entails, what would you say? 

Use search bar

Execute corporate transactions on behalf of clients..

Lots of moving parts in corporate transactions including making marketing materials, managing data rooms, organising auction / roadshow processes, negotiating terms and pricing, managing stakeholders like lawyers / due dil specialists, advising clients on best practices etc.

There’s of course also the work that goes into pitching for new work. 

Basically bankers are agents who a) win client mandates and b) represent those clients throughout a pretty lengthy / involved process. 

Junior bankers do most of the heavy lifting on docs / operational tasks, mid-level bankers project manage processes and allocate work to junior bankers and senior bankers win work and manage client relationships. 

After all is said and done and the transactions close - the firm charges a fee on the value of the transaction. Because banks run pretty lean but generate large revenues, they can afford to pay their core workers (bankers) more than in other industries with larger overheads. Senior bankers especially get paid based on revenue they bring in so the pay averages 7 figs for generating 8-9+ figs in revenue. 

Sub Md level not much - shuffle piles of paper that don’t really help anyone make money. Most useful bit is prob coordinating a process bc client Cbf doing it. At Md level, pamper to client so they pay for these papers.

There are so many resources on the internet and this site answering this question. You couldn't google it?

For sell-side process, preparing CIM, teaser, financial model, process letter, management & board presentation, coordinating CDD/FDD/LDD, dealing with ad-hoc requests, managing VDR/Q&A, not much involvement in SPA as an analyst. Buyside will involve us reviewing the CIM and financial model and advising client on valuation to bid, after shortlisted, perform confirmatory DD to formalise offer. If not on live deal, work might involve responding to RFPs, preparing random discussion materials showing ideas, potential targets, etc.