You know you pulled an all nighter when...
... you press "print" and while the printer spools up next to you, you think to yourself, "who the fuck is printing from my printer?" FML.
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Career Resources
When your trash can is filled to the top with Red Bull cans and coffee cups at 7 AM.
When your clothes look like you just got pulled out of the bushes with your pants down by the Federales outside an Acapulco night club (El Abrije) and you spent a night in jail next to Oscar
When you stayed up all night.
When your brain has been replaced by Slushy made of lava.
"Cowards die a thousand deaths, but the brave only one," Bill Shakespeare
When you fall asleep while taking a shit in the company bathroom.
Haha! Just happened to me yesterday!
when the guy who's always in early says, "wow, you're in early" and you punch him in the face
You turn in your taxi receipts and are confused since you have two receipts from the same day.
Its usually the peanut brained admins that get confused, and they never seem to figure it out even after it happens over and over.
Let me add to that... when you fall asleep while taking a shit, wake up in a panic, leap off the toilet only to realize your entire leg is completely fucking numb, and fall to the ground with your pants at your ankles.... your face pressed against the cold tile floor, you wonder if its possible for you to not get up and stay asleep for another 2 hours without anyone finding you.
When there are lines of coke in the bathroom.
When you are in casuals on a Monday morning
When you throw your chair across empty office at 4AM because your model is not working. (alumni banker's story)
When your group tells you to go home and take a nap...at 9am.
when you walk over to the female analyst working in the cubicle next to you, grab her by the hair, bend her over her desk and perform a tony danza.
..and then you wake up and realize it was just a Patrick Bateman type dream.I'm making it up as I go along.
It's rare to hear a tony danza sex move reference, brilliant.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
That sounds so different from any story I have ever heard. Dragons. I love it.
When your eyes are so red that you look like you smoked pot all day with Bob Marley himself.
Pretty sure all my friends outside work think I've become a huge pot head, since my eyes are literally red all the time from lack of sleep and staring at a computer.
When you lose one of your balls... (true and sad story - not with me, luckily)
Visine works well, I use now the "Green one" painful but works better than the regular one.
when...your pants smell like ass and your shirts smell like sweaty armpits
Didn't this guy swear off posting on this website?
You go in to work one day and don't leave until the next day
Either you sling crack rock or you got a wicked jump shot
when your white aldo shoes become a shade of gray from all the dust.
who the hell wears WHITE shoes to work?
Send an intern down to Trenton for some truck stop speed. You know, the good stuff that makes you grind your teeth to nubs and feel like chewing your eyebrows. You'll be wide awake, and paranoid enough to actually succeed in this business!
The WSO Guide to Understanding TARP
You get the double good morning from the security guards. Good morning when you leave the office and good morning when you come back to the office the same day. I always find that depressing.
When you go to the bathroom to do some monkey business and spill all over the front of your pants but are too tired to clean up so you just leave it and stop really giving a fuck...
When you go to leave the office and as you are walking through rotating glass door you hurry up because you think someone is walking in from the other side. Only as you exit do you realize in reality it was just your reflection on the glass...
"I don't think that there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverance. It overcomes almost everything, even nature." -John D. Rockefeller
You know you're working too much when you're watching porn at your desk and your first thought when you see the guy spit on and slap her tits is "I don't see the value add in that."... followed by wanting to slap yourself for including "Value add" in a thought.
When you try to put your coffee back in the refrigerator and your milk in the cabinet.
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