I just can't anymore

Im severely contemplating on taking my own life. Had my first superday last week at a BB for S&T, everything went well and I did semi-alright on my technicals. I prepped everyday for two months and somehow I just can't believe a company will make me feel this worthless. I just want to go to sleep tonight and not wake up. I literally don't understand why this is happening. I prioritized this superday over my finals. I networked so hard for this opportunity and I literally failed at the last step. I have a 3.29 Cum and 3.9 major. I will never be this lucky again.

 
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Sending love your way bro! I know recruiting is tough, but your life is so much more important than this job or industry. Take a few days off from this recruiting stuff and just relax, chill. You’re only 21/22 and have another 60+ years ahead of you! Don’t get too tunnel visioned into IB, because there’s so much more to life than this profession. Hope you can find peace

 

Can’t even tell you how many times I got rejected before breaking into IB. Just keep your head up and keep pushing. You’ll get there eventually.

Either way, heart palpitations over emails and PowerPoint deadlines aren’t worth dying over. Lots of ways to get rich / find intellectual stimulation / purpose in this world.

 

I would say don't kill yourself over this, not the end of the world. 

I just turned 37, been in finance/consulting since I was 22...Looking back on my career, no way in hell would I kill myself over the amount of BS I dealt with along the way.

I have a 3 year old son, I would kill myself for him though. Friends/family are everything in life and I didn't figure that out until I had my child.

Everything will be ok and you will get over this short-term setback. This will toughen you up in the long run as you are young and have your whole life to ruin as you work until you die. 

Lastly, if you do off yourself, you will destroy the lives of your friends and loved ones. Don't leave that burden on them because of a bad recruiting cycle. And don't make it a bloody suicide, no one wants to clean that ish up. 

 

Whenever I think negatively like that I remind myself that I could literally pick up my shit and move to hawaii and just surf and lay in the sand at any point and never talk to anyone from my previous life ever again. Disappear completely from my current life and never go back. No reason to kill yourself when you can just do that instead (insert hawaii with whatever place you want to go to)

Array
 

I hope you continue doing what makes you happy and worth pushing through. If all goes to shit, work at a hostel in South America. Most of them allow you to live and eat there for free, it's not luxurious but so worth it if you are trying to find yourself. Working in corporate is only really required if you want to make a surplus of money. If you are cool with living frugal and starting a new happy life, it is so possible. You just gotta let go of this idea of 'success' in America.

 

Just a reminder these companies are not worth dying for. Ive experience soo many colleagues come & go in just a short period of being in S&T. The crazy thing is no matter how good you are, Everything carries on as normal. I was very shocked by this at 1st but after a while i got over it. Its just not worth it.

 

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"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

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