Rants
I am a guy who has already broken into IBG once. Now I m trying to break into "investment banking" again. Call me corporate burglar for breaking in. (Self patting. Seems like unemployment is getting to my head)
I have 5 years of IBG experience, 2 years as an associate (bulge bracket) and 3 years as an analyst (boutique). Passed CFA level 1, prepping for level 2. Enrolled in MS financial mathematics (non-target),. AI is the future boys (not being gender specific). Seems like it's a re-run of my life from 5 years back.
I have the experience. The whole nine yards and more. But still it feels shit when I get a reply from IB firms for not making it. Applause for acknowledging that I have a strong resume.
Currently my job tracker states:
Big 4 Bulge bracket banks:
JPM: Quantitative analyst/ associate intern position. your job application is under consideration for 6 months.
Me: bitch tell me to eff off already
UBS>Quant Trader position: under consideration for 5 months. UBSs culture would disagree for not sending a "thank you for your application” email)
Morgan Stanley>Quant Analyst position (hoe update my application)
Wells Fargo> I know you are fair with stating job requirements . Either work authorisation or Chinese you cheap shit)
Supra-nationals:
IFC> applied for 3 Investment analyst position. Played the brown card for networking: still under consideration for 4 months. MF make up your mind. If that's the time you guys take to send a reply, God help the countries you guys are investing in.
World bank> hey I'm a block away from you sweetheart. Give me an internship. I have the experience. Only if I were an Arab. Gold digger!!!!
IMF> I haven't applied here because at this point I can't tell the difference from any of you hoes.
Big 4 Audit firms> I am relying on you to be my saviour.
Right now i have to congratulate myself for being hopeful.
Help me guys. I am thinking of applying for the railway tracks. kidding!! don't put me up for suicide help line.
Thank your for reading everyone. This is Felix@OIBTIDA
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