Shred My Networking Message Apart
Hi all, I would love to have a brutally honest review of the following networking messages. Please keep in mind that I mainly network through LinkedIn.
Please note that, for brevity's sake, the first 2 are sent only to bankers in my home country.
I would greatly appreciate ANY insight as it's my first shot EVER at recruiting. Thanks!
1st version, mainly for current interns and alumni:
Hi __,
I am a Y-year student at __. I noticed you are an alumnus (& analyst! @GS) of the same course.
I would love to hear more about your experience in 10 minutes and would appreciate your time.
Thank you
2nd version, for analysts/anyone busy working full-time:
Hi __,
I am a Y-year Z student. I would be grateful if you could dedicate 10 minutes to me in a short call to learn more about your experience at __ and as an IB analyst @GS.
Thank you
3rd version, for seniors (VP+) in London or elsewhere:
Hi __,
I am a Y-year Z student. I would be grateful if you could spare 10 minutes in a short call to learn more about your experience as a banker at __ Bank.
I am very interested in the __ sector and would like to hear about your experience changing from the __ coverage to __.
I would love to have a chat any day past __ pm. I'm naturally flexible.
Thank you
These are great but have you tried “Do you know who my dad is?”
Best of luck monk.
“i’m naturally flexible” weird flex but ok
should I say "Naturally, I'm flexible". I think its sort of a language barrier there lol
just say, “would it be possible to schedule a call past blank time?” sounds professional and gets your message across that youre flexible. if you dont have a time preference, say “would it be possible to schedule a call at your earliest convenience?”
jokes aside. when networking, you want to have something in common with that person you want to network with and using that as the reason why they want to talk to you. for the VP one, try to make it shorter and add some similarity that you share with that person. these are very busy people and they dont have time to read that email.
Thanks, really appreciate the feedback.
Take everything I say with a grain of salt (as I'm a prospect myself), but the bar for emails feels pretty low. I use a copy-pasted template with literally one sentence I change to make things personalized, and that has been good enough for me to be explicitly complimented on my emails; one person even flat-out told me, "I ignore most of the emails that I get, but yours stood out."
My "personalized sentence" basically outlines what I think is the most interesting about their background. That's it. My response rate has been about 60 percent so far on ~65 emails, and I've exclusively messaged people who are from my hometown, but not alums of my college.
Well, what kind of header do you use? To get them to open the email in the first place?
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