Another Enraged Sorority Email Leaked: "No Sex on the Red Couch!"

I guess the new thing is for these emails to leak on TFM. But they're great.

Subject: NO NO NO NO NO NO sex in common areas

LADIES (and someone in here is not acting like one)…..

NO SEX ON THE RED COUCH.

NO SEX IN THE KITCHEN (this particularly is upsetting as its supposed to be clean bc we prepare food).

NO SEX ANYWHERE In the common areas. NONE NONE NONE.

i cant believe i have to write this. but the condom wrapper in the kitchen is the LAST STRAW. im really pissed off. i dont want to eat from an area with your disgusting butt/vag/friends ween germs nor do i want to sit on them. so cut it out. we have beds for a reason and if you really have an aversion to sex in your bed (which is honestly really the only comfy option i enjoy of the three) then have sex in someone else’s COMMON area. its called common for a reason. its PUBLIC. so cut it out. if you dont have the balls to sexile the roommate, dont let someone else’s on the sofa or in OUR kitchen.

im so angry right now and im not sorry this is mean because its NOT okay. you have disrespected everyone and i dont appreciate it. ITS GROSSSSSSSS and UNSANITARY. i want to lysol the entire house now. i can understand it happening when youre really drunk but its not just that. keep in mind that i live on the first floor. and that sound carries. that goes not only for the house sex bandits, but for noise bandits as well.

ps to the kitchen offender: take the fucking condom wrapper out of the pot under the stove. thats not a trash can. its cookware.

Read more at http://totalfratmove.com/another-enraged-sorority-email-leaked-no-sex-o…

8 Comments
 

Somebody wanted attention

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee
 

My favorite places:

1) Bed- comfort outweighs all 2) Floor/kitchen table- because it just had to happen 3) Couch- a little of both 4) Shower- feels great, but I almost always slip at some point. Can be painful. 5) Anywhere else in the house 1,000,000,000,000) Beach- sand blows

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee
 
D M

My favorite places:

1) Bed- comfort outweighs all
2) Floor/kitchen table- because it just had to happen
3) Couch- a little of both
4) Shower- feels great, but I almost always slip at some point. Can be painful.
5) Anywhere else in the house
1,000,000,000,000) Beach- sand blows

Dude, floor needs to be 999,999,999,999). You're either getting rug burn or laying on hard wood or tile.

Also, these sorority girls are stupid. The one thing you don't do is send insane shit over the list-serve. All this does is open you up to troubles with alumni and lawsuits.

 

Consequatur deserunt velit optio nostrum qui vel sunt. Molestias odio illum quo debitis. Quo odio excepturi voluptatem beatae consequatur.

Quibusdam et ipsa eaque iure. Debitis voluptas culpa facere. Hic itaque est et nemo deserunt. Doloribus est ut mollitia qui perferendis. Reiciendis qui quaerat ipsa et.

Sunt et hic et. Quae dolores assumenda facere odit dolores.

Ratione beatae blanditiis ut et qui. Ullam laudantium et eos voluptates explicabo perspiciatis. Excepturi nesciunt dolor at nulla doloribus sed voluptates. Eaque nihil reiciendis alias aut. Repudiandae voluptas qui quod dolor natus voluptas repellat consequatur. Fugit et error et quis quis earum.

 

Illo ipsum ut sit maxime itaque consequatur omnis. Ipsam consequatur architecto animi labore officiis. Voluptates quo qui non similique. Qui voluptate quos aliquam. Eius architecto nostrum quibusdam commodi aspernatur ipsam vel. Unde necessitatibus sint mollitia voluptatem. Hic velit quisquam beatae rerum amet rerum.

Nemo voluptas inventore quasi architecto. Aut officia quas eum rerum. Tempore in voluptas et reiciendis est doloribus.

Quasi unde veritatis ad numquam. Optio commodi similique vitae eos odio tempora adipisci. Sit iste assumenda quo et voluptatibus tempore nihil.

Sapiente numquam debitis dolore aperiam voluptas cumque. Aut et velit fuga veritatis. Molestiae pariatur recusandae error et dolores iste delectus. Corporis officia ipsam voluptatem totam voluptatibus at dicta. Libero debitis recusandae aut. Quos reiciendis quaerat eaque repellendus sed quia. Laborum nostrum suscipit assumenda.

Commercial Real Estate Developer

Career Advancement Opportunities

September 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.5%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • JPMorgan 01 98.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 01 97.8%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.3%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

September 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.5%
  • Morgan Stanley 02 98.9%
  • Evercore 01 98.4%
  • Banco Santander 02 97.8%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.3%

Professional Growth Opportunities

September 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.5%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 98.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 01 97.8%
  • JPMorgan No 97.3%

Total Avg Compensation

September 2026 Investment Banking

  • Vice President (16) $429
  • Associates (51) $260
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (8) $210
  • 2nd Year Analyst (26) $182
  • Intern/Summer Associate (14) $159
  • 1st Year Analyst (84) $151
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (76) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
3
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
4
kanon's picture
kanon
99.0
5
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
98.9
6
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
7
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
8
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
9
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
10
Mimbs's picture
Mimbs
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”