Any hacks for buying an engagement ring?

Hey, per the title trying to buy an engagement ring. Don't think my girlfriend is expecting anything huge or expensive, but was just wondering if anyone could share some hacks or short cuts they've found; namely, maybe some place to buy a cheap diamond and band separately than putting it together. 

Comments (50)

19d 
GoIdman Sachs, what's your opinion? Comment below:

If you live in Manhattan, go to the diamond district. Don't pay for retail price at Zales or Tiffany's, you can get the diamond way cheaper from brokers on the district, and many can get you in touch with getting the setting. Personally, I got one for ~50% cheaper than what I would have paid.

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9d 
Anonymous Monkey, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Exactly what I did. Bought a loose diamond that was much higher quality if it was already set in the ring. Then bought a ring from Tiffany's. Took the diamond and the ring to have it set. Done.

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19d 
The EBITA addback, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Don't go to any retail places and avoid ripoff Tiffany's. Online I've used James Allen for a replacement ring when my original ring was lost. James Allen will give you ideas of decent prices. TBH- these days I'd go lab grown there is zero difference between mined and lab grown diamond optically or chemically but lab grown is like 25% of the price. For instance- decent lab grown 2 ct diamond is $6k while a same quality mined diamond is about $20k.

Like the unadjusted- only with a little bit extra.
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19d 
leveragedleverage98, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Yes they do, you need to put them in a special chamber to check trapped gasses in order to tell a difference. There is articles of jewellers who were ripped off for years by select distributors selling lab diamonds as natural and charging as such before these machines were widespread.

The only reason anybody would ever buy natural in 2023 is because they or their fiancée have fallen for mined diamond propaganda.

18d 
The EBITA addback, what's your opinion? Comment below:

As the owner of many diamonds- both bought for and inherited from family- recently I bought myself a lab grown diamond. Zero difference between looking at my mined diamond vs lab grown. Yes they pass all of the "diamond tests". I would see what your future fiancé thinks about it but we spent a lot of time looking and learning about lab Vs mined and I'm 100% comfortable with a lab diamond and we will never again spend the equivalent of a new car on diamond jewellery here. 

Like the unadjusted- only with a little bit extra.
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18d 
Ozymandia, what's your opinion? Comment below:
ironman32

Hey, per the title trying to buy an engagement ring. Don't think my girlfriend is expecting anything huge or expensive, but was just wondering if anyone could share some hacks or short cuts they've found; namely, maybe some place to buy a cheap diamond and band separately than putting it together. 

Do you know what she wants?  If she's expecting an actual rock, then maybe buy her a lab grown diamond or cubic zirconia, and just tell her than in 5 years or whatever, you guys can splurge for the real thing when you've got more disposable income.  Maybe she doesn't care at all.  Maybe she wants a different stone, or none at all.  Kind of hard to give advice when the question is so broad.

Does someone in your family have a ring they might let you give to your (soon to be) fiance as an heirloom?

18d 
Isaiah_53_5 💎🙌💎🙌💎, what's your opinion? Comment below:
Ozymandia
ironman32

Hey, per the title trying to buy an engagement ring. Don't think my girlfriend is expecting anything huge or expensive, but was just wondering if anyone could share some hacks or short cuts they've found; namely, maybe some place to buy a cheap diamond and band separately than putting it together. 

Do you know what she wants?  If she's expecting an actual rock, then maybe buy her a lab grown diamond or cubic zirconia, and just tell her than in 5 years or whatever, you guys can splurge for the real thing when you've got more disposable income.  Maybe she doesn't care at all.  Maybe she wants a different stone, or none at all.  Kind of hard to give advice when the question is so broad.

Does someone in your family have a ring they might let you give to your (soon to be) fiance as an heirloom?

Buy her a cubic zirconia and don't tell her for 5 years? That's terrible advice.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

17d 
Ozymandia, what's your opinion? Comment below:
Isaiah_53_5 💎🙌💎🙌💎

Buy her a cubic zirconia and don't tell her for 5 years? That's terrible advice.

Haha that was not what I meant at all, though I worded it poorly enough that's not an unreasonable interpretation.

I meant, tell her that it's not a real diamond but that in five years or whatever you'll replace it with a real one when you have the disposable income to do so, and as long as no one else knows, no one will possibly notice the difference and you can swap it out with no one the wiser

18d 
WolfofWSO, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Not too familiar with this, but there is a way to enhance diamonds. So an I1 could become an SI1 with the improvements. It's a way to save some money, albeit know the stone will likely depreciate in value tremendously if you ever need to sell it or trade up someday.

If I need to buy a diamond, I'll look into this further.

Array

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18d 
The EBITA addback, what's your opinion? Comment below:
WolfofWSO

Not too familiar with this, but there is a way to enhance diamonds. So an I1 could become an SI1 with the improvements. It's a way to save some money, albeit know the stone will likely depreciate in value tremendously if you ever need to sell it or trade up someday.

If I need to buy a diamond, I'll look into this further.

I highly discourage this option. Clarity enhancement weakens the diamond, affects the light refraction so the diamond isn't as beautiful and makes the diamond worthless on the secondary market. A lab grown diamond is a diamond and a much better choice if saving money is important to you. 

Like the unadjusted- only with a little bit extra.
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18d 
WolfofWSO, what's your opinion? Comment below:

The EBITA addback

WolfofWSO

Not too familiar with this, but there is a way to enhance diamonds. So an I1 could become an SI1 with the improvements. It's a way to save some money, albeit know the stone will likely depreciate in value tremendously if you ever need to sell it or trade up someday.

If I need to buy a diamond, I'll look into this further.

I highly discourage this option. Clarity enhancement weakens the diamond, affects the light refraction so the diamond isn't as beautiful and makes the diamond worthless on the secondary market. A lab grown diamond is a diamond and a much better choice if saving money is important to you. 

I stand corrected.

Array

18d 
ebitduh2016, what's your opinion? Comment below:

In my friend circle, diamonds are quickly becoming overrated and rightly so.

Look into other gemstones or moissanite for a fraction of the price. Use the savings for another 3 vacations, wedding, house down payment, etc

Now if you're a big dick VP clearing half a mil (not me) then splurge. But if you're a schmuck clearing 200k then a 75k ring is a horrible life decision 

18d 
Isaiah_53_5 💎🙌💎🙌💎, what's your opinion? Comment below:
ebitduh2016

In my friend circle, diamonds are quickly becoming overrated and rightly so.

Look into other gemstones or moissanite for a fraction of the price. Use the savings for another 3 vacations, wedding, house down payment, etc

Now if you're a big dick VP clearing half a mil (not me) then splurge. But if you're a schmuck clearing 200k then a 75k ring is a horrible life decision 

Yeah $200K equates to a $50K ring.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

18d 
ebitduh2016, what's your opinion? Comment below:
Isaiah_53_5 💎🙌💎🙌💎
ebitduh2016

In my friend circle, diamonds are quickly becoming overrated and rightly so.

Look into other gemstones or moissanite for a fraction of the price. Use the savings for another 3 vacations, wedding, house down payment, etc

Now if you're a big dick VP clearing half a mil (not me) then splurge. But if you're a schmuck clearing 200k then a 75k ring is a horrible life decision 

Yeah $200K equates to a $50K ring.

lol I know you're trolling but I know a dude who makes 70k and bought a 25k ring

have to keep up with the jones (social media friends)

18d 
Isaiah_53_5 💎🙌💎🙌💎, what's your opinion? Comment below:

20 of the most expensive celebrity rings

https://www.brides.com/story/most-expensive-celebrity-engagement-rings

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

17d 
Isaiah_53_5 💎🙌💎🙌💎, what's your opinion? Comment below:

leftcoastlenny

Your gf may not have said it out loud but she wants a decent sized rock.

I've talked to a lot of girls about this and there is a trick to girls. They don't always say what they mean. Maybe they think a big diamond isn't a big deal and say to get whatever. You take that at face value and then buy her a little tiny rock with two smaller rocks on the side.

She says "its so cute" when she sees it and then is genuinely happy for that moment. Then as she is hanging out with friends around town they say "congratulations" and what an "adorable" ring, while all these ladies are wearing big super sparkly rocks. Your fiancee starts to notice that it is a pretty tiny rock, but assures herself that she is happy with it. Then some self doubts rise to the surface like "why didn't he buy a bigger rock", "are we in an inferior social class", "does he not love me as much as I think he does"?

Always get a decent sized rock. Maybe its lab grown, but clear that with her first. You always want her girlfriends to approve as well who are in your social circle. Yes, this comes down to social norms. People in their respective classes get certain rings. Some girls say they are fine with just a silicone ring - the adventurer types. Even those types would like to be given a rock too just to feel special and ladylike and to wear for special events. When in doubt, no matter what she says, always get a nice sized rock. 

It's not keeping up with the Joneses. It's a physical representation of your love for your SO. 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

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17d 
IncomingIBDreject, what's your opinion? Comment below:

It's keeping up with the Joneses…

You pick up diamond sales as a side gig?

Array

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11d 
Moritz Mickelweiß, what's your opinion? Comment below:
Isaiah_53_5 💎🙌💎🙌💎.

I've talked to a lot of girls about this and there is a trick to girls. They don't always say what they mean.

Obvious!

“Strive for perfection in everything you do. Take the best that exists and make it better. When it does not exist, design it.” -- Sir Frederick Henry Royce, 1st Baronet, Co-Founder of Rolls-Royce Limited.
17d 
Ricky Sargulesh, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Biggest hack (if possible) is to find out if anybody in either family has unused diamonds that can be used.  Multiple people in my extended family have repurposed old diamonds from various relatives old rings/jewelry.  This will save like 70-90% of the cost of the ring since all of the cost is really paying for the main diamond.  Lots of old people either don't wear their engagement rings anymore or are happy to have theirs repurposed for children/grandchildren if asked.

Array
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17d 
Isaiah_53_5 💎🙌💎🙌💎, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I went to dinner with an ex girlfriend to this Korean place. She was Korean and her brother and his wife were too. Her brother picked us up for dinner in his 7 series BMW, but mentioned he also had a Mercedes AMG G wagon and a Ferrari in his garage. I was impressed as my ex said nothing about this when talking about her brother. There was one more thing - she said "don't try to out drink him, it will end badly for you." And she was right. We drank this rice wine bottle after bottle and I was getting smashed. He occasionally would say "what you think you can drink more than me?" I'd just nod my head. I was so done. 

Then I noticed his wife's wedding ring. It looked like costume jewelry the stones were so big. Sparkling like a mofo. So as drunk as I am I say to her: "your ring's pretty badass" - she said "yeah that's what $250K looks like." I said "are you serious - $250K?!?" She laughed and said if she knew how much money his family had before he proposed, she would have made him pay for a much bigger ring. 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

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13d 
NewIndustryHorizon, what's your opinion? Comment below:

That's a huge flag as a guy for a girl to even think that. Kind of feel bad for the guy she's engaged/married to. If I heard that, I would have warned the guy if I was his brother / friend.

That car collection kind of reminds me of an Asian guy who lives on my block back home lol. I always felt the dude was overcompensating for something with his random Ferrari that he drives every Sunday.

17d 
Isaiah_53_5 💎🙌💎🙌💎, what's your opinion? Comment below:

My friend Zameer sells diamond rings. Office is on 57th/Madison. He is more about the process and getting to know you to get the perfect ring. He worked at McKinsey then went to HBS.

http://www.zameerkassam.com/gallery

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

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17d 
Isaiah_53_5 💎🙌💎🙌💎, what's your opinion? Comment below:
IncomingIBDreject

Getting paid to shill?

No, I just believe in his process/product.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

17d 
Smoke Frog, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Never go to a name brand place like Cartier, get the box if you want, but that's it.

You said she doesn't care about anything fancy so I would suggest you just source the diamond on blue Nile.

And skimp on things like color and clarity and max out on carat.

Most Helpful
16d 
Deal Team Six, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Hey man, first of all congrats! Ive read a lot of your posts over the years and thoroughly enjoy them.

Couple thoughts as someone with a bunch of friends going through this phase (Im not far off myself): 

1. Lab grown vs. "from the ground". This is something you want to discuss off the bat. Lab grown may have once had negative connotaitons as not being authentic but it also indicates no one was killed in the process of procuring your diamond. Many of my friends are opting for these as they are both less expensive, and (more importantly), their GFs have actually requested them. 

2. Shop with your GF to find out her style. This is probably obvious, but if youre proposing, you want to ensure you get a ring that she will love and treasure. Whether it be an appointment at Tiffanys (friend of mine did this over the weekend and I dont recommend) or simply looking online through one of the generic jeweler pages, get a feel for what she likes. 

Im sorry I cant better answer your OP questions but I thought these two tips would be helpful. If I were you I would ask some of the older married folks in your area that you're close with, ideally those that are (or were when they proposed) close to your tax bracket. 

Best of luck!

15d 
Cluelessboutnance, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I'm a girl, so I feel like my commentary might be helpful.

100% go with a lab Diamond. It is going to be undeniably conflict free and indistinguishable from a mined Diamond. Lab diamonds are also significantly cheaper.

I really like the sites "vrai" and "Frank darling." You absolutely need to know her preference as far as yellow gold and platinum goes + ring shape and size. I myself love the classic Tiffany setting with a round solitaire Diamond.

You don't need a VVS2 or even VS1. I would go look at some diamonds in person to see how low you want to go in clarity and color. Cut is going to be the most important.

You can easily get a beautiful, blingy 2ct center stone ring for about $8000. The most important thing is that you know what your girlfriend likes!

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15d 
Isaiah_53_5 💎🙌💎🙌💎, what's your opinion? Comment below:
Cluelessboutnance

I'm a girl, so I feel like my commentary might be helpful.

100% go with a lab Diamond. It is going to be undeniably conflict free and indistinguishable from a mined Diamond. Lab diamonds are also significantly cheaper.

I really like the sites "vrai" and "Frank darling." You absolutely need to know her preference as far as yellow gold and platinum goes + ring shape and size. I myself love the classic Tiffany setting with a round solitaire Diamond.

You don't need a VVS2 or even VS1. I would go look at some diamonds in person to see how low you want to go in clarity and color. Cut is going to be the most important.

You can easily get a beautiful, blingy 2ct center stone ring for about $8000. The most important thing is that you know what your girlfriend likes!

You would be happy with an $8K ring?

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

13d 
MonkeyNoise, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Most women would be thrilled with an $8k ring. Frankly, if someone expects more than an $8k ring that's a pretty massive red flag IMO.

Aint saying not to spend that money on her if you want to and got it. But doing it for her vs because she expects it are night and day different. I would never marry someone that entitled 

15d 
Cluelessboutnance, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Except his girlfriend might want a Diamond. A lot of women do. And lab diamonds are very affordable and are indistinguishable from mined.

15d 
Greg Gregson, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I went the real diamond route years ago. The stone was sourced from New York by a local jeweler who then created the ring. If you have the cash, I would recommend at least 2 carats. Ultimately the ring is a reflection of you and size does matter (regardless of what other people say). On the GIA scale, just don't go above the H color and SI2 clarity (inside info from family in the business) because then the inclusions become noticeable. More recently I bought my wife a ring with lab grown diamonds from Grown Brilliance which looks great. Not sure if lab grown diamonds was even a thing back when I purchased the engagement ring but I definitely would've went that route if I knew about it. Also would've saved me tens of thousands of dollars.

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13d 
TheBuellerBanker, what's your opinion? Comment below:

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9d 
buggylovesfinance, what's your opinion? Comment below:

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