Being Good Looking

Hey peeps, 

Looking back into my career, the only time's I've genuinely been hired were mostly by women who interviewed me, not men. For example, if 2/3 interviewers were women, or the VP/MD who had the most say was a woman, that's when I get hired. And this is true not only for getting jobs but also going into B school.

I genuinely will be the first to say that this industry has more of an inclination towards people who possess sociopathic, and/or typically undesirable traits. Not everyone, as this industry has many, many amazing people as well. But it is cut throat, and there is no sugar coating that.

With that being said, throughout undergrad and till today, I have to be try extra hard to be humble, extra hard to remain down to earth, etc as I feel that many people(mostly men) who interview me feel I'm some sort of threat. I'm genuinely a good guy, but being over 6 feet and being good looking(women have often told me to model, I look a lot like Matt Bomer), combined with my academic background, I feel like makes people(men mostly) insecure around me. It often feels like guys who interview me automatically don't like me, really out of jealousy. Often times, even in social settings, I can definitely even tell when the envy kicks in, and it bothers me a lot. As I've aged, I've luckily started looking worse, but it still bothers me that it has affected me this negatively. I'm great at my job, I've spent a ton to get constantly educated and keep learning, etc. I guess what I'm asking is if anyone else has gone through, and what has helped you. And before anyone says that I'm just not good enough, or I'm falsely conceded, just about everything I wrote about myself is what my VP's, managers, and friends have expressed about me, and I know damn well I have my own flaws and things that I could get better. My issue stems from how I seem to be treated mostly as a result of other's own insecurities. 

21 Comments
 

You ever see 25th Hour? If you really think being 'good looking' is impeding your performance assessment, refer to the scene where he asks his mates to bash his 'beautiful face' in to avoid the entering of something after dropping the soap. 

Let's face it - you're probably overthinking it. I'm good-looking - my colleagues, not so much. If I feel as though it's getting in the way and lowering my true performance rating, I'll happily forget about it knowing I could still make it out there / when smashing it in 

 

Agree as i know what you're talking about. for me, its only explicitly while interviewing, as i feel dudes(younger ones, not boomers) are a different breed often. 

As much as im going to get hate for this, around most of my finance peers even in uni, it seemed that the whole patrick bateman/finance incel behavior thing was emblematic of most of their personalities, some more than others. Obviously a lot of them are also not like this. But these types seem much more prevalent in finance, and often have characteristics that people in other professions dont- they are more prone to jealousy, envy, etc. Like sales people are really chill, nurses are calm, etc. Thus i think for guys like you and me, even when they cant help it, they do feel inferior and obs that will and does come across. its really pathetic, but unfortunately its the way they are. they cant grasp the idea that somebody is better at them in multiple realms of life lmao

 
Funniest

Sorry bro but what's actually likely going on is girls are just giving you an undeserved benefit due to your looks while the men are more seriously evaluating your competency

 

how far into your career are you? could could have real world confidence and undue competency confidence. I face this in a way in my job as I am more senior than my boss. I'm lucky I look younger, but I always have to play down and humble myself to protect their ego. And my boss is a good person, people just have egos. So yeah, you have to humble yourself a bit.

 

associate level, and i 100% agree. it doesn't impact promotions, etc once you're in. For me it has only affected me professionally when interviewing. its unfortunate but i guess when 1/4 of this industry is as materialistic and ego-driven as most of these monkeys are,specially the newer gen, goodlooking dudes will always feel like a threat to them 

 

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