Fumbled the girl and I am so down
I finally had the chance. We went out like 4 or 5 times. She was exactly my type, her eyes, her hair, the way she dressed. I just fucked it up eventually, I couldn't stop thinking about her. I've never been this down over a girl before. I was riding so high and mighty for a while, work was going good, I've been in pretty decent shape, I've been trying to dress well and work on my demeanor. I just feel like a complete loser idiot now and I don't know where to go. The worst part is I still see her at the gym I go to and it crushes me. I wish I did it differently. Fuck me man, I feel like the life is sucked out of me.
Do you live in Cleveland? If not, there’s other fish in the sea
Fucking San Francisco dude
Bro I have friends in NYC/LDN who are thinking about uprooting their entire lives to be on the west coast simply for dating prospects
Shit that’s the Cleveland of the west coast.
Move to nyc
There are no other fish in the sea
Any info on demographics for SF girls?
Much worse than Cleveland. Not joking.
yep, there are way more hot girls than men making $200k+. it's sad to see that high quality men don't see their value. if you're a banker, girls should be auditioning for you, not the other way around. you're in top 1% of men by income. you are in the position of power. you shouldn't be working on your demeanor (whatever OP means by it), you should be confident because you are at the top of the pyramid.
No way that’s true in nyc. At least not for mid 30s and above
Relax buddy.
Spill the tea and tell us exactly what you did
I am talking to like 2-3 right now but she was just a different league. I guess I need to up my game. Problem is my boys are all dating too right now so I don’t have many to go out and see the scene with. That’s a me issue though.
Bro I agree with the second point but like how tf do you have the time to do that?? Can barely manage 1.
I mean they're either friends of friends or hinge dates that I've been out with a couple times that's it and we just text
Thats life bro
Lmao 4 or 5 times, gotta close the deal on the first date
Dude I kissed her on the first and we hooked up on the 3rd. It was after that
You clearly didn’t lay it down the way you should of. No girl ghosts if you make her eyes roll back. Guessing you were in your head and nervous since you think she’s a reach for you. Don’t ever make that mistake again king.
"With women, there are really only two options. Either she doesn't sleep with you and there's really no reason to ever call her again. Or she does sleep with you... and there's really no reason to ever call her again."
- Monty (played by Ryan Reynolds), in Waiting
she prolly getting another mans dih during V-day
how did you go out 4-5+ times? did nothing happen after the first date (atleast no kiss ,nothing)? in your head what did u do wrong like whyd she say no more?
I kissed her on the first and we hooked up on the 3rd. She seriously looked at me in the eyes like no girl has before.
What happened was we were planning twice to go out again and she kept flaking and one time she led me on till the morning of and then went silent. So I just stopped texting her after that. I should’ve just told her I wanted to date her but I haven’t been in a long term relationship before that started like this so I was just lost and overthought it like hell
she might have just had a herpes flare up and is waiting for it to pass before meeting up again
Yeah you're overthinking. I can 100% guarantee she didn't ghost you because you didn't tell her soon enough that you wanted to date her. She is ghosting because maybe she didn't find you attractive enough or - she has better options currently.
Your best bet is to move on. Maybe she will find it attractive that you didn't over-pursue and come back. That's your best possible scenario, but you need to move on.
Married now, so I am admittedly long past this stage in life, but perhaps I can offer a perspective. First and foremost, dude, it absolutely sucks when you fumble it with a girl you really like.
10 years later I will never forget the first girl I fumbled it with so badly, and I was obsessed with her. We had great chemistry, everyone else could see how into each other we were, it was a LOCK. Yeah well one night I was too drunk she made a move and I didnt see it coming at all and my response was delayed and sloppy and the next day she texted saying she wanted to just forget anything happened. This was my shot to tell her how I felt but I was extremely hungover and far from thinking clearly, so I said something like "for sure, no worries". I cringe about it to this day. This was after MONTHs of chemistry building at parties where she was clearly waiting for me to make a move. To make matters worse, a friend hooked up with her shortly after even though he knew how I felt about her. Talk about salt in the wound. I was truly nuts about this girl, lost sleep over her for weeks (if not months). It may feel crazy to feel so torn up about her, but the worse you feel, the greater the loss. You are reacting completely appropriately. However, looking back on it with perspective, it was not meant to be and was more symbolic of young love vs. the person I was truly meant to be with.
The only advice now I can offer you is learn from it and move on. I fumbled 10x more than I succeeded when it came to women, but if even my dumb*ss can find a way to succeed long term, so can you. That is not hyperbole, I fumbled with so many different women I am amazed I ever got it right.
Keep working on yourself man, and as you continue to do so, you will find the one. I remember I was 25 when I met my now wife, and at the time I thought I was a lost cause, destined to die alone, due to an extended streak of bad luck. I had been spending so many YEARS investing in myself, but in the end it took all that work and time to attract the right person. Hang in there man, it may be a while before you find the one, but you will get there.
Thank you, the perspective is very reassuring. But when I tell you, the way she looked me in the eyes, when we went out people would look at us from across the room. Random people and bartenders would come over and talk to us about it.
I don't think she was the right one long term to be honest, her family situation isn't perfect and career wise I want someone more ambitious, etc. and there were other issues like that kind of made me hesitate but I can't help but think I could've overcome all that.
What eventually happened was she wanted me to invite her or to meet her friends over vice versa and I overthink those situations like there is no tomorrow, so I just never made it happen. I'm no slouch either, and I'm sure she thinks about it too. I don't know if she was playing me but she asked me 2 times if I wanted a relationship and I did say yes but I'm not sure if she believed it, but to be honest I don't know if I believe it myself. I'm 24 and I want to put myself out there as I finally grow up and found my confidence.
I did that same thing you did, the "for sure, no worries" thing. Why the hell did I do that
It is very clear from your response you still have mixed feelings. These situations are always the toughest. My initial reaction would be that there are enough doubts (real or imagined, hard to say) that are giving you pause. My gut says that if you really thought she was the one, or had a good feeling that was the case, you would've already called her and tried to make it work. If you are holding back due to nerves / insecurity / overthinking about how things might play out, you just need to go for it man. If you are holding back because of legitimate uncertainty as to whether or not you have long term compatibility, odds are you are making the right call, by at least taking the appropriate amount of time to think about how to proceed.
But look man, if you really like her and feel like you would kill to have a future with her, text her right now to see if she will get a coffee with you and let you say your piece. Then lay it all out there. There is no shame in being honest and getting rejected. There is shame in having strong feelings and doing nothing about it due to cowardice (I say this because I was a coward so many times and its one of my few regrets in life).
But have you tried to fix things up?
If there wasn’t a major issue (like cheating or something serious), wouldn’t it just take inviting her for a coffee and having an honest conversation?
You guys make life way more complicated than it should…
This might be some of the best shit I’ve ever read on this site lmao. Love the perspective!
Find a milf
Know this may seem heavy now but this is relatively light in the grand scheme of life. Unless you were ready to get married, it was going to end at some point.
Fr. To OP - I been fucked up about relationships and girls and whatnot for awhile because I was down on my luck too, body went to shit working this job, no energy or time tbh to build a connection. Then I met this girl 3 weeks ago. Now I am not saying I am in love or anything but we vibe and she texts me some crazy shit throughout the day that makes everyday a LOT better. That is after a dry spell or just not connecting with people. Point is, if you try and fix it maybe it will work. Maybe not. If it doesn't, keep swinging.
If you fumbled, it means you had possession. Now, nobody makes the Hall of Fame off rebounds, so give up on that one. You gotta keep sending off shots, though, because you’re bound to score.
Man, go lock in at the gym. Bitches come and go brudda. Build yourself and chase your goals not hoes
I’ve been there man. Dated a girl this summer I thought was perfect but it didn’t work out. Six months later I feel nothing but appreciation for some fun memories and good socializing. There are so many girls out there, don’t let the wrong one prevent you from meeting the right one. Your wife isn’t the girl who is avoiding you / ignoring your texts I’ll tell you that.
Did you copy this from ChatGPT and forget to remove the quotation marks?
No doubt that this girl was very physically attractive but she wasn't the one.
Re-read your post, it's all very shallow. No offense and that's ok. You had a shot with a pretty girl and blew it. Big deal move on.
When you meet the one, your post will read much different than the above.
I refuse to believe you guys are all so lost and fragile.
This is bot-based engagement farming. Has to be.
You’re letting one girl make you feel like a loser when, before this, you were on top of your game? That’s a weak mindset. Yeah, you liked her, and yeah, you fumbled it—but so what? You were doing well before she came into the picture, and you’ll be doing well after. You’re acting like she was the only girl in the world who fit your type. Trust me, there will be others, and next time, you won’t make the same mistakes.
You’re letting her presence at the gym mess with your head when the reality is, she’s just another person lifting weights. She’s not some goddess sent to humble you. Stop letting her live rent-free in your mind. Keep your head up, refocus on your work, your fitness, and your presence. The same way you leveled up before, you can level up again. The worst thing you can do is spiral—because that’s when you really lose. Keep moving forward, and let this be a lesson, not a life sentence.
Feeling like a broken record here, stop simping WSO
never trip over a b*** unless she is on the floor, move on my guy this is the best thing that will happen to you
Just remember that today is always worse than yesterday and better than tomorrow
What does this even mean
I’m sure you can figure it out
It's akin to the SEAL expression. "The only easy day was yesterday."
Head up. Kill the intership and she will come crawling back
Lmao OP is a certfied AN2 what internship is he about to kill
First off first I respect the fact that you are willing to share your experience. Secondly, why do we fall down? so we can pick ourselves up. This is a learning opportunity for you to improve and I am sure you are going to improve,this is part of the journey in life. This experience shall only make you better. And one day you will not need to ask a woman out, she shall chase you. Keep fighting success is just around the corner.
Keep your head your champ. We have all been there before. Numerous times for me. It might even be every week. You need to get out more and be your best self. Define what that means. For me: Be in good shape, good relationships with good people, and meet new folks with a smile on your face. I promiseeeeeee you that you will be fine and better off in the long run. There's 4bn other women in the world. That's an abundance if you ask me.
See a cute girl at the coffee shop, compliment her nails. Smell a nice perfume, ask her the scent. Trust me, you will be fine and with someone you are even more enamored with
-From a single male with the same exact problem. Good luck brother
Try texting her 17 times between 2:45am and 4:15am on a Sunday
But seriously, you think you fumbled, and maybe you did. However, you’ll meet someone even better at some point.
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