Getting Married.
What’s your opinions on marriage, do y’all wanna get married one day, or live the single life forever? My girlfriend wants to get married after we graduate, been together for a little over a year. She dropped that bomb on me last night and I was so surprised I choked on my dinner. Not in the mood for marriage yet, and def won’t be until at least late 20’s - probably 30’s. Should I break it off now, or enjoy it and just run off to another city in year or so.
I had a bunch of girlfriends in my 20s who brought up marriage and I wasn’t into it at the time and basically broke up with all of them.
Im down to get married, but haven’t found the one yet.
She’s a decent enough person (she’s fun as hell). I don’t think she’s marriage material, is it wrong to enjoy it while it lasts, knowing I’m going to break up with her.
There is the argument some make that the more time you spend with her, you are blocking yourself in a way from meeting your future wife. I have been in relationships where I didn't intend to get married and just had fun and I think its ok to do that in your 20s. I'm in my 30s now and wouldn't date any non-wifey material at this point.
I would like to get married one day. I'm ball-parking late 20s as when I personally see it making the most sense (5-8 years of career experience, money saved up, network expanded, options to move around geographically and to more family-friendly roles in terms of hours).
Lots of things can still change in this time. I imagine that rushing into a relationship now while you are in banking and with your girlfriend potentially expecting facetime and contact won't mix well with banking hours. In fact, I can see this as a recipe for disaster. Of course there are exceptions if you are both career-focused, mindful of these things and committed to a longer term relationship in the future.
She is not career focused ( nothing wrong with that) she’s an arts major. I’m not in banking, but hours may still be rough. I think she just wants to be a house wife. Honestly, don’t want to get married, would much rather be single but also have a girlfriend, if you know what I mean.
Good on you for finding someone who willingly agrees to be a homemaker. I suspect a conflict will arise if her expectations are that you two will be spending incredible amounts of time together as you ramp up the early years of your marriage. What I'm thinking may happen is you will be focused on growing in your career and experience, and she may not get to see as much of you as she may want.
Perhaps a direct conversation on the matter and where you two stand should be something you consider? At least, I personally prefer a direct approach and laying out expectations. Might as well realize this is a bad idea now instead of reluctantly marrying and realizing it was a mistake only to break everything up later and end in divorce.
Finance bros and art hoes go together like West Virginia and incest
As a woman (senior in college) I think she’s rushing it. We’ve changed so much over the past 4 years alone and you both are very likely to change that much more over the next four years. If she really loves you for you she’d understand wanting to wait until you both mature a bit more. I don’t see why you need to marry before like age 27 tbh, if you make it that long you’ll know you could just start having kids right away so it’s not like she’d be behind on her biological clock. Enjoy your 20s (faithfully) without the added pressure of signing off on “forever” so early.
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