i would like to fight a pitbull to the death

my neighbor has a shitbull that has made eyes at me when i go on runs. i stare it down and tell it to take its best shot. fighting a pitbull to death is probably the most alpha thing imaginable for someone living in my suburban environment.

27 Comments
 

If you want alpha, get a pack of Dobermanns, and feed them a steady diet of blood and cocaine for a week. Then lock yourself in a room with them and have at it (no weapons allowed). After emerging victorious, with your foes' pelts fashioned into a glorious war-cloak, that pitbull won't even be able to look at you without shitting itself from feelings of utter fear and inferior testicle size. Try it out and let us know how it worked!

 
Best Response

Sorry, I wasn't too specific on this. Ideally what you want is a 1:3 mixture of cocaine to fresh blood (preferably human). Go for about one average bowlful of the stuff for an adult dobermann. A nifty tip if you had a really stressful week at work or if you're just that much of a badass is to get yourself some smokeless gunpowder and mix that into your cocaine at a ratio of about 1:5 gunpowder to cocaine. This will give your dobies that extra element of pizazz and it does wonders for a nice shiny coat which will look great as a war-cloak. Hope this clears things up!

 

Can I make a video of my brother and I having this dialog in heavy Russian accents and put it on YouTube?

heister: Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad. https://arthuxtable.com/
 
OpsDude GoldenCinderblock:

Can I make a video of my brother and I having this dialog in heavy Russian accents and put it on YouTube?

yes

OK, if I don't get laid tonight, I will do this and upload it tomorrow. Is it a bad career move to do this kinda shit? I'm guessing yes, but I kinda don't care and everyone already knows I'm a degenerate and doesn't care..
heister: Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad. https://arthuxtable.com/
 

thought you meant Pit Bull the artist - would have rooted for anyone that could take this doucherhino out

speed boost blaze
 

tinder is not looking good right now. i'm psyched about this script you guys are working on for me.

heister: Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad. https://arthuxtable.com/
 

OK homies, nobody wants to come film for me and the audio on my laptop is not picking up at all. I'm gonna have to selfie this whole bitch on my phone and splice it together. So do NOT get your hopes up. I am doing this because I am a man of my word. Stand by.

heister: Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad. https://arthuxtable.com/
 

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heister: Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad. https://arthuxtable.com/

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