Interns - you are terrible
Associate 1 now - these interns are the worst I think I’ve ever seen.
0 initiative, awful writers, and mess up the easiest formatting tasks such as making the footnotes not bounce from page to page.
I gave my intern a simple LBO model the other day, provided 3 days of time for him to complete it, and he came back with an awful work product, a bunch of cells NA’d out, and an IRR of -37%…
The worst part of it all is the lack of awareness - Broccoli haircuts, gen Z talk, and idiotic comments.
Not to mention these people are the most spoiled kids in America (from Greenwich, attending Columbia, in “literary” fraternities - what even is that?).
Had one intern trying to flex on me about hanging out with his literary frat in East Hampton… truly another crop of embarrassing and spoiled interns.
NGL unc, me and the bruhs (the squad often runs trios) just wanna rizz up the NYU huzz with gyatts but father said we ned to cop a job in IB. On skib, heck on diddy I dont have time to double check LBOs for a company in ohio becauee the dudes will call me mid if it isnt blinking every time I hit it, that level of alpha takes a lot of practice to not git sick fr fr. we dont need unc thinking hes the main character here trying to fannum tax our gains in th so ya gotta lighten the work load so we can hit the iron. All 0f this is valid no cap cause youre interns are probably the goated sigmas
del del del del del del del del
Half of life is lost in charming others. The other half is lost in going through anxieties caused by others. Leave this play intern, you have played enough
We don't really care. Just put the return offer in the bag big bro.
Let's go. Should be easy to get offers for the good interns then.
Not for you
.
As a Gen Z’er, I’m embarrassed by these guys. A good chunk of us were raised right, have the right attitude and the right work ethic.
Did you get picked yet ?
Did you have to remove a rib or were you always this talented?
The clear overusage of AI is the worst part.
Ayo, so the day start mad early, like 6 in the mornin’. I roll outta bed, throw on my suit, and hit that train to Midtown lookin’ half-dead but tryna look sharp. Soon as I step in the office, it’s all go time — emails poppin’ off, MDs barkin’ orders, and I’m over here tryna finish them pitch decks like my life depend on it. Gotta keep that Excel tight too, formulas crispy, no slip-ups, or else they on you quick. Lunch? Man please, it’s more like a protein bar at my desk while I pray I don’t get staffed on another fire drill.
By the time 9PM hit, I’m still grindin’ — VPs want changes on slides they ain’t even looked at all day, talkin’ ‘bout “just a few tweaks.” Next thing I know, it’s 1AM, and I’m still in that office, eyes red, but I ain’t tryna be the weak link. I’m hustlin’ hard, knowin’ if I survive this summer, I might just get that return offer and really touch some bread. On the real, this IB life ain’t no joke — it’s pressure, but if you built for it, you gon’ shine. Just gotta stay up, stay ready, and never let ‘em see you sweat.
Bro ur a first year associate stfu don't act like you're out of the trenches lmao
Lool that’s why I’m top bucket every year and on fast track for VP.
I am slightly out of the trenches but ok
Lets be honest if you were top bucket bucket you'd be in the buy side lil bro. Nobody willingly loves to become vp at an investment bank. You ain't fooling nobody lil broski.
you sound like a typical old MBA associate. Stfu and chill out dude. No wonder these associates have shitty reputations
Yet you probably fuck up the comps everytime.
You’re just mad you suck at your job
Lol get a life you clown. You are just mad bc you are old as dirt and still working on the desk next to some frat kid
Fix your hiring practices then
Says the bottom bucketer
Guarantee OP's associates thought he was a dumbass too when he was an intern.
21-23 year olds are all morons. Some grow out of it.
So many triggered interns in the comments… some of you are gonna get humbled quick.
In reality though, my personal experience with this class of interns has been good. They’re way better than the 2020-2021 Covid anti-work cohort… most are hard working and willing to learn if you give them a chance. Doing a fulsome LBO for the first time isn’t exactly easy, give them some time to learn and do your part teaching them the importance of sanity checking the outputs.
However one skill that I’ve noticed has quickly deteriorated amongst interns (and junior analysts) is written communication. So many grammar errors… maybe that’s a byproduct of technology and AI.
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