Quarter life crisis - to quit or be a career banker
A while back, I posted about wanting to quit, fly to Bali, and live in hostels. At the time, I was very burned out (still am). I wanted to provide an update to see if anyone has any thoughts.
To recap, I've been at my firm for nearly 4 years now. A2A. Honestly, I had a very hard time getting used to IB: the hours and the culture. As someone who's quite entrepreneurial, it just didn't feel like the right place for me. Despite that, I've now outlasted most of my start class. A while back, I decided that 2024 would be my last year in IB. I'd collect my bonus and probably travel for some time to figure out what's next. Maybe that's starting a business. Maybe that's buying one. As somebody who has lived a very risk-averse life and have frankly never failed, I don't want to do what I see some of my peers doing: going from IB to B-school then back into banking or consulting. I want to live a meaningful life.
However, I've recently been considering another view. I come from a culture where men are expected to financially provide. One day, I will meet a woman I love, who I want to take care of and with whom I want to have children. When that day comes, I want to be able to support a comfortable lifestyle. I also feel like making good money allows me to punch "above my weight class" (despite mixed dating success to date). Taking a step back, I'm 25, living in NYC. I've upgraded from the flex wall apartment of my analyst years and at work, I feel like I've earned some (small degree) of respect. Although the hours are just as brutal as day 1, I'm starting to wonder if the "responsible" thing to do is to stay.
Does anyone have any thoughts? Feeling very lost at the moment.
Based on the most helpful WSO content, your situation resonates with many in the industry. Here's a breakdown of key considerations:
Burnout and Meaningful Life: It's clear you're grappling with the classic "Quarter Life Crisis" many in IB face. As highlighted in WSO threads, banking often takes a toll on mental health and personal fulfillment. If your entrepreneurial spirit is calling, it might be worth exploring that path. Many have found success transitioning to startups, VC, or even launching their own ventures after IB.
Financial Responsibility vs. Personal Fulfillment: The cultural expectation to provide is valid, but remember, financial success isn't exclusive to IB. As noted in WSO discussions, the skills you've gained—problem-solving, speed, and resilience—are highly transferable. Whether it's starting a business or pivoting to another field, you can still achieve financial stability while pursuing something more aligned with your values.
Optionality and Risk: Banking provides a strong safety net and optionality, which is why many stick around. However, as one WSO user pointed out, "Your career is a marathon, not a sprint." If you feel IB isn't sustainable long-term, it might be worth taking a calculated risk now while you're young and have fewer obligations.
Dating and Lifestyle: The idea of "punching above your weight class" financially is understandable, but as others have shared, true compatibility often transcends income. Building a meaningful life and pursuing your passions might make you more attractive to the right partner than simply staying in a high-paying but unfulfilling role.
Next Steps: If you're unsure, consider taking a sabbatical or using your bonus to fund a short break. Travel, reflect, and explore your entrepreneurial ideas. Many WSO users have found clarity during such breaks. Alternatively, you could start networking with people in industries you're curious about to test the waters before making a leap.
Ultimately, the decision comes down to what you value most: stability and financial security or the pursuit of a life that feels more authentic to you. Both paths have trade-offs, but the key is to make a choice you won't regret in hindsight.
Sources: Yes, You Are Having a Quarter Life Crisis (and it's ok), Should I leave IB for my girlfriend, who I want to marry and have a family with?, IB midlife crisis at 23… please help, Yes, You Are Having a Quarter Life Crisis (and it's ok), Should I leave IB for my girlfriend, who I want to marry and have a family with?
Quit, take a chiller job in a cheaper and nicer city and enjoy life.
Or stay a banker, marry someone and lavish them with a nice lifestyle to makeup for the terrible hours and lock yourself in.
If you're constantly going to worry about providing for the family you don't have yet, it's going to eat you alive. You seem like a smart person, so I feel like you don't have to just limit yourself to banking as the only career that can support a comfortable life. Why not look at places that could use your experience? Corp Dev is an area where you can go into, make same base (reduction in bonus) but you get stock comp and have 50 hours of work to live life. Like I get it, you're 25 and want to make a good choice for your future self, that's awesome and I'd say 80%+ of people on this forum are in the same boat. But is your future self really going to be better off working the same hours as you did when you first started (probably even more as we all know climbing up the ladder is not as chill as we all think it is)?
Like it's kinda childish to know you do not like the work but forcing yourself to do said work. If you're looking for someone to say something definitive I'll be the one to say it... look for something else. You'll be happy you left but you'll be even more grateful towards your current self for propelling your career. A recruiter told me "I know what you're currently going through is hard, but try to enjoy it. You'll look back on this moment fondly." and I believe him. Start recruiting, you never know what opportunity comes your way.
Lastly I'll say this. I guess I would say I'm also feeling what your feeling to some extent. But I'll tell you this, if you keep living in the future you'll miss experiencing life now. It's super cheesy I know, but it's true. For the first 2 months at my new job all I would think about is the future and what the future job I'll have and how I want better WLB and whatnot. But if you focus on being present the anguish and suffering you feel now is a lot less emphasized. Just do your best now, work out, eat, go for a walk. Don't completely forget about the future but try to be more current.
What you said sounds absolutely horrible. What an ungodly awful tradeoff, I would NEVER stay in your circumstance. Leave and find happiness
I knew you would wuss out and stay in banking. Why make this post? We all know you don’t have the balls to change. Now go to business school and start recruiting for banking or PE during your summer.
It's a fair point. And perhaps a good wake-up call.
It's the inevitable curse of being intelligent and perceptive, but not having any courage or conviction, which might as well be the vast majority of white collar office workers.
Dude just stay. Scale back the effort a little bit
figure out what you actually want to do. Maybe you want to start a company, climb the corporate ladder, be an investor, gun for ceo
you need a mission before you walk away
if you don’t have a good mission then you just stay like many other bankers and consultants
Look at the people above you and decide if that is what you’d like to be doing, no one here should be making that decision for you. Once you hit VP I think leaving is pretty dicey as most companies aren’t going to pay someone a half million+ to “provide comments” or reword footnotes.
I was in the same position once. Did IB for 5 years (An1 - Aso3), including 2 during the COVID years where there was pay bumps, making the decision to leave even harder.
My conclusion was that unless you actually enjoy IB (or PE), there is no point pursuing it long term. I actually wish I left IB earlier. There is a reason why the vast majority of juniors leave after 1-2 years. Time is really limited as you get older and IB is just an enormous time suck.
The way you are describing it sounds like you plan living your life for someone else (e.g. working a job you don't like for money to support a family) by staying in IB. There are millions of other ways to make money and IB is probably the least efficient (but safest) way.
Also, a major factor in my decision to leave was dating. It doesn't sound like you have a long-term GF atm. I personally found it difficult to date because of the work hours and unpredictability. Dating and meeting people takes a ton of time and the age in which you start dating can matter a lot.
Thanks for sharing. I think you captured a lot of what's going through my head. Interesting that you wish you left IB earlier.
One of the main reasons I haven't left IB is because money matter a decent amount to me (partly for the reasons I mentioned, which perhaps you rightly called out as "living your life for someone else"). To me, it's either high-risk start-up or staying in IB. A year ago, I leaning strongly towards the former. Now, I'm less sure. No disrespect to corporate development, corporate strategy, etc. but these opportunities just don't excite me. A decent chunk of my start class left after 1-2 years for these opportunities.
As far as dating goes, it feels like a double-edged sword. You're right I don't have a long-term GF, in part because of the hours + stress. On the other hand, I think the traits associated with IB (motivation, high earning) are largely positive. As someone who is not particularly tall or stand-out, I've always thought my high earning (although I have never flaunted it) as been one of my few redeeming qualities.
Ideally, I could take a month off to think about things, but that is not something my firm is supportive of. Take everything above with a grain of salt. Just some quick, confused thoughts.
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