Question about dating.

Young guy here who's a little new to this. There's this girl who I'm confident was into me a few weeks back. Unfortunately I kinda sat on it and never made a move. I asked her out recently and she said "sorry I have a boyfriend, but maybe we can go out as friends?" I said "no thank you, not interested in that."

Later that day, she came up to my floor and asked if I was serious when I asked her out. I said "yeah I was serious" and she smiled and said sorry again. We talked and laughed for minute, and then I wished her goodbye and went off to my room.

My question is, did I do the right thing? Should I have still went out with her to get closer? Is there anything I should do now? Just so unhappy about losing this one.

27 Comments
 
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lockedin

I've been in the same scenario but at Uni. She had moved on with another guy by the time I asked her out but I realised she wanted to keep me around as something to flirt around with when she was bored. Kept hitting me up randomly etc etc. I just ghosted her and went onto the next lol.

I really hate ghosting, just say you're not interested.  I found out that the cute guy I brought home from the bar worked for a nice clothing company upstairs from me at work right after he was done screaming my name. (if you're white and preppy you've owned their stuff) We said we'd have lunch the following week, but he hasn't returned my texts for a month.

The only difference between Asset Management and Investment Research is assets. I generally see somebody I know on TV on Bloomberg/CNBC etc. once or twice a week. This sounds cool, until I remind myself that I see somebody I know on ESPN five days a week.
 

Further points: A friend's wife works for a larger clothing firm even further upstairs.  Maybe I should have her fuck with him.  We were also the largest firm not to lose anybody in the WTC, so picking a low floor was almost certainly related to that.

The only difference between Asset Management and Investment Research is assets. I generally see somebody I know on TV on Bloomberg/CNBC etc. once or twice a week. This sounds cool, until I remind myself that I see somebody I know on ESPN five days a week.
 

I was going to post something very similar. OP, the "going out as friends" route she proposed is a HUGE red flag, and now you know without a doubt the lack of loyalty this girl has towards her bf. Avoid this chic at all costs and move on. 

Array
 

Did the right thing. Going friend route would string you along while having her view you as less of a man (hurts but true).

Quickest thing is to just move on to the next. Over life you will miss out on women because you didnt move fast enough, or maybe you moved too fast, or the timing wasnt right, or whatever number of reasons. Chin up, learn that you cant get a HR on every at bat, and keep improving yourself - youll be fine bud

 

Right thing. I'll still bet that it's more likely than not that she won't hit you up in the future, but you've definitely left that possibility more open by doing what you did. Her coming back up to you to ask you if you're serious adds to that idea even more. Whatever happens, don't be the dude she strings along or hits up while she's with this other guy. Imagine being with her and her doing this with someone else. 

Regardless, start a Tinder and get going. You're going to have successes and get rejected a bunch. It happens. Revel in your successes and enjoy yourself. 

 
Most Helpful

She was stroking her own ego, plain and simple.  

Girls at that age love keeping guys around they think they can control or use.  Not taking her bait was actually a win for you.  

I can't stress enough how important it is to keep this chick at arm's length - be friendly but don't act like she means too much, and make sure to see other people. You'll either end up hooking up down the line or you'll avoid being that friend she only runs to when she needs something.  Maintain your frame on this early and you'll avoid some rough dating years ahead, man.  

 

 

It just means to stand your ground and don't waiver.  If a girl knows you're into her and tries to pull the "friends" stuff, she's looking to pull your strings.  Don't give her the benefit.  You'll make sure to interact on your terms.   

Seriously, why would she want to hang with you "only as friends" when she already knows you want more?   Not cool

 

For your own sake, I'd advise you don't post personal relationship questions on this website. Not only is there a TON of missing context in any of these situations because none of us know you or your life, but you're asking 90% HS/College kids, many of whom haven't ever had a serious relationship. The ones most worth listening to usually rarely have time to post because they are actually living out their lives and careers with said SOs.

 

I wrote a country song. It was called “There’s a half a billion Chinese women”

 

It's actually 660 million chicks there

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 
Isaiah_53_5 💎🙌💎🙌💎

It's actually 660 million chicks there

Really?  I thought the one child policy really messed up the gender distribution in China. I'll have to dig up the numbers but I think it's really problematic.

The only difference between Asset Management and Investment Research is assets. I generally see somebody I know on TV on Bloomberg/CNBC etc. once or twice a week. This sounds cool, until I remind myself that I see somebody I know on ESPN five days a week.
 

I think you just made the right decision. The moment she didn't feel the same way back is the one that made me turn her off. You are still young playing Esport games and sports around your house but, take your time; you will eventually get where you wanted :D

 

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