Red Pill
Not gonna lie, my heart's been broken a few times. I’m no saint. I’ve intentionally deployed my fair share of nukes on innocent Hiroshimas. With all of life has taught me, and as I witness what my friends and family have been through, and are going through, I don’t see myself ever taking the traditional route of jumping the broom.
I’m a proud godfather to my friend’s daughter. Have a handful nieces and nephews to lean on when I’m itching to fill the void of parenting. After our play dates, I express a deep sigh of relief. Although I know nothing can replace the authenticity of having my own kids, my only fear with going at it alone is not having any successors. To hedge against this, I’m "considering" adoption. Specifically adoption at birth.
Currently in a relationship. We’re just passing WFH time tbh. There’s no foreseeable future on the horizon, she knows that. I can't stay in Denver once NY is back to full capacity. Plus I am devoted to my career.
Any other genuine lone wolves out there? Anybody feel like they’re in the same boat? Considering adoption? Or will dogs suffice? I’m thinking Husky, Great Dane x Dalmatian mix, or German Sheppard. All three is not off the table.
Is there something wrong with living life solo? How come everyone looks forward to being a husband but not a sugar daddy?
I see you got your Simp visa early...
High school sweetheart.
Have y’all dated consistently since Highschool? I’ve been dating my girlfriend since freshmen year of HS and I just haven’t seen anyone really do the same in IB. How has it worked out? Why do you think theirs no foreseeable future? The distance? Or the time needed at work?
lmao the title is "red pill" but you're an absolute cuck
Lol
Life has many paths. Just because it seems like the majority of folks choose one way, doesn't null and void your own personal choices and feelings.
The key thing is don't do what others think/expect you to do just for the sake of "pleasing" them or "fitting" in. Having a family, whether traditional ala 2 parents or some other variation is a massive life-long commitment. No matter what anyone tells you, you don't stop being a parent when the kid turns 18 or 21.
I thought I wanted kids, in part it was something instilled in me in a variety of ways, via family members, friends and society. The more I thought about it and the more I saw as I went through my late teens, 20s and 30s, not having my own kids suits me. I have children in my life, 2 god-children and currently 10 nieces, nephews and grand-nieces/grand-nephews with another grand-something due in early 2021. And I'm still young enough to foster or adopt if my maternal instincts kick in uber-late.
Yeah, sometimes I get caught up in my friends' perfect Instagram families until I'm reminded that they argue just about everyday, sacrifice way too much, cheat periodically, and consider calling it quits at least twice a year. I am fine with dwelling in a few puppy-love phases, being head over heels, and bestowing bubbly energy but realistically, stonks don't only go up. But I still indulge, right up to the point where the flame loses it spark. It's a fair exchange, we had our fun, its run its course, let's raise the white flag and be on our way.
don't get 1 dog...get a whole pack of 6....
Seeing the comment just stresses me out. 6? That's the equivalent of a widow's black cat.
ok fine...get 2 dogs....they will entertain each other when you are feeling lazy...will play with you whenever you want...and will provide unconditional love (plus, great chick magnets for when you want that)
And form a wolf pack? What are you gonna do, hunt together and defend against bear attacks?
Lol that'd actually be funny to live like a pack of wild dogs or wolves for a while.
I think you need a cat maybe not a dog. A dogs gonna be too clingy and needy for you.
Which is why I need to get all three, so they can entertain each other.
Personally, I don't think of marriage as something based on exchange value, while other kinds of relationships with women usually are anchored in it. Date for the weekend? Gives the girl a chance to show off her dress and the man to look cool in front of his friends. "Sugardaddy"? Young girl gets money while the man gets someone to pretend like they actually care for a while.
With divorce representing a higher proportion of marriage outcomes and changing social dynamics, I do find myself considering more practical valuables to exchange in a marriage. But, in an ideal world, marriage would still feel like the idea in the mid 1900s, where it's all romance and love.
I'm still holding onto the idea even though I don't have a ton of faith there are a lot of others out there with similar views, but I know for sure I cannot live having purely exchange based relationships. I AINT NO SIMP
Yup. The playing field today is definitely different than the 1900-1950s mate. I have lost faith in the idea of a traditional marriage.
That's fair. But I'm also saying the whole sugardaddy thing is cap. These young girls are nuts and I'm too cerebral to not process the fake intentions.
Thinking divorce rates are increasing is a common misconception. They peaked in the late 70s/80s and continue to decline.
Overall marriage rate however is also declining. So you have fewer people getting married per capita and fewer people getting divorced per capita; the former trend may give the impression that divorce rates are rising but that’s not the case, just fewer marriages overall.
I don't think divorce rates are rising, however I do think divorces play a more substantial role in marriage and so do things like pay gap closes and equality. Like, dating still has a ton of traditional undertones that lead into a marriage that is "progressive" then the progressive social norm of divorce leads into traditional role of government in divorces, creating wild distortions to our general perception of marriage. It's a shitty deal for men, while a sweet one for women. Government and divorce lawyers need to leave marriages alone. As men's incomes cede to more closely align with women's, women's voices become more prominent, and our individual activities land on more equal footing between men and women (sexual liberation and such for women), it doesn't make sense to continue to play the traditional roles in courts or in courting. Marriage should just be left up to a personal choice and not promoted as a cash grab for women and a gentlemanly sacrifice to men.
Wondering how many people feel this way? I'm playing the field for now but just screwing around (literally) has already lost its charm after about a year or so.
I want to get married and have kids before I turn 30 but does anyone do that nowadays? Is it impossible to find an intelligent woman with good values and a decent career?
Playing the field is definitely lonely sport, sometimes you catch a good one who takes your breath away for 2-3mo before giving her back to the market. I'm beginning to accept that I'll be alone forever. I've seen so much shit in warfare that I'm traumatized and have PTSD. Don't think I'll ever recover.
At 21, I'd guess I'm a little younger then you and sometimes I feel that way too. I'd like to get married and have a family. However, I feel like my career will get in the way of any serious relationship. Almost every person I look to, who's doing what I want and at the level I want, is divorced (sometimes more then once). I'd really like to meet someone in college and end up together, I'm not a simp, just saying it would be nice to find a great girl early on and build a life together but that's the expectation and not the rule. Like my uncle was a successful business man, and waited until his forties before marrying a 25 year old women, whom he is has 4 kids with. Even after losing the business their still together, coming up on 15 years. Maybe something like that'll happen for you, you never know. I hate the thought of being 50 and unmarried but it might be reality, on the other hand if you play the field enough you could find someone...after all everybody loves somebody sometime.
Sorry to hear that. I think you might need to see a therapist. Hope you meet a woman who can understand your pain.
Maybe not in the West but in other parts of the world it's weird if your not married/in a serious relationship by 30. I'd like to at least be getting ready for a marriage in that age range - kids can wait till mid 30's. I feel like l'll be a better father once I have myself set up nice, had some life experience. Also seriously thinking about heading to the military for a few years before pursuing finance, so if I go down that road it'll throw a wrench in my current plans for sure.
My home country, where my family comes from, used to be like that until maybe 20 years ago. My mom was perhaps the last generation to think getting married before turning 30 is a good thing.
As for the military part, I think it's a good place to be if you don't know what you want to do with your life but want to learn some good skills and discipline. My mentor did it but he recommends that people not do it if they already have an idea where they want their life to go.
This way of life is what you seek...and you can do it for decades
& with the help of Viagra, I can do it for centuries.
Not to knock adopted folks but every adoptee I’ve known has been “quirky”, with a few being legit insane. Granted these observations were drawn on a limited sample but holy fuck this article iced that cake https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/06/when-your-child-is-a-psychopath/524502/
I said "adoption at birth"
I feel you. I have the personality where I can see myself getting very annoyed at anything my SO does (single right now) and that honestly terrifies me.
Stay single!! The dating scene is infinite.
The concept of a lone wolf doesn't exist in actual wolf populations. So to start, I would recommend getting a new animal metaphor
Chill out Mr. Compliance
Reddit is that way ----->
There's nothing wrong with living solo if that's what you really want. That being said, if love/a genuine connection is what you're really after then it's worth trying for. I personally know family friends who started families really late in their lives and others even who said they were gonna be single forever get married and have kids at 50+. Life can be random, don't give up on love so easily
I'm no prophet, we'll see.
i've seen quite number of men with successful career enjoy their single lives. Living alone gives you that freedom, of course, but it also brings with it the ability to be actively independent. Living alone gives you the opportunity to explore your true self and develop a sense of being comfortable in your own skin.
Bro are you talking about getting a dog or a fucking kid... It sounded like kid for most of that.
Dogs for now. Considering adopting a newborn later on in life.
Lol had me in the first half
Adoption at birth might ease up on some of the nurture shit but intelligence and mental illness are very, very attributable to nature.
Read up on how bipolar, schizophrenia, personality disorders and addiction or impulse control issues tend to run in families. Then have a think about what proportion of the moms giving kids up are smart upstanding gals of sound mind with great foresight and decision making abilities. Yea I bet a lot of the top quality talent from your target undergrad were popping out babies to help out all of the hopeful adoptive parents right?
this is not "Red Pill"
Red Pill would be you deciding to go out and meet/ date / have sex with lots of girls simultaenously...settting up a rotation of "girlfriends" where you don't pay for dates / sex. You become a "high value man" where girls are so into you that THEY BUY YOU DRINKS.....THEY BUY YOU DINNER AND GIFTS....because THEY are desperate to have sex with YOU.
THAT is "Red Pill"
This is probably MGTOW
Embarrassing that I can speak somewhat intelligently on this, but ironchef is spot on about redpill. MGTOW is giving up on women entirely and pursing your own desires independently.
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