Rich dudes, how do you date knowing there's a possibility the girl you're seeing may only be after you for your money and nothing else?

To all my rich dudes out here, how do you avoid gold diggers when dating? Would you rather date a girl who comes from humble beginnings?

What are your problems with dating while being too rich

 
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corporate_slave

anyone with half a brain can tell the difference. and if you cant, it means youre bad with women, and her dating you for your money is a good outcome in that case

Well said.

SafariJoe, wins again!
 

I think you should be careful with your thought pattern on this one. Girls from "humble beginnings" like Balenciaga too :).

I'm not sure I've found any good ways of dealing with this - are any of them "good"??? I think it's something you just have to take on an individual basis and it always helps to set expectations from the very, very beginning.  

 
Most Helpful

I’ve found the best way to avoid gold diggers is to avoid being flashy. Dress down. Don’t wear designer clothes. Avoid expensive jewelry. Wait until you’ve gone on a few dates before you tell her exactly where you live (if you have a fancy place). Don’t overplay your job. Don’t take her to expensive restaurants. Basically, if you’re using money as a tool to attract women, you’re going to attract the type of women who are attracted to money. So you need to win women over by other means. Now you might be thinking: “They know you have money even if you don’t flash it.” … but that’s the thing about gold diggers, they are attracted not to someone who just ‘has money’ but to someone who spends it.

As for being attracted to girls from humble means, I’d phrase it a little differently. It doesn’t bother me whether a girl comes from a poor/rich family, I’m far more interested in whether her values are aligned with mine when it comes to spending. For example, I’m not a foodie and I rarely drink. I don’t particularly enjoy throwing down $200 on a meal for two, although I’ve certainly done it. If her idea of a fun night out is to go to a fancy new restaurant, we are probably misaligned. Same can be said about pretty much all spending habits (fly first class vs coach, designer clothes, fancy cars, etc.).

That said, I often find that my values align with someone who grew up with limited resources. Someone who doesn’t complain when shit happens in life but instead does what needs to be done to fix it. I find that people from humble means are often problem solvers and ‘doers’ — basically very self sufficient people who don’t just throw money at problems to make them go away (something I can be guilty of myself).

As a side note, now that I am living in Cagliari, Italy … this city is full of people like I described above and it is amazing. There is no obsession over taking instagram photos, not a single designer store in the entire city (that I recognize), the cars are mostly all old with 150.000+ kilometers, and the city is alive with people enjoying the sun and chatting until 1:00am with friends on a weeknight. These are the sorts of places to go to find a nice, grounded woman. 

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That’s not really a part of my life that I have ‘planned’ per se. If I meet the right woman and it makes sense, then sure. But if that never happens, then I’m confident I will enjoy life just as much, just through a different path.

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Most girls are after guys for money and little else. Provisioning, lifestyle, protection. Call it what you will. Men are the disposable/utilizable sex. Women don't want to bet on a prospect. They don’t want to run a race. They want hang out by the finish line and F the winners. Marriage is the means to shackle a proven winner and work him like a rented mule/plow horse. Happy Father's Day and all that shit.

 

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