Skimmed by Friends

Situation: current ibanking analyst / associate with friends from all types of backgrounds beyond finance

How often do some of your friends leach off you so you pay more of the bills when you go out for drinks? I think on seldom occasions it's fine but not every repeated occasion.

I think we all have this problem, and I'm sure we are all getting somewhat used by friends. IMO I just keep letting it happen, and hoepfully 5-10 years from now, those friends will pay it back. But who knows.

22 Comments
 

Don't do it. I mean, if you're always yelling "let's do shots, on me!" or if you're convincing your friend who doesn't want to go somewhere expensive or go out at all, then expect to pay for shit. Otherwise, why the fuck are you paying for someone else to go out and have a good time?

They aren't going to "get you back" in 5-10 years. They aren't going to stop doing it. Pay for your own drinks, don't buy rounds, and if bitch about it tell them you're not their fucking daddy.

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee
 
D MYou're not their fucking daddy.

Perfect response.

Frank Sinatra - "Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy."
 

I completely agree with what you said. Let's say your college buddy who works in nonprofit visited 3-4 weeks ago and was like don't be cheap you're a banker. Sure that's fine, but then it becomes more of a common recurrence every 3-4 weeks. Yet, maybe that's not too bad, but then you have another friend from a different group in nonprofit with the same mentality. So basically it's like every week a different friend tries to leach off you. I do think they are appreciative of it, and hopefully one of those friends 5-10 years from now will make up for it.

 
PA

I completely agree with what you said. Let's say your college buddy who works in nonprofit visited 3-4 weeks ago and was like don't be cheap you're a banker. Sure that's fine, but then it becomes more of a common recurrence every 3-4 weeks.

This. If it's someone I haven't seen in a while, then I'm more than happy to ball out, but if it becomes a regular occurrence, then fuck off.

What really pisses me off is friends that make way more then you but try to cheap out on the bill, not leave a tip, left their wallet at home, etc.

Competition is a sin. -John D. Rockefeller
 
NYU

Try this next time you're out. Tell everyone you're training for something, Tough Mudder or a marathon. And just drink club soda. See what their response is and how they treat you.

Have you tried this? I'm curious to hear how they treated you.

 

Actually my real question is this. For the unemployed and nonprofit people who ask their banker friends to chip in more, it seems logical that we should help each other out. But are these people really appreciating the gesture or just trying to get away with it, sort of like a "scam", because they can?

 

You work for yoour money, you don't work to give them your money.

In that case, wanna paypal me $200? Don't be cheap, you are a banker, thanks WSO friend.

Frank Sinatra - "Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy."
 
Best Response

Some people are appreciative, some people expect it. In my experience, usually the people asking for you to pay or assuming you will pay are the ones that expect it. If your friends working at a non-profit are making $45k/year for 50 hours of work/week, they can get a part-time job for 20 hours/week and use that extra money to cover their going out costs. They still won't be working as much as you are.

To put it in perspective, I have one friend who is in school but makes $30k/year. He lives at home, so free rent. He'll go out with people, buy someone a $3 drink at the beginning of the night, and later on say some shit like, "I bought you a drink, buy me one" and order a $10 drink. God forbid he buys you 2 or 3 drinks, you'll be paying for the rest of his night out. I have another friend who makes $35k/year, is paying off student loans, and pays for rent. 80% of the time he won't come out because he can't afford it. The other 20% of the time me and a couple of my friends will convince him to come out and buy the majority of his drinks between us because he doesn't ask for it, expect it, and is appreciative of it. I'll buy the 2nd guy drinks all night, the 1st is a cheap fuck and I won't buy him shit.

And in my experience, if you start paying for most people regularly, they will stop being appreciative of it and start to expect it. Don't pay for other people period. If you go out with people like this, don't by rounds of shots and don't let other people by you drinks. Not everyone's a cheapskate, you can probably tell who is and who isn't.

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee
 
D M

Some people are appreciative, some people expect it. In my experience, usually the people asking for you to pay or assuming you will pay are the ones that expect it. If your friends working at a non-profit are making $45k/year for 50 hours of work/week, they can get a part-time job for 20 hours/week and use that extra money to cover their going out costs. They still won't be working as much as you are.

To put it in perspective, I have one friend who is in school but makes $30k/year. He lives at home, so free rent. He'll go out with people, buy someone a $3 drink at the beginning of the night, and later on say some shit like, "I bought you a drink, buy me one" and order a $10 drink. God forbid he buys you 2 or 3 drinks, you'll be paying for the rest of his night out. I have another friend who makes $35k/year, is paying off student loans, and pays for rent. 80% of the time he won't come out because he can't afford it. The other 20% of the time me and a couple of my friends will convince him to come out and buy the majority of his drinks between us because he doesn't ask for it, expect it, and is appreciative of it. I'll buy the 2nd guy drinks all night, the 1st is a cheap fuck and I won't buy him shit.

And in my experience, if you start paying for *most* people regularly, they will stop being appreciative of it and start to expect it. Don't pay for other people period. If you go out with people like this, don't by rounds of shots and don't let other people by you drinks. Not everyone's a cheapskate, you can probably tell who is and who isn't.

I really respect people like the latter because of my background. I'd rather have no social life than be a leech with no self-respect.
 

You should not chip in more unless you routinely order more/expensive stuff than everyone else. Otherwise, its paying for someone else's shit plain and simple, I would lose respect for someone who let that happen too much.

 

what if you had 5-10 different groupies, and several worked in non-profit. so it would be different people taking advantage of you. but it seems to be happening regularly.

 

Are the hot females? If not then grow a pair and tell them to stop.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 

Just do what I do and don't have friends.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into SWANSONS.
 

Poor guy, I'll be your friend Flake

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee
 

Non accusamus et temporibus non nesciunt possimus harum. Qui suscipit facilis aut. Dolores ullam quis sed molestiae. Corporis a sunt non fuga quo sunt rerum aperiam. Ut laboriosam minima eos molestias et suscipit. Adipisci non veniam nobis et.

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Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into SWANSONS.

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