The mark of an adult

so this post is half-vent, half-discussion.

one of my biggest regrets in life was offering more time, patience, and energy to people who didn't deserve it, just for them to turn around and backstab me, on top of turning their backs on everything that they believed in once it was time to "move on" to the next big shiny thing that caught their eyes. all in the name of "growth". or whatever nonsense philosophy they stole off of instagram or twitter.

and well, i'm really tired of being embarrassed all for trying to expect the same returned to me in a relationship with the basic expectation that people should have some depth to them in their approach to one another.

so WSO, i'd like to know from your perspective, personal finances notwithstanding, what do you think is an indicator of an adult? because as we all know, not everyone grows up. and it seems that there are a lot more people who never grew up than i imagined.

i'll start. for me, the biggest sign of an adult is possessing a sense of depth or subtlety. this characteristic usually indicates someone who has gone through their own fair share of life experiences and were able to come to terms with life as being beyond them. it's proof that people have undergone both time and learning in their life, which are characteristic of a person who has reached maturation (by definition of maturation -- something that requires advancement through earlier stages).

having depth and subtlety usually allows people to form deeper connections with others because they are able to see things beyond the scope of themselves. they're able to understand the darker side of others without judgement or scrutiny and accept that there's no competition to maintain a clean public optic as possible (which ironically backfires on people who go to this extreme). in doing so, they're able to understand the humanity within as large a reach of people as possible. this is because their life experiences have honed their ability to actually determine character in others, and usually representing someone when they're going through rough times is not a good way to determine character.