The Real Banker's Drink

Real bankers drink drinks with the following: Three ingredients or less. No sugar unless paired with absynthe. Rye whiskey, scotch, brandy, and aged bourbon as base spirit only. Gin is acceptable only with vermouth in dry martinis or in a gimlet. One cube of ice only. So next time you order at M&H, D&C, Pegu, Rose, AS, etc. get the following:

  • McCallan > 12 on the rocks
  • Neat brandy/cognac
  • Sazerac
  • Manhattan
  • Old fashioned

This is what pussies who can't hold their liquor order:

  • beer (does this look like mcsorleys or mj armstrong to you?)
  • gin n tonic (you won't get any tail ordering a boring ass drink like that)
  • vodka cranberry (homo)
  • rum and coke (don't bend down -- we'll all be able to see your huge gaping vagina)
  • vodka tonics (haven't you graduated from vodka yet??)
  • wine (raging queer)
  • sidecar (stop trying too hard)

P.S. we all know ibhopeful532 and people at Piper drink cosmos with umbrellas.

95 Comments
 

This is so stupid and immature. You drink whatever the fuck you want no matter who you are and where you are. Hey OP are you seriously like this in real life ? hahaha this is hilarious

 

didn't see your post junkbondswap, my bad

"Buyside guys and men in general order and drink whatever they want"

100 % true and said in a more nice way than me, ha ha. But yea come on, drink whatever you want, stop being so insecure

 

wow. i mean, i might give my friend some crap for ordering a girly drink, but actually worrying about your drink to this degree...sad

 
Bondarbthis post really is pathetic.

....and there is nothing cool about drinking a Sazerac unless you are in the 19th century and there is nothing cool about drinking neat cognac unless you are a rapper....

You obviously don't know what you are talking about so hit the brakes, pal. Cognac is the king of spirits and the fact that the only thing you ever got to drink was a Hennessy VSOP doesn't mean you comprehend half of what it is all about. Get those fingers out of your ass and google "La Pouyade". + don't forget to collect that unemployment check on the way down to the internet cafe.

 

Unfortunately I am highly allergic to wheat. Know what makes me a man? I drink plenty of whiskey and/or beer anyway. Ever have a hangover? Trust me, you don't know a hangover.

Anyway, drink whatever the hell you want. Self-confidence is about being comfortable with yourself and with whatever you happen to enjoy, not what you saw on Mad Men.

 

Anybody who orders a single malt on the rocks is a giant fucking idiot. Ice lowers the sensitivity of your tastebuds, you tard.

Macallan's okay. I prefer strongly peated Islays (Ardbeg, for example)

As far as other drinks go, I can enjoy everything from a Cosmo to Wild Turkey neat.

Only closet cases worry about being seen as homos. Drink whatever tastes good to you.

 

I prefer my single malts neat as well, but a single cube allows the melt to release addititional tones and flavors from the scotch, so that is usually an acceptable thing. If you have a glass half filled with ice and you are drinking it like Dewar's, then yes, that is a waste of good scotch. I like beer and gin and tonic, and all of the fru fru drinks mentioned above as well, but I do love scotch. I don't care for Glenlivet or Glenfiddich.

 
Gordon.GekkoI prefer my single malts neat as well, but a single cube allows the melt to release addititional tones and flavors from the scotch, so that is usually an acceptable thing. If you have a glass half filled with ice and you are drinking it like Dewar's, then yes, that is a waste of good scotch. I like beer and gin and tonic, and all of the fru fru drinks mentioned above as well, but I do love scotch. I don't care for Glenlivet or Glenfiddich.

From what I've heard (and so far it works well) a few drops of water in neat Scotch is best and helps to open up the flavor, much like what you said with the single cube, but it doesn't overdo it.

Jack: They’re all former investment bankers who were laid off from that economic crisis that Nancy Pelosi caused. They have zero real world skills, but God they work hard. -30 Rock
 

grain and gasoline

********************************* “The American father is never seen in London. He passes his life entirely in Wall Street and communicates with his family once a month by means of a telegram in cipher.” - Oscar Wilde
 

Scotch tastes like horse piss why would anyone drink it? I'd rather drink $5 plastic bottle vodka...

You don't even know your own drinks...you claim "no sugar unless paired with absynthe" and yet an Old fashioned contains:

* 4.0 cl. Bourbon, Scotch or Rye whiskey * 1 sugar cube (WHOOPS) * 2 dashes Angostura bitters * 1 splash soda water
 

"Mojito. I don't think it's a gay drink. Mo-ji-to... "

Jack: They’re all former investment bankers who were laid off from that economic crisis that Nancy Pelosi caused. They have zero real world skills, but God they work hard. -30 Rock
 

Jesus. What the fuck is going on here? Do any of you have am mind of your own or does every fucking thing have to be vetted on WSO before its actually done.

Get whatever it is that you usually drink, whether its beer, a cocktail, or wine. I've seen serious posts on here including: "what do bankers keep in their desk?" and "what kind of underwear do bankers wear? boxers? briefs? boxer-briefs? where do you buy them from?"

WTF is wrong with you people? Have you no common sense, personality, or backbone? Is everything about fitting in and being exactly like everyone else?

For fucks sake.

Its ironic that people think this is how they will seem like they belong. No one wants to be around a fucking tool that is constantly trying to see what other people do before they do it themselves. And you answer you actual question... as long as you're not getting something ridiculous its fine... ex. don't order an Irish car bomb. Get a beer, or wine, or whiskey sour, or tequila on the rocks, or jack and coke, or anything the fuck else. It doesn't matter.

 
Best Response
Marcus_HalberstramJesus. What the fuck is going on here? Do any of you have am mind of your own or does every fucking thing have to be vetted on WSO before its actually done.

Get whatever it is that you usually drink, whether its beer, a cocktail, or wine. I've seen serious posts on here including: "what do bankers keep in their desk?" and "what kind of underwear do bankers wear? boxers? briefs? boxer-briefs? where do you buy them from?"

WTF is wrong with you people? Have you no common sense, personality, or backbone? Is everything about fitting in and being exactly like everyone else?

For fucks sake.

Its ironic that people think this is how they will seem like they belong. No one wants to be around a fucking tool that is constantly trying to see what other people do before they do it themselves. And you answer you actual question... as long as you're not getting something ridiculous its fine... ex. don't order an Irish car bomb. Get a beer, or wine, or whiskey sour, or tequila on the rocks, or jack and coke, or anything the fuck else. It doesn't matter.

Because I want..to fit..IN.

 
Marcus_HalberstramJesus. What the fuck is going on here? Do any of you have am mind of your own or does every fucking thing have to be vetted on WSO before its actually done.

Get whatever it is that you usually drink, whether its beer, a cocktail, or wine. I've seen serious posts on here including: "what do bankers keep in their desk?" and "what kind of underwear do bankers wear? boxers? briefs? boxer-briefs? where do you buy them from?"

WTF is wrong with you people? Have you no common sense, personality, or backbone? Is everything about fitting in and being exactly like everyone else?

For fucks sake.

Its ironic that people think this is how they will seem like they belong. No one wants to be around a fucking tool that is constantly trying to see what other people do before they do it themselves. And you answer you actual question... as long as you're not getting something ridiculous its fine... ex. don't order an Irish car bomb. Get a beer, or wine, or whiskey sour, or tequila on the rocks, or jack and coke, or anything the fuck else. It doesn't matter.

Exactly! Just be yourself and stop trying to fit in. If you keep pretending to be someone else others will notice and think that you are a tool.

I personally would order some kind of 12 year old single malt scotch neat, but only because that is what I drink at home. If you order that only to "fit-in" it may turn out that your MD drinks only single malt and asks you what's your favorite single malt and you reply Johnny Walker; well then you just made a tool out of yourself.

Simply order what you would normally order when you go out with your friends, and stop trying to analyze everything you do. The easiest way to get a FT offer is to be yourself, because you will be more confident in yourself and people do notice that.

 

This is a pretty absurd question, but the answer is - anything that isn't pink/red.

  • Capt K
- Capt K - "Prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. If you want to make ambitious people waste their time on errands, bait the hook with prestige." - Paul Graham
 

Also, nothing with more than two ingredients. That is a life rule in general if you have a penis, I don't care if you drive a garbage truck. - Capt K

- Capt K - "Prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. If you want to make ambitious people waste their time on errands, bait the hook with prestige." - Paul Graham
 
captkAlso, nothing with more than two ingredients. That is a life rule in general if you have a penis, I don't care if you drive a garbage truck. - Capt K

disagree-- a good margarita is great (real ones with 100% agave tequilla, cointreau, and fresh lime juice), not one of those bullshit margs

i usually drink ketal and soda, jack and coke, or margaritas in the warmer months

 

Honestly, when going out for drinks you have to use common sense. You don't want to be throwing back shots - unless they buy them. Keep in mind that the point of your meeting is recreational; but you don't want to come across as a raging alcoholic nor a puritanical bible thumper.

 

Depends on your style, hombre...

Some decent options:

Premium beer Vodka / Soda Vodka / Cranberry Gin / Tonic ... or a nice bottle of Lafite

 
Black Tooth Grin

So what do you do? -I work for an investment banking firm. Oh okay; you are like my brother, he works for Edward Jones. -No, a college degree is required in my profession

Reality hits you hard, bro...
 

Seriously, what's up with all the lemmings these days? I understand it's important to "fit in with the team" when you're on the sell-side, but you guys do realize that society still puts some value on individuality. Just order whatever drink you like best. Why not? If I told you that all bankers drank cat piss at social functions, would you ask the bartender for some too just so that you could confirm?

Anyway, I'm not suggesting that you drink feline urine (but you can and you should if you really want to fit in with all the "cool" bankers) -- just trying to point out the absurdity of the original question.

​* http://www.linkedin.com/in/numicareerconsulting
 

Drink what you like. It's the honest truth. You're drinking it, no one else is, so why order what you don't like. Some general guidelines though are to avoid shots, drinks that require multiple parts (ex. Jaegerbombs and Irish Car Bombs) and extremely obscure or snobbish drinks, such as ordering yourself a Bijou (3 Parts Gin, 1 Part Yellow Chartreuse and 1 Part Sweet Vermouth, layered in a Pousse-Cafe style of drink)

Also, regarding the Margaritas, iambateman, I have yet to find a good bar for a Margarita. I agree that you need to use 100% pure agave tequila, cointreau and lime juice, but try it with a dash of orange juice. It brings out the cointreau and makes it a bit more prominent to help balance out the tequila and the lime, as opposed to being an afterthought.

Personally, when it comes to liquor, I drink scotch, jack, and bourbon in the winter, and rum and coke, mojitos, gin and tonics and margaritas in the summer. Martinis are an all year round thing for me (Gin, Shaken over ice in order to bruise it, on the dry side with a dash of olive juice), as is Beer.

 
darkhorseHow often does it happen that you get completely hammered with your firm? I'm talking Irish car bombs, countless shots, and downing beers... Has this ever happened to any of you or heard of it?

Ps don't give comments like "that's not a good idea" because we all know that.

Never been hammered at a company=sponsored event, but I definitely have been very drunk when out at a club or bar with co-workers, primarily analysts and summer analysts.

 

What do you mean by "Getting hammered with your firm"? Are you talking about at a firm sponsored event? If that's the case, then no, I've never been hammered with my firm. I know it's happened, because I have stories of a lot of coworkers from after our holiday party and summer bash.

If you're talking about have you ever gone out with coworkers for drinks after work and drank yourself silly, then yes, I have. In fact, I've seen many of my coworkers drunk at one point or another on a Thursday night drinking session.

 

At our team christmas parties lots of people from analyst through MD got drunk and in a few cases very drunk, though that was London which I think is a bit more liberal when it comes to drink and drunkeness. They were giving out free shots all night to everybody.

 

ideating, I would, but I have had a number of hit or miss epxeriences at bars when ordering a dry dirty martini. Even ordering a dry martini has been a bit of a hastle. The problem is that unless I'm very specific on how I like it, most bartenders screw it up. There are a few exceptions that come to mind, but for the most part, that's why I specify how I like it.

Does my firm ever all go out and get hammered? Absolutely, at least 3 times a year - summer party, the night before superday (with the candidates) and the Christmas party. All 3 nights usually begin with some pretty heavy drinking during dinner, and end with one of the MDs throwing down the corporate card at a bar and everyone out of control by 2am. Makes for some awkward moments the following day, but everyone embraces it.

On a separate note, the analysts go out drinking together all the time - everyone spends so much time together, it's impossible for work and social life to not cross over.

  • Capt K
- Capt K - "Prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. If you want to make ambitious people waste their time on errands, bait the hook with prestige." - Paul Graham
 

frieds, agreed re margs. el parador on 34/2 does a pretty good job though but as with most places, youve gotta specify for a decent tequilla or theyll put in cuervo especial/sauza

 

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- Capt K - "Prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. If you want to make ambitious people waste their time on errands, bait the hook with prestige." - Paul Graham
 

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