Thought i'd just give a quick space for anyone to throw out whatever shit has been bothering / stressing them out this week. Or exciting them. Idk. Here is WSO therapy time. Let it out boys and gals, for all the toxicity we throw on this forum, we are in this together and here for each other. Yeah.
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I’m your most underpaid banker here and it’s an absolute shitshow.
~100k total comp as a 1st year analyst.
Regional boutique working 50-80 hrs on any given week.
NEPOTISM IS EVERYWHERE. HATE IT. I work under a complete simp who is also a b1ch. No morale grounds, rude/abrasive, and can’t pick up social cues (not frat at all). Extremely creepy towards women and abrasive to men.
The senior lacks any morale guidance and disrespects everyone in the office.
Separately, have a few mandates on track to close by EOY so bonus should be better. I also woke up to a nice interest dividend from my savings account of $0.02 so excited about that.
Curious why you took the job anyway? $100K at any IB shop seems terrible. And surely you could have asked around alumni when you were recruiting what the hours look like.
In any case, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Sounds rough. Hopefully you can lateral / leave soon
Didn’t come from any financial background nor did I have any peers in the industry. Studied economics in hopes of HF recruiting (didn’t understand recruiting cycles and what it took). Didn’t join any IB clubs at uni. We will call myself a late bloomer.
Currently really versed in the industry and culture of IB, though I lack the modeling background (current role doesn’t require much modeling).
So to answer your question, it was the only bone thrown my direction and it gave me decent experience in terms of the M&A process (solid amount of deal exposure). I’m also currently taking modeling courses offline to expand on my experience. Hoping to couple my newly developed modeling skills with current experience to lateral or land a LMM PE gig (though I’d rather become an operator in a niche space).
You should be reporting this creepy behavior
To who??? Remember.. Lots of nepotism at the firm.
I’m tired of being the only normal person among a team of autistic colleagues. They don’t drink at happy hours, can’t make jokes beyond a G rating without offending them, and their general personality is 100% work focused. It’s isolating and it sucks.
I think, in that particular group, you classify as the abnormal one, my friend.
I don’t personally drink, so that I understand. But everything else sounds like a drag.
you in position to change groups?
If you come to work expecting to find your best friend, then you're the weirdo. Not everyone wants to become buddy buddy let's hang out on the weekends with their colleagues.
Not everyone is a socially awkward misfit. God forbid you aren’t a robot and attempt to develop any semblance of acquaintanceship with your colleagues.
facts
Welcome to gen Z.
are any of them autistic WOMEN and if so can I bangem
Mental health is on its last legs. Feel like I’m one more email or comment away from blowing up. Buy-side (or any) recruiting is dry at the moment. Can’t even take sick leave as it’s frowned upon and basically positions you well to get pushed out - what a messed-up culture that is eh.
That’s terrible to hear, man.
currently recruiting for FT from MFin and the game is drier than The Sahara.
hopefully it passes soon. In the mean time, try to incorporate some activity - hobby, drink with a friend, exercise, etc. - that brings you joy into your everyday life and gives some crutches to those last legs.
hope you feel better!
The banker im supporting is a total lunatic and I keep a file on him with plans to release it when he tries to fuck me over
Lmao what's in the file
Quotes mostly. He’s a mad shit talker. As well as some policy violations I’ve observed
There was an Analyst in my class who kept a separate folder in Outlook because his VP was a lunatic (emails that were borderline HR violations).
Ultimate revenge? After he left for buyside (same sector), the VP acted like they were best friends and tried to reach out. Analyst pal showed him the receipts (he printed the emails) and the VP was dead silent on the call.
In an absolute sweat shop of a group (routinely work 14+ hours 7 days a week, no protected Saturdays) and I’m mentally, physically and emotionally dying. I’m a shell of my former self, and I love the coverage and the people I work with, but the hours and expectations are soul crushing. I recently signed an offer to jump ship to PE and I fear I’ll be in for more of the same (hours wise) and I’ll burn out and won’t be able to handle it.
Trying to push on, hold out hope and pray my PE group will be better, but I am massively nervous I’m in for more of the same and will be so jaded I’ll leave finance altogether after working so hard to get here. Definitely some champagne problems to have but my God is a lot to deal with.
You and me both brother. Same situation as you - just contemplating my life every day thinking about if this is really it. Shit man I feel like I am totally wasting away. Relationships fading away slowly, the worst physical shape I have ever been in, mental health teetering. I really do not think I have it in me to be a corporate drone for the rest of my life for slightly above average pay.
inb4 the jerkoff interns come in talking about how banking is a great career where you make industry defining deals - fuck off
Currently recruiting for FT, do you guys regret the decision? Do they pros outweigh the cons? What career should / would you have picked if not IB? Sorry to hear what you two are going through, hope it gets better - appreciate any help. Thanks
PE is likely to be a bit of a perspective shift. The sell side has always been like that, it is soul crushing becuase you aren't really in control of your destiny. I won't say the buyside is better but it is more manageable becuase you are now in control of your destiny. Granted at your position you won't be but the direct impact of your work will be more tangible.
With deals drying, feels like there is 0 learning. Just non stop pitches and random meetings which usually just require random scrambling for creds, refreshing market among random shit.
College senior trying to balance part time job, recruiting for FT and school. Networking calls haven’t been going great as people don’t respond or I’ve had people flake on me multiple times. Barely opportunities to apply to and the waiting is becoming annoying
What about your internships?
Given I’ve only gotten far with one company it seems like they don’t matter that much to companies. But i would have thought they would be somewhat relevant but idk, probably time to start expanding my search beyond just credit research and fixed income roles
Have been the only POC / Minority in my groups since childhood (think frriends, neighborhood, school, etc.), never really hit me in a negative way until joining finance (IB/PE).
I understand the arguments about diversity recruiting and how it's broken yada yada...but I feel like even me, being very "whitewashed" and graduating with honors, top house in college, athletic, having a hot blonde girlfriend with C cups, etc... I still get the side eye / treated differently by some of my colleagues at work.. Mind you I am very kind and easy going with people at work. It demoralizes/depresses me, makes going into work even more challenging, feels isolating...you get the idea. It's not enough to make me leave the industry, but is finance this upset about diversity recruiting? Me, being a very whitewashed minority, feels this way. What will those minorities who stay true to their roots/culture and can't fully assimilate feel like? How will they be treated? Forget me, I just get upset when I think of some of the minorities I know who are much more intelligent than I am but lack some of the pompous normalcies in finance, inherently, because they are non-white..
I’m very interested in your story, please PM me.
Well if you want to shake the sterotype I would suggest you challenge some of your peers to something that requires some mental rigor. Is this unfair? Sure, but if the goal is to get them to stop seeing you as the diversity hire then fucking beat their ass at something. Hell, I would tell your gf that you are going out with the guy from the office and your goal is to pick up as many numbers as possible. Then challange the guys at the office to do that as well.
Just want to provide the obligatory perspective of it gets better. I remember my painful analyst days and the lack of sleep, isolation, and general disrespect plays tricks on your mind. Gotta remember why you are doing what you are doing and that it is temporary.
I think a good analogy is IB is a lot like studying in high school. You put your head down and push through some bullshit and some days you are like why am I even doing this?
Then one day you pick your head up and see the kid who was in your freshmen English class and he works at a gas station and has 3 kids with different mothers and you are like “woah, didn’t realize our lives have become so different over the years” At the end of IB, you get access to roles that other people frankly never have access to, or have to get really lucky to be considered for. It still is hard making decisions, but you have options to work less hours and make more than most other people, make less and find something you find more interesting or fulfilling, or make even more money doing something you find equally as unfulfilling as banking or more fun than it.
I also wouldn’t underestimate the learning curve and adjusting. There often comes a point after a few years where the fire drills and abuse just gets normalized and it doesn’t phase you as much. Many of the late nights and Bs becomes predictably unpredictable, so it’s less bad.
Hang in there guys! Lot of fun times around the corner and you are putting in the work now to buy your future self more options than you realize. Looking back at IB a few years later, feels a lot like remembering high school for me. I worked hard because I knew it was the right thing to do, but I had no idea how much it would change my life in the future and the doors it would open.
I want to buy a house in Connecticut or Westchester, but the best rate I can get is 6.5%. Sigh. Can’t I catch a break?
Just have your dad buy it for you
But he won’t! He says I only get 200k to help with down payment and that’s it. Says otherwise I’ll never learn not to gamble :(
That’s an incredible rate given mortgages have spiked to 8%
Can’t trust nationwide mortgage rates median or mean). There is variance around that data point.
I fucking HATE hosting clients/LPs in office. Especially old men. Fuck off, shut up. With your big fucking mouth. Just.shut.up. And stop touching shit, why are they always touching shit? Fingering through papers, opening drawers, "what's this?! what's that?! Project Eagle, sounds intense!" These guys are fucking babies - need constant attention. Of all of the soul-sucking work a junior in finance has to do, my least favorite task to be stuck with by my bosses is providing 4 hours of narcissistic fuel for old men who need me to marvel at their genius in a conference room until they run out of energy and go back to their hotel rooms.
This is worse than hosting my 80 year old in-laws.
I see you do not understand the business at all.
Or he understands it quite well and it's a massive soul suck, lol. Complaining about the job =/= not understanding it.
Time for baby proof locks
Last couple years of IB have taken a toll and despite enjoying the role, I’m tired all the time with deep puffy eyebags. My skin quality overall looks like shit, my physique is not as good as I’d like, and don’t feel as strong or energetic as I used to be. I’m just on autopilot, going with inertia. Do not have energy or time to really figure out what I want in life or even what I want to do next. Only good thing I have going for me is working out regularly and have some good friends. Not fully committed to exceeding expectations at this role but not fully committed to leaving either.
Have a great team, good culture, reasonable MDs (only ask for work that is required to win mandate and successfully execute deal, no more no less), interesting sector, and reasonable workload given activity (80 hours a week more or less). I should be dancing with joy but just don’t know if I have the energy to continue down this path.
Spent all week doing lateral interviews to get an analyst seat in a better shop. Currently based on west coast at a regional boutique.
I’ve done zoom interviews with 9 firms this week in between my deals, and the senior associate on one of my deals is super angry at my lack of progress on our CIP, as I’ve essentially only built three slides over the past three days and is sending me emails every 30 minutes to check in on my slides. He even called me during one of my zoom interviews and I wasn’t able to push to voicemail because my phone was on a table far from my desk. Probably got dinged on that interview.
I would work harder in my current team but my group still pays 90k base salaries for analyst 2 and we’ve only sent 2 kids to buy side over the past three years, yet we work over 70 hours a week mostly on pitches and marketing books and I feel as if I haven’t learned much over the past few months despite all the hours I’m working every day
Consider yourself in a better position than me😂
For u, feels for this thread.
how did you manage to get lateral interviews? cold email?
Took phenomenal job offer in city I don't know anyone. Really worried about how to go about making new friends when you don't know a single person. I'm pretty sociable and can do fine if I know a person or two, as its much easier to go out and meet new people with someone else as opposed to completely alone. I also hate using dating apps and don't really want to make "friend's" through that.
For those of you have moved to a new city, how did you go about meeting people platonically?
I actually have some experience with this. It really isn’t that difficult. You will meet people at your job and be able to go out with / socialize with them. When you are out you will meet other people. Depending on the amount of time on your hands, you can also join a local sports league or club for something you are interested in. You’ll be fine if you try to socialize.
Thanks! I was in the same position this past summer and had been assuming I would just start by socializing with the other interns and go from there, but the team I happened to be staffed on only had one other intern who was fully remote (and I didn’t know until I signed a lease and already moved into the city) so that was a bust. Kinda got me worried about full time, but I know in for FT program I’ll be coming in with a cohort of other new hires and be working closely with them, so hopefully can avoid repeating this past summer.
Too ugly to even make 1 woman have feelings for me or want to be in a LTR with me. In mid-20s and completely given up hope.
To all the attractive men there, never ever underestimate the power of your attractiveness. It might be one of the main things that gave you a good life.
"Being single and having money," he wrote, "was like standing 6 feet 4 with a full head of hair."
- Jack Welch
Keep grinding, make some money, stay in shape, don't get too jaded and eventually demographic and socioeconomic forces will work in you favor.
May seem shallow, but try to get into great shape. I mean 1 percent shape. jacked and shredded. For me and other people I know it has pretty amazing effects on your own self esteem, because you accomplished something difficult and you have discipline. Especially when you get that aesthetic V shape, woman will notice and probably also your new more positive self image.
That's surprising. Telling a girl you're an investment banker should be more than enough for her to atleast take interest in you. Unless ofcourse, your personality is dull.
I know so many ugly af dudes with really attractive females and none of them have a trust fund or are really doing anything that special. They are all really fun guys that can make girls laugh and have solid careers and stay in shape. You gotta learn how to pick up the other parts of your life. Be in shape, have confidence, learn good humor, etc. One of my buddies is ugly as hell and isn't tall and he's constantly been cycling through 8's to 10's for the past decade. He used to date one of the hottest girls I've ever seen that's been featured on several social media accounts and ended up cheating on her with one of her attractive best friends. Not trying to say that's sick or anything, but really think about how hard it is to pull that off for anyone and the guy is like a 4 or 5 on attractiveness. If he can do that, then there's no reason you can't find a nice girl. Difference is that he wins on his personality and girls love hanging out with him because he's fun. He makes good money but not 7 figures or anything.
Current student so this is a non major issue compared to other posters. Wake up daily hating myself and tired of being stupid and poor but I still can't manage to study for exams consistently well. I crushed my midterm 2 weeks ago and now have 2 on Friday that i am underprepared for. Feel like I'll have this constant swing of binary results that have ruined my mental health and any chance at working in banking. I feel like i have let down my family and the only reason i justify that i don't off myself is because my parents are getting old and need someone to take care of them. Overall just using this forum as motivation and keeping me mentally sane but then facing the reality that i am not good enough has me in a vicious cycle of inspiration, anger and sadness. Thankfully its nice to hear other success stories to keep me going on my darkest days because there doesn't seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel. Rant ended, needed to get off this my chest
DM if you want to talk.
DM if you want to talk. I broke in very non-traditionally. Keep your head up.
What’s your non-traditional way?
i am a MFin with an engineering before this. Would be inspirational to hear any nontraditional story.
I never had a friend since high school. I’ve changed uni three times and covid ruined my social life. I am addicted to video games and don’t know what to do to get out of my misery. I have literally no friends at all, and I’m disconnected from my coworkers.
Im afraid because I’ve made my life peace with it. I’m terrified of aging and dying alone.
DM if you want to talk.
Out of curiosity, what games? Feel free to DM me if you want to talk
Significant recurring hip and back injuries which have essentially kept me bed-ridden on and off for 2 years, gained 50lbs, and overall health is in the shitter.
Positive..... getting paid more because I may as well work if I can't move for shit.
Can my VP stop asking "How's the data looking?" four fucking seconds after we gain access.
The hemorrhoid going wild is really ruining my week
Should get that checked out it could be colon cancer if you have it for more than a few days
Ignore title. Currently a 1A Analyst in a small boutique. Underpaid by 30ish% all in relative to street. Unfortunately despite having really good internships, got unlucky in this hiring market. Also networking isn’t a thing in this country.
But heaven forbid - I work the same M&A hours for this low pay - we have more mandates coming in than we can handle and management only cares about cutting costs and getting a 2x growth y-o-y on fees. Little to no support for hiring full time analysts. My associate is a lazy fuck who just goes around the office chatting with people all day. Unfortunately quite a few people know who useless he is but firing someone in this country is nearly impossible.
It gets that bad where he simply wastes time chatting all day and going home early while I need to deliver way beyond my pay grade pulling all nighters, missing meals and then having to still turn up early in the office the next day. Have spoken to this with my MD/D but they just keep referring to the “learning opportunity” I have. Like what the fuck?
Praying everyday for the market to pick up again and I’m out of this hell hole. Also fuck senior management who live off our hard work and refuse to make even a half equitable distribution of profits as bonuses. They have a special place in hell waiting for them.
If your management has a 2x YoY growth targets you need to be looking for a new role. They are too fucking stupid to be in this business, that is pretty much an impossible growth rate for a services business like IB if the firm is of any appreciable size going into that period.
this
I feel depressed and just like a huge pussy in general. On paper, everything's going great in my life, but deep down I feel empty, afraid, and somewhat directionless.
I signed an offer w/ a top MMHF for next summer, which I should be proud of coming from a finance non-target and having little relevant experience. Maybe it's this forum or my true passions, but to some degree I feel like that I'm an idiot for going into HFs without being a huge hardo for public markets in general (which gets into 1) do I like HFs? and 2) what do I do if I wash out?). I get in the grand scheme of things it's just an internship and I can re-recruit for FT, but markets are tough and my school's network blows.
On the personal side of things, I feel so lonely - which makes no sense. I have a close group of friends and a girlfriend who loves me, but somehow I don't really feel connected? Things sorta fell apart w/ the gf awhile back because of fights, and I don't really feel much for her anymore while she still is super into me. But at the same time, I'm also terrified of leaving bc she's the only partner I've ever had and the only person I've gotten comfortable enough to have sex with (I've gotten other girls in bed, sometimes even the same one multiple times, but paralyzing amounts of performance anxiety just takes over and I have no clue how to cure it).
I should maybe add that I had pretty bad self-esteem and was majorly depressed all throughout middle/high school, so my perception of dating and myself in being able to pull is also pretty damaged. (This is compounded by the fact that my school is terrible to date at)
If performance anxiety is erectile disfunction, get viagra. Can happen to younger guys. There shouldn’t be any shame.
Ate so many brownies that I sh*tted green
An analyst in my class is tell me my communication ability is weak. I do not understand why he say this statement. I am think my communication is clear, and I have graduate from an university in north east. He is talk to me like I am less than him
Mom just went into hospice, things progressed way sooner than planned and really came out of nowhere fast. Told my boss (on a tiny team at a large bank), and literally called/texted/emailed all weekend asking for updates on decks / deliverables without asking how anything was at home or if i had to deal with anything at home. I didn’t answer any of it and re explained the situation late Sunday night and they said sorry but you’re good to have it all for tomorrow first thing? Genuinely wanted to make me leave banking and quit on the spot. What the fuck. Been an emotional wreck just sitting on my couch with my family, can’t focus for shit on work and i won’t stop getting blown up on dumb random stuff. Its very hard as it is to communicate with anyone right now let alone deal eth all these random “urgent phone calls
My mom is also in hospice with severe dementia. She can barely talk - she speaks only a few words every 1 - 2 weeks. She cannot walk after breaking her hip earlier this year. But, overall she seems happy and the nurses note she perks up for when my Dad and I visit every day.
I’ve sacrificed my career to help take care of my parents and have no regrets. I just ask myself if I’m doing God’s work and know that everything will work out in the end.
Prayers for your mom.
That’s terrible…honestly that place sounds hellish. I don’t understand how some people lack compassion. Sorry to hear about your mother, stay strong and be there for family. Family takes priority.
Will speak for myself only but if I was in your situation I would 100% quit if I am unable to take any sort of leave. You will have multiple jobs in your life but only one mom
[]
I’m sorry that you’re going through this. It will get better. Honestly it COULD have been worse if you stayed in IB because of the further deterioration to mental health. I quit for the same reason.
Any other reasons the new job was so terrible?
Super isolated grinded the past few years at my job and the market has dried up. Super slow few deals that we are working on might die at any moment. Small shop only person in twenties everyone else is like 40+. Boss is narcotic has me staying late when there is no work to do (fine staying late as long as working on something). Have been actively trying to get to NYC for past few months and job market has been rough (have applied to 300+ jobs). Friends all work remote and have drifted apart for the most part. Girlfriend is in a different continent.
I'm 28 and I'm at a crossroads in life and I'm terrified. Went to good universities in the uk but only started working in audit when I was 24 because I grew up sheltered and spoiled and didn't realise the competitiveness of the world. I hate audit so fucking much, my last 4 years have sucked donkey balls in every way.
I've sent my cv to several people and they think I have a good shot at a yale/Dartmouth mba to get myself out of this mess. The US debt is really really scary but the bigger risk is being stuck in audit, especially in this economy where consulting/finance/deal flow is in perpetual decline. What a horrible life that would be. Though yeah, who knows when I'll actually have the lifestyle I want.
Speaking of that, I obviously had a pretty good childhood in Australia and switzerland and it all feels so far away now, who knows when/if I can have kids, I can't even imagine how much it would cost (not that I think sydney is really replicable in the US anyway), it is a lifetime away, minimum 40 years old. Right now I had to decline moving into a 2 bed flatshare out of my 3 bed flatshare because the increase in rent would've swallowed up literally my entire pay rise here in London. This is what really scares me deep down. This MBA idea has breathed new life into me though, I can finally envisage a future at MBB/BB IBD where I can put a reasonably comfortable life together. We'll see.
There are so many great opportunities beyond MBB/BB IB. I would refrain from putting all your eggs in one basket, because there are many factors you cannot control.
KUDOS to you for creating this thread! I am actually no longer in investment banking, but boy did my mental health take a toll from that job. I used to work with people who thought they were on top of the world because of this prestigious job at a prestigious firm and boy did their emails just scream insecurityyyy, I would read it and it would just literally screaaaaammm that word. I feel like I grew a mad thick skin though.
Any chance you remember and can quote parts of the email. Your comment piqued my interest haha.
No since it's been months since I left, how so haha
-
Forgot to eat breakfast this morning. Uber eats guy arrived half an hour late for dinner and fries came out soggy and cold
PE Analyst, former M&A intern at a top group. For all the talk of a meritocracy in finance, and I have worked with some outstanding colleagues, it is amazing how 99% of the opportunities for top M&A/PE roles go exclusively to rich kids (or diversity candidates, not saying this doesn't have a place either FYI).
I always grew up with the impression and appreciation that I came from a 'privileged' middle class background in the UK, grew up in a nice town, went to a very nice state school, dad worked in a lower level ER career etc, but man if you're not an explicit diversity candidate the odds are super stacked against you starting from just getting interviews. Went to top universities and couldn't even afford lunch in the cafeteria in my undergrad, as it's priced for the 70% of international students who's social life also hits different. Then again in my masters outside of London, everyone's parents seemed to be either a Goldman / McK partner, CEO of a large company, or a billionaire (literally). Then got to a top M&A and suddenly started meeting multiple people who studied at Eton (never thought I would meet one in my life).
The cherry on the cake is how non-diversity hires need multiple internships to land a good seat in London, for which you compete with 27 year old rich Europeans with 2 years of M&A / PE experience through off-cycles before even starting full time. No problem for international / rich kids as financial security is not a concern, they have the backing of their families for as long as they need to get this experience. And I always wondered why London salaries seemed so low compared to cost of housing, especially now. I came to realise that most of the people getting into top seats don't even need their salary to pay rent, their parents just pay. FYI have met people who think their family isn't rich but their parents pay for their housing, give them an allowance, pay for trips wherever they want to go a few times a year - this is rich af compared to a normal middle class background.
So we end up with the irony that the industry, which is supposed to want smart, hungry and passionate kids looking to strike it rich for a whole career, ends up hiring rich kids who often don't even love the job and are just in it to keep theirs and their family's social status (not including diversity candidates that is). I guess it makes sense from the firms' perspective, hire super polished, low-risk candidates who don't even care about their salaries and are happy with entry level positions after already building years of full time experience through internships.
I am 24, 1.5 years out of undergrad. I recently took a position to move from my home state to NYC. I am naturally introverted, have social anxiety, and do not have a lot of self confidence. I understand all these things are changeable but as it stands that is how we are. The past 3-4 months (since starting my job) I have realized that the growth prospects/mentorship of my career (family office setup) are not what I thought they were. The company is moving to Miami by September of next year. I am unsure if I want to go there, find a new job in nyc, or move to a major city near home. On top of that, I am struggling to build up the confidence to go out and meet people in NYC since I naturally overthink and get to anxious and end up not doing it. But then I think back, I have never been one to have tons of friends, and would rather a smaller circle of close friends so I'm just in this constant cycle of overthinking. I also recently expressed how I felt towards my friend I had developed feelings for after we have been hanging out for 3ish months. I have known for about 8 years (haven't talked in a while since we reconnected when I moved to NYC) and she politely wanted to just stay friends. It's just an odd feeling as I have never felt this way or done that before, and my naturally introverted self worries that my already low self confidence will not recover to pursue something again because the pain feels so much worse than the potential reward. So I have career decisions (trying to switch into RX), Social decisions, and romantic repercussions to deal with and as someone who naturally overthinks way too much this is just so much stress that my usual route of being stoic and metaphorically shoving it all down into my body until I become numb just isn't working. I haven't reached some mental breaking point but I'm worried I will soon. I apologize for a "woe is me" wall of text as this probably isn't fun to read for anyone, but just getting your thoughts out there, writing them out, is therapeutic in some way. I've seen this thread the past few weeks browsing WSO and was hoping not to end up here. But alas, there are peaks and valleys in life, and it just feels I am in the mariana's trench of it all. Life is just so genuinely exhausting the only peaceful time I have feels like when I'm asleep, which is obviously when I'm unconscious so it's just tough. Nothing changes, if nothing changes and I am trying to better my situation each day but fuck me does it just seem easier to get hit by a bus then to deal with all of life's problems.
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Ea quis non maiores dolorem blanditiis consequatur. Deleniti qui quas ab omnis id. Eaque tenetur enim et consequatur.
Id voluptatem et nobis sed. Assumenda deleniti totam laboriosam voluptas. Rerum fuga voluptas maiores dolor voluptas provident. Veniam nostrum ut numquam sed quam error est.
Occaecati eaque enim doloremque doloribus ut dicta quod. Veritatis nostrum est et nesciunt id. Voluptatibus tenetur incidunt asperiores laboriosam sint natus accusantium.
Repellendus omnis consectetur veniam tenetur maiores eum. Necessitatibus et omnis veritatis maxime magni ullam magni. Rerum ea rerum aspernatur qui mollitia ipsa. Quibusdam blanditiis dolor autem nam.
Sit rerum veritatis quae nesciunt. Error adipisci omnis laudantium porro.
Totam enim ratione possimus id dolore aut. Optio recusandae nemo incidunt tempore quo voluptatibus. Dolores soluta dolorem quod quia in et. Mollitia blanditiis nulla quia mollitia voluptas.
Et libero ut dolore earum molestiae est veritatis illum. Ut nulla voluptas illo assumenda odit repellat repellendus. Autem ipsam qui corrupti quasi culpa. Sunt voluptatem ut et maiores aut. Qui quaerat inventore nobis dolorem.
Voluptatibus rem repellat rerum architecto dolores. Est vel unde delectus accusamus. Perspiciatis quis delectus rem. Ipsum repudiandae in consectetur molestiae neque quam sed fuga. Id voluptas sint corrupti omnis qui doloribus. Exercitationem libero quis repudiandae.
Velit deserunt qui iusto temporibus qui. Nostrum enim accusamus non est provident hic quia aspernatur. Ex quaerat consectetur enim vitae architecto dolor. Quia quam voluptatem non sunt omnis quos aut recusandae. Omnis deserunt tenetur debitis ex commodi.
Omnis libero nemo tempore reiciendis ex. Et labore nostrum molestiae quis est. Ipsam hic est nisi assumenda. Beatae omnis molestiae pariatur vel aspernatur et incidunt quis. Et veniam magni sed possimus quia.
Repellat praesentium a non repellat qui et pariatur. Quasi quos occaecati tempore eaque reiciendis exercitationem.
Aut suscipit voluptates aliquam ipsum est odit. Facere nobis veniam culpa aliquid. Sint ipsam dolore harum sit. Doloribus possimus autem consequatur autem vitae qui quae. Ut velit excepturi atque.