Wall Street Confessions

Got the idea from Wall Street Stereotypes.

Anything you want to get off your chest....or excel spreadsheet?

Check out my previous posts:

How I Almost Got Scammed (Part 1)
http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/blog/how-i-almost-got-scammed-part-1

A Lesson In Bubble History (Part 1) - The Mississippi Bubble
http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/blog/a-lesson-in-bubble-history-part-1-the-mississippi-bubble

65 Comments
 

Forgive me Father for I have sinned - I use the office prayer room for power naps.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, post threads about how to do it on WSO.
 
jpmoranmonkeysachs SSits:

Forgive me Father for I have sinned - I use the office prayer room for power naps.

Lol, I think a lot more people will confess to this.

Do you guys really have prayer rooms? ...maybe we have a prayer room I don't know about...
heister: Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad. https://arthuxtable.com/
 
Best Response

I troll the IT guys when I get bored... My last ticket was regarding which software I can run to fix a screen I'd angrily inserted a keyboard into.

I sometimes play chicken (think Fast & Furious 1) in the narrower halls with clients with the straightest of faces.

I'm the guy who's leaving origami on the urinals.

I sometimes wear poly blend shirts.

heister: Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad. https://arthuxtable.com/
 
GoldenCinderblock

I troll the IT guys when I get bored...
My last ticket was regarding which software I can run to fix a screen I'd angrily inserted a keyboard into.

I sometimes play chicken (think Fast & Furious 1) in the narrower halls with clients with the straightest of faces.

I'm the guy who's leaving origami on the urinals.

I sometimes wear poly blend shirts.

Jesus will forgive you, not so sure about the MD though

 
GoldenCinderblock

I troll the IT guys when I get bored...
My last ticket was regarding which software I can run to fix a screen I'd angrily inserted a keyboard into.

I sometimes play chicken (think Fast & Furious 1) in the narrower halls with clients with the straightest of faces.

I'm the guy who's leaving origami on the urinals.

I sometimes wear poly blend shirts.

Poly blend shirts? What are you, some type of animal? Holy hell.

"When you stop striving for perfection, you might as well be dead."
 

I've blatantly lied to FoF managers about our process to get their capital

Wait - who hasn't?

 

I fall asleep while sitting up at my desk for a good half hour every morning.

make it hard to spot the general by working like a soldier
 

I'm usually asleep from 830-9, then half awake until about 10. Then drink a mt. dew which gets me through the rest of the day. I only work until 4pm so it's not too bad for me.

When I'm in class from 6-8, or 6-10, then I'm dozing off quite often there too!

make it hard to spot the general by working like a soldier
 
Xanatos

Yet another WSO post that some journalist will use to expose "the mischievous Wall Street culture"...

And get laughed at for citing WSO as a source.
heister: Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad. https://arthuxtable.com/
 
GoldenCinderblock Xanatos:

Yet another WSO post that some journalist will use to expose "the mischievous Wall Street culture"...

And get laughed at for citing WSO as a source.

+1

I joined the gym down the block from me because it has a lounge I can sleep in.

Get busy living
 
DickFuld Xanatos:

Yet another WSO post that some journalist will use to expose "the mischievous Wall Street culture"...

You're probably right.

As a side note, I'd also just like to add that I have nothing to confess.

Don't worry I'm not a journalist.....and also, Dick Fuld with nothing to confess? Doubt it!
 
dcrowoar

My internship and that of my pals may or may not have consisted of YouTube and Reddit binges... for weeks at a time.

FT offer?
heister: Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad. https://arthuxtable.com/
 
Scruff_McGruff

Brought an extra pair of different colored pants when napping in the stall so i could change out after 20 minutes and get another 20 in without anyone knowing it was the same person.

next level shit
heister: Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad. https://arthuxtable.com/
 
GoldenCinderblock Scruff_McGruff:

Brought an extra pair of different colored pants when napping in the stall so i could change out after 20 minutes and get another 20 in without anyone knowing it was the same person.

next level shit

Agreed, all that for a 40 minute power nap....
 
GoldenCinderblock Scruff_McGruff:

Brought an extra pair of different colored pants when napping in the stall so i could change out after 20 minutes and get another 20 in without anyone knowing it was the same person.

next level shit

Wow. Ingenuity being implemented the right way.
Maximum effort.
 

Check your intranet. If you've got one, it's likely located on the same floor as HR.

I feel Wall Street is about to get more religious.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, post threads about how to do it on WSO.
 
Hugh Myron

- hungover, bathroom stall power naps
- spend a disproportionate amount of time browsing wso and various other NSFW forums/sites

Nothing too bad.

How disproportionate are we talking? I spend like 30% of my day doing work. I feel mildly bad about it, but they love me, so fuck it right?
heister: Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad. https://arthuxtable.com/
 
GoldenCinderblock Hugh Myron:

- hungover, bathroom stall power naps
- spend a disproportionate amount of time browsing wso and various other NSFW forums/sites

Nothing too bad.

How disproportionate are we talking? I spend like 30% of my day doing work. I feel mildly bad about it, but they love me, so fuck it right?

I just started a new project. I am in consulting and now I spend like 70 % of my day working. My old project I spent like 20 % workign and the other browsing the interweb. I miss it.

Are you in F.O IB?

 

I used the copiers/binding machines/covers at my internship to print and bind interview guides and other 50+ page stuff for myself. Not that big of a deal but back then I was terrified of getting caught.

Oh and on Friday afternoons when I'd have phone calls to make I'd go to the my VP's office (who was gone) and use his nice headset and kick back in his chair.

Maximum effort.
 
kraziazi

I used the copiers/binding machines/covers at my internship to print and bind interview guides and other 50+ page stuff for myself. Not that big of a deal but back then I was terrified of getting caught.

I thought everyone does this?

I printed all the BIWS/WSO guides on glossy paper. No regrets.

 

I recently started responding to meeting invites in Outlook with "Propose new time" one minute later.

heister: Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad. https://arthuxtable.com/
 
GoldenCinderblock

I recently started responding to meeting invites in Outlook with "Propose new time" one minute later.

Oh man. This is the best. I can imagine the look on someones face when they receive that.

 

I like my own troll posts on CNN's FB page. I'd give myself SBs if I could.

heister: Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad. https://arthuxtable.com/
 

Illum ratione similique et pariatur ex in. Est dolorum velit reprehenderit quia aspernatur. Nobis praesentium qui iusto facere deleniti dolores quo. Quisquam alias accusamus eos enim. Nesciunt sed eum repudiandae et dolorem. Qui nulla quia et voluptates qui sint voluptate.

 

Ea beatae et voluptatibus labore. Quae sit nesciunt qui reprehenderit et et. Harum est ipsum reiciendis excepturi. Sint recusandae et qui modi voluptatem.

Cupiditate laborum omnis iure iure unde quasi enim. Dolores blanditiis molestiae reiciendis dolores tempore consequatur aut doloremque. Ut aliquam sed ex repellat consectetur amet perferendis ea. Corrupti exercitationem odio rerum qui tempore nemo.

Ea pariatur fuga aut nostrum eum enim. Velit et sed magnam similique eveniet corporis. Fuga voluptas tempore voluptatibus nihil beatae ut quidem.

Voluptate consequatur est sed consequatur. In itaque laudantium optio eum.

heister: Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad. https://arthuxtable.com/
 

Nesciunt dolor ratione et ab rerum voluptas quam. Voluptate officia fugiat autem cumque a. Maiores alias id in architecto impedit velit et fugiat. Nobis laborum ut non excepturi. Sint velit culpa temporibus facere iure sed.

Vel sint ipsam omnis ex. Iure consequuntur atque sed eos aspernatur qui sed. Accusantium iusto non sit.

Ea quam sit aut rerum magnam. Odio voluptas dolores accusamus reiciendis voluptatem unde repudiandae. Quo laboriosam excepturi dolorem minima. Amet aut incidunt itaque nobis. Voluptate qui est illum delectus. Sed est ducimus non aut debitis voluptate. Earum pariatur sequi labore voluptas enim eveniet.

"When you stop striving for perfection, you might as well be dead."

Career Advancement Opportunities

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • JPMorgan 01 98.3%
  • Guggenheim Partners 01 97.7%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.4%
  • Morgan Stanley 02 98.8%
  • Evercore 01 98.3%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.7%
  • Banco Santander 01 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • Morgan Stanley 05 98.3%
  • JPMorgan No 97.7%
  • BMO Capital Markets 11 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Vice President (14) $434
  • Associates (44) $258
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (8) $210
  • 2nd Year Analyst (22) $179
  • Intern/Summer Associate (13) $156
  • 1st Year Analyst (78) $151
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (73) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”