What are your crazy ex-girlfriend/boyfriend stories?

Self explanatory. Tell your best story, or stories if you have more than one, of dealing with a psycho girlfriend/boyfriend. If you were unlucky enough to marry them, then husband or wife stories will suffice as well.

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She wasn't my girlfriend, but she was my roommate in NYC. She said she was lesbian and the rule is you can't hook up with roommates, so I thought I was fine. Then one night I hooked up with her and her girlfriend and after this, a screw went loose in her mind. She wanted to hang out all the time and for me to go with her when she went out, but I had my friends too and didn't want to hang out with a group of lesbians all the time, that seems lame. In addition to not going out with her all the time, she started pounding on my door to hookup when I was at the apartment, but I wasn't really interested and it drove her crazy. 

Well, one day I was on the roof deck of our apartment complex chilling with my neighbor and all of a sudden cops bust through the door and ask for me by name. They cuffed me on the spot and I had no idea why at the time. Later I found out that my roommate called 911 and stated that I was 'harassing' her and calling her 5x day for 2 weeks. Phone records would later show I called her 0 times in 2 weeks. When I was arrested, I only had my ID and $10 bucks on me - they didn't let me grab my wallet. So after about 30 hours in jail and going in front of a judge, I was released and it was 4am and I was homeless. The judge said I was restricted from going back to my apartment. I was fucked. Really fucked. I was starving as all they gave us were cheese sandwiches and milk, but I asked for other people's milk as I was hungry. I didn't know a lot of people's addresses on the top of my head, but I knew one friend on 55th Street and decided to make the trek up there. I decided to walk over using the subway. I spent $2 on an orange on the way and had $8 left. 

It was about 5:30am. I got to 55th Street. I'm hungry and tired and feel completely fucked. He HAS to be there. I hope the buzzer wakes him up. I say a quick prayer and then buzz his apartment. HE ANSWERS!!!! Yessssss. He let's me upstairs and I tell him the whole story. He said "bro - I know what you need - a fat joint." So we lit up and contemplated life and it was one of the greatest moments of my life escaping being homeless. He let me stay there in this tiny ass studio until I got a new place. And after that I started dating this girl in the south so moved back down to be with her. But, this stupid case in NYC was still going so I had to fly back to NYC once a month for 6 months until prosecution accepted the evidence. Every month I would fly there and sit in the courtroom and they would say "prosecution has not accepted the evidence." It was so dumb. All they had to do was check my phone records that I submitted and compare it against the lie she said. Also, I didn't know it at the time, but there is a NY state law that says if a female ever calls 911 for a domestic issue, the male is automatically arrested and processed. She blatantly perjured herself, but the prosecutors didn't want to press charges.

Moral of the story - don't stick your dick in crazy. You think you can control the situation, but when a crazy girl has venom towards you, you're fucked. My roommate also stole $200 from my wallet when I was gone and put all of my paintings on the roof. Luckily my neighbor took them down and kept them for me. Also, I had to line up a court appointed time to pick up my stuff from the apartment and she was 30 min late to the court appointed time, so a bunch of cops and I were just waiting with our thumbs up our asses and the cops almost left, it was ridiculous. And she never showed up for one court date, yet didn't drop the charges. 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

I cannot fucking take anymore how much this man mogs every single aspect of my life (I deeply respect him and wish nothing but the best on this brother in Christ of mine).

...and the Truth shall set you free
 

You know, some of your stories are really fucking out there but too specific to be labeled as made up. Whether or not you’re actually one of the most interesting people in this planet, or you’re some batshit compulsive liar, your stories keep me entertained 

 

Hey what can I say man love is a serious mental disease. We also dated for 4+ years so I was mad hurt

Agreed though to your point. I don’t have the cancerous ShitTok app but if someone exposes me on TikTok for texts I’m suing for defamation. (Joking, or am I…)

 

Listen to Isaiah.

My friend had a crazy hot gf who got the cops called on them for a heated argument one night by a Karen neighbor. She blurts out, “he hit me!” and on go the cuffs do not pass go, do not collect $200. Similar story with the restriction from seeing/speaking to her; but they didn’t live together so at least he wasn’t homeless. She kept lying all the way through pre prosecution letting my boy get his rep tarnished and racking up a 5 figure legal bill. She eventually choked during a cross examination perjuring herself. My boy got the charges dropped, but he never did recoup the legal fees. He thought of suing her, but as a hot degenerate socialite, it wouldn’t have paid dividends for a long time, if ever.

To this day if you Google his name, you see the public record of his arrest for assault and battery.

Moral of the story. The juice ain’t always worth the squeeze with certain women.

 

Can't top Isaiah, but he's not the only one who put his dick in crazy.  I defer to the

to explain/excuse my decisions. Smoke show stripper fwb in college, so many friends' little sisters looking to rile things up with mom & dad by using my bed, an ex-fiance who resurfaces after ten years but now we have SRO's on each other. 
The poster formerly known as theAudiophile. Just turned up to 11, like the stereo.
 

One night in college, I went back with this girl to her place after a party to hangout. Didn’t know her very well but we had a class or two together, she’d transferred in that year. Come to find out later that she’d posted me on her snap story.

Her ex showed up coked up banging on the door, yelling for her, throwing rocks at the windows. This didn’t stop for like 3 hours while I was banging out his ex upstairs . He stopped around 3 or 4 AM and I assumed that was the end of it. Wake up at 8AM for class, this mfer starts up throwing stones at her window again.

There were 2 doors to the entrance and come to find later he’d broken the first one at some point. I’m like shit, I gotta go to class and this dude is deranged. So the rocks stop for a minute and I go down to look out the window to the street, turn around and dude is standing on the back porch with a sliding glass door and tells me to let him in. I’m like nah I’m gonna head out the front. Long story short he ran around the front, busted the door down, and grabbed me. We rolled around a bit and I took a few hits then he tried saying something to her and I just dipped

 

This guy I went on metely one casual boring date with, typed batshit crazy wall-of-text rants at me whenever I do something he isn't entirely fond of (such as not following him on Spotify), which eventually prompted me to block him everywhere.

It has been 3 months since I blocked him on every platform, and he is still going around telling our mutual friends that I am obsessively and relentlessly chasing him and forcing him to date me.

Highly delusional considering that he is neither rich, nor good looking, nor had half a good personality. I have long moved on to other romantic prospects and he is still not over this.

 

Dated a girl (let’s call her Sarah) during university for only a couple of weeks. Called it off because she wanted serious & I wanted casual at the time, she went crazy (writing me essays, calling me 5+ times a day, etc.), but ultimately, I absorbed it and moved on.

Fast forward one year, I was dating someone else, this time kind of serious. Sarah spent months speaking to mutual friends of ours and spreading fake stories that I had cheated on my GF with her. They were elaborate and carefully constructed stories that combined real events with added fictitious elements. When I found out what she was doing, I blocked her on all socials, and warned my friends & GF, many of whom stopped speaking to her…

A few weeks later, I find out that she had contacted the police claiming I was stalking her. Obvs she had no evidence, so it was dropped instantly, and the whole thing stopped there (or so I thought)…

Fast forward 6 (yes 6!!) years. I am dating someone new, for a good 2 years. Out of the blue she tells me she has had a phone call from a girl, claiming I cheated and since have been stalking her for over a year, trying to convince my GF to break up with me. Of course it was Sarah!! It didn’t work, but holy shit, over 7 years have passed now from a brief 2 week fling with this girl, and I feel like I need to warn any future GF about her.  

 

Tbh this is why you should have an extremely low presence in social media. It prevents people from being able to stalk you or know your whereabouts at the present time. Of course, your gf also has to be aligned with that for it to work.

Array
 

Unfortunately a small portion of girls wouldn't mind dating someone who's not really present in social media. I blame it on TikTok. It feels like everybody wants to be the next big thing and hang out with the popular crew.

 

There was a girl I knew in college who seemed really normal for the first year. Sophomore year rolls around... There's a dorm wide email about a fundraiser for a girl with terminal brain cancer. Her photo is at the bottom of the email.... We were tangentially friends so I started attending fund raisers and promoting plenty of the events. After five months, a friend finally asked her, "How is it going" and she told them, "I won't be back next semester." Next semester was in 4 months... 

Junior year rolls around, and I see her on campus! We chat for a bit. I remember her being nervous/uncomfortable, so we didn't talk about the whole "terminal cancer" situation... I see her friends who look terrified when I mention that I talked to her. "She's crazy." "How crazy?" "Look at this." They have a photo album of lies she has told them over text message. A few highlights: 

  • Terminal cancer... definitely the craziest
  • Created a photo of herself without hair about a month before she was tagged in a random photo on FB with hair...
  • Said her parents were super wealth from Wendy's franchises but her dad was really just a corporate lawyer?
  • Would post two wildly different stories on different social media accounts... Almost like she was testing out drafts of elaborate lies. 
  • Told random people from her hometown that her roommate actually had terminal cancer and passed off all the stuff her roommate did as her efforts (said she made shirts for events, came up with fundraiser ideas, etc.)
  • Started dating a guy from her hometown that moved ~2,000 miles to where our college was just to be with her while he pursued an online MBA... I don't think anyone ever told him about the crazy shit that she claimed. 
Array
 
financechimp123

Once hooked up with my roommate called Isaiah who would nonstop text and call me harassing me. Had to call the cops

Was this the same hookup you mentioned where the dude had a micopenis?

 

financechimp123

Once hooked up with my roommate called Isaiah who would nonstop text and call me harassing me. Had to call the cops

LMAOOOOO im deadddd

 

I had a pretty funny situation with an ex-girlfriend. At one point, I began to suspect that she was cheating on me. And as always, I think it happens to everyone, when you think about something, the Internet starts to serve it up to you in the form of advertisements. And I came across an article about 20 signs that a girlfriend is cheating. And I installed a spy app, and it turns out she was cheating on me with my dad. I never thought my old man would steal my girlfriend. No more in my life, no more father or girlfriend. But I fell in love all over again. I hope that doesn't happen again.

 
richardchlenov

I had a pretty funny situation with an ex-girlfriend. At one point, I began to suspect that she was cheating on me. And as always, I think it happens to everyone, when you think about something, the Internet starts to serve it up to you in the form of advertisements. And I came across an article about 20 signs that a girlfriend is cheating. And I installed a spy app, and it turns out she was cheating on me with my dad. I never thought my old man would steal my girlfriend. No more in my life, no more father or girlfriend. But I fell in love all over again. I hope that doesn't happen again.

Let me guess, you had a 3 some to make amends...

NEVER HAPPENED!

 

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