Is PE in SF that bad ??
Second year MBB guy in New York.
Was grinding on recruiting for a while and eventually signed with a fund on the west coast.
I’m really grateful for the opportunity and turning it down was not even in the question … however I’ve recently been on chiller cases and have actually grown to really like New York. To be honest, a big part of it is I have kind of hit my stride on hinge (lol), and it’s kind of cool how the culture is more around finance than tech…
So I’m kind of bummed to be moving to SF for PE. Has anyone else been in this situation ? Did you end up actually liking SF? And is dating really that bad??
Female here but commenting just in case could be helpful.
I lived in SF and NYC. Couldn’t imagine leaving NYC when I was still in the city, but since moving to SF I’ve adopted new hobbies (hiking, tennis, golf) that would be impossible or very difficult to do in NYC, and now I can’t think of moving back/living in nyc where the outdoor scene is barren. I used to live the culture/restaurant scene in nyc but now as I’ve grown older that’s no longer what I’m even remotely interested in.
For Hinge I guess you could change your location to SF and see for yourself. There are probably more hot girls in nyc but they probably are picky too and have lots of options to choose from. Male to female ratio in SF seems to be in favor of girls (or so I’ve heard) but the truth is most men in SF are quite unattractive (not just physically but overall vibes), so I think it’s still relatively easy for even slightly above-average guys to have decent dating life here
How easy is it to golf around the city or broader Bay Area (especially without a car)? Moving there soon and want to continue golfing consistently.
Get a car, the bay is 10x better with a car
i'm in menlo park area and i have a car. better to have a car to go around anyway. if your office is in SF, you can choose to not have a car and just live within walking distance or be at a location with good public transit. to golf around, especially to the south bay courses (and nice courses after you go across the bridge), you definitely need a car. it's possible to catch a uber to 2-3 ok courses within SF (presidio, lincoln, etc.)
Don’t worry everyone leaves golden gate after a year
Brother if I was going to Golden Gate, SF would be the least of my worries …
not at golden gate, but curious why some people would join if they're just planning on leaving after a year (apart from those whose only offer is golden gate/don't have a choice)?
They don't join with the intention of leaving after a year they get burnt out that's the joke
I didn’t enjoy SF nearly as much as I currently enjoy NYC, but I’ve grown to like it better since moving away. Most of what I disliked about SF has vastly improved since I moved away a couple years ago. I was also working for a heinous bank which colored my view of the city. It’s beautiful there, very outdoorsy with lots of daytime activities. Nightlife is just not comparable so don’t come in expecting anything like New York and you’ll actually enjoy it for what it is. And if you’re a normal guy I don’t think you’ll have trouble dating. If anything, the girls will be relieved you’re like a “New York guy” imported to the bay. Totally overblown about dating imo. There are just a lot of freaks in SF who would realistically do even worse dating in Manhattan. Pay no mind to the caterwauling bugmen.
I’d definitely take certain roles in SF in my late 20s. Has some of my favorite parks and gardens in the country, and unbeatable day trips to Muir Woods, Sonoma, Santa Cruz, Monterey. Fly down to SB / SLO some weekend too. Amazing part of the country so make sure you take full advantage.
Have worked in SF and PE for about a year and a half now. Not really sure what the "bad" you are referring to is, but I quite like living here. For reference, I was in NYC for about 2 years prior to moving here. FWIW, the city has been coming quite alive the last few months and Daniel Lurie is doing a good job cleaning it up (IMO).
While I may not have as much objective fun (nightlife here is ok-solid, but obviously nowhere comes close to NYC), my lifestyle, health, and ability to do things I want to are far better than when I was living in NYC. So many cool areas to visit nearby, the weather is PERFECT basically all year long, and ultimately, people just prioritize life over work here. So if that's your thing, SF is a great spot. Similar to New York, there's a group and place for everyone here, regardless of your interests.
Dating scene definitely is bad though, so no sugarcoating that. Based on my experience it seems to be a "cuffed" city where attractive people you see on the street are already in long-term relationships. It's a big city though, so I'm sure you can find someone that works for you. If you aren't a cringy tech-bro (i.e. don't need to inject it into every conversation), you're already at an advantage relative to others.
Happy to dive deeper on anything in particular :) Doing a move with the mindset of being bummed before you even get there is a losing strategy IMO.
What are the best avenues for connecting with single dimes in the city?
Use of the word avenues really elevates this sentiment
Its so misleading to regurgitate that the weather is perfect in SF. That is so far from the truth, and a lie that is spread to so many people when moving to SF.
The weather is almost always low 60s year around, but can feel much colder with the wind. Everyone in SF has a jacket at all times (unless its a strange day that is warm and ~75). That means in the summer you will rarely have a nice warm day, but you will never be freezing in the winter. For the uninformed SF has a “microclimate” that makes it unique to other places even in its vicinity.
The weather in SF can best be described as consistent and mid. If you want truly perfect weather LA is closer to the truth.
Yeah SF is somehow always chilly but NYC has the worst weather maybe in the world
Valid take - perhaps I should have specified it is perfect to me. The 60-70 degree range is where I thrive and what I find to be ideal year-round.
Disagree with warm and 75 being a strange, one-off day. Feel like last few weeks up until recently have been quite nice and around that mark.
This is accurate. Truly perfect weather is the central coast like Santa Barbara. Constantly 65-75 for almost the whole year. Marine layer / June gloom but otherwise like SF and Monterey weather but 5-10 degrees warmer. And if you’re really cold you can just drive a bit up the coast and it will be hot and sunny in the valley.
I think SF really tested the edges during the 2020-2022 period where frankly it seemed like they were a couple bad policy decisions from total disrepair; but the city does seem to be in recovery now that no one is talking about it or watching it (shoutout LA currently). Long way to go but definitely understand how perception might not equal reality right now.
I’ve lived in both recently and I think most of the stereotypes you’ve heard are true. NYC is a more fun city with much richer culture, food, and wayyy better looking, more approachable women (by an order of magnitude). The worklife balance and access to the outdoors is better in SF no question.
I can consistently talk to and hook up with hotter more friendly women in NYC compared to SF. I travel between the two cities a lot for work, and I don’t know what it is about SF, but the girls are painful to talk to and much less attractive.
Theres a joke about SF being home of the 49ers a bunch of 4s that think they’re 9s.
what makes the women in SF difficult to talk to/can you give some examples of "difficult to talk to"
Poor sense of humor, don’t entertain conversation, more cliquey / unwilling to talk to strangers vs. people in other cities like NYC, Miami, Austin, Chicago, etc.
This obviously is not a rule of law for all women in SF but a general sentiment. I’m a white guy in finance for what its worth.
they all mostly work in eng and product in tech so they earn ~$300k min a year and with that money they don't really need to coo up to man, also there are many rich founder potentials ($10mm min raised) out here in SF
Hey at least you're not heading to LA haha
Lived in both - some people love sf or hate it. If you like being outdoors, running, chiller vibes you’ll like it. If you like clubbing, going out and the fast pace nature of NY you’ll probably miss NY. Either way you are headed to sf so try to enjoy it and reasses after 6 months. Worst case you can say you lived in SF and makes you more interesting of a person.
Current associate planning to eventually move back to NYC. I love it out here honestly. Get a car, get some outdoor hobbies, enjoy the beauty of nature and the change of pace. Take the city for what it is. The food is still great, and the tech first vs. finance first culture as someone in finance is a nice reset. The 30%+ reduction in rent is a nice plus too. Moving back due to family proximity and lack of west coast connections, but it definitely has its pros. Also, Mayor Lurie is rapidly turning around the perception and vibe of the city.
Dude where are you seeing 30% rent savings? I’m looking at Rincon hill and finding rents to be basically the same as NYC.
Your first mistake is looking at Rincon Hill. Much better deal in SF to get a bigger apartment out in the more desirable neighborhoods (Noe Valley, Lower Pac Heights, Inner Sunset) that's in a 4-8 story building or one whole floor of a 2-3 story townhouse than to overpay for a 1-bed in a newer high-rise in SoMa/Mission Bay/Rincon Hill/FiDi/Mid-Market/Embarcadero. "More desirable" being defined as walkability, neighborhood character/safety, access to green space, and general pleasantness as a place to spend time outside of work.
That said, if you absolutely must have a pool, roof deck, gym, doorman/front desk building then yes, you're going to pay a lot for it in SF, because there just aren't as many buildings that offer those characteristics as in NYC. Restrictive zoning and NIMBYism in the western and southern neighborhoods mean the high-rise, luxury/amenity housing is almost entirely confined to the northeastern corner of the city.
Rincon Hill is the last place I'd be looking. It's an unwalkable ghost town outside of working hours. You're just surrounded by work buildings and cutoff from the rest of the city. Not to mention you'll likely get noise during rush hour from the bay bridge. Rent is also considerably higher than other parts of the city because they can trick people coming from nyc that think living in a high rise is a thing in SF.
Can just set your location to SF to find out for yourself on Hinge, will give you the best data point there in a few days.
Similar boat, moved to SF a while ago and have really loved it. It is clearly on the rise from the last couple years. New mayor, much cheaper than NYC nowadays, really valuing the things that the bay has to offer (outdoors, ability to have a car, generally better work culture, etc.). Couldn't imagine going back now.
If you work at a fund in Menlo, just be thoughtful about the neighborhoods in SF you live in (Hayes, Mission, Mission Bay, Potrero hill, Noe Valley, Rincon Hill, etc.) and the commute is fine. If you work in SF, most people end up in pac heights or similar area.
Damn seeing you guys talk about dating the way you do makes me want to lock my kids (4 years old boy and girl) in a convent already. Or maybe we become Mormon or smth
The kids are cooked tbh
I find that people who have lived on both coasts are far more well rounded and centered, and frankly more pleasant to be around. SF is a world class city with a vastly different palette of opportunities and things to do while still providing the core things to love about being in a big, dense city. Feeling good about yourself because of Hinge in NYC is not a reason to hold yourself back from what will be a life altering experience. There are girls everywhere if you're just trying to get laid.
It's pretty here - one of the most scenic coasts, wine country, skiing, and hiking are all just a short drive away. The dating scene is really abysmal, I been on plenty of dates in the past 2 years but only 1 girl was what I'd call worth your time from an NYC lens.
It's more of a house party city than a bar/club city which sucks as single guy who is new here. If you do outdoor activities and join a nice gym those are fine avenues to meet good looking people and have a decent time and immerse. It's just not a city in the way NYC or London or any of the Asian cities are, it's small and people carry themselves frankly in a very unimpressive way. Also you need to go to music festivals like Outside Lands and Portola at least once, those are special.
Have been here for a couple years and have really enjoyed it. I think it’s a much higher quality of life than in NYC for most people. For reference I went to college in NYC and spent my IB years there as well. I think NYC is great when you’re fresh out of school but if you’re in your late 20’s / early 30’s and are looking for a more balanced lifestyle it’s a great option. I was certain I’d move back toNYC when I first moved to SF but the city has really grown on me.
Idk what the point is of pushing this hard in your 20s to then just settle down in SF and never experiencing the golden age in NYC which is being 30-38 single, mid level to senior with 20x the budget you had in your 20s and free time. NYC and much of Europe is tailor made for men of that age with means and who’ve taken care of their hair and weight. Try it before you knock it.
It's absolutely horrible lol - never thought I'd be here, but given market dynamics in PE right now, I had to bite the bullet and embrace the change. Comp was too good.
There is almost zero social scene here, especially coming from NYC - it's just not valued in the same way. Dive bars, recently graduated frat culture, and drinking at the park are where you'll find boozing. Otherwise it's primarily a health-driven city and extremely work-oriented. Classy, sceney lounges and clubs with well-dressed NYC-style babes do not exist. Just doesn't. Restaurants close down at 9pm. There is no day-club / day rooftop scene like NYC summers (god i miss it). Napa is nice but there is no surf lodge.
You'll get laid if that's your worry lol - particularly if you were having success in NY. It just will look nothing like a properly style NY/Brooklyn smokeshow.
Focus on making money, get in shape, find the occasional lay, maybe a girlfriend, and travel a lot. It is what it is.
It's beautiful here though, and has a ton of potential - it's just not acted on.
Haha,appreciate your perspective. Like others said SF is more of a cuffed city & not optimal for singles imo
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