Hello,
I am trying to update my resume and after couple of emails back and forth with my career adviser back in college, I have not moved on far. She is stuck on adjusting margins and etc, where I need condense some bullet points. I am trying to break into iBanking and put a lot of extra curricular into as a way of explaining absence of internship after my freshman year.
http://razume.com/documents/9742
any feedback will be much appreciated.
well for starters take out fluent in english and add more detail and emphasis on your recent work xp as a capital markets intern... should definitely be more lines than your RA work
Definitely don't say you're fluent in English if you're not.
Ditto on excelsior, capital markets intern deserves more lines.
You have ra TWICE! You have to be kidding me. Lose the shit about "some aspect of British culture." And don't say "the students," it sounds bad, you're a student too, if you get the job will you say "I work with the analysts?" Sounds stuck up
Move computer skills and languages to the bottom unless you're applying for an IT job
Why is ECONOMICS and MATHEMATICS capitalized?
Put your degree on the same line as you major, ie BA Economics & Mathematics, then grad date (expected) on the other side
What's with all the repetitive and unnecessary words - "entered and analyzed" "arrange or coordinate" "update and create" "distributed and reconciled" - no need for that. Just pick the one that sounds best and use it, this isn't english class (which I doubt you passed), you don't have a word count you need to meet
Why isn't spring '09 aligned right?
The second bullet of your microfinance internship is horrid. Whe the hell bullets two sentences?
"Assistant to the Vice President of the Wealth Management?" No. a) too many uses of the word the b) make it sound more interesting
also, IB degree is high school. unless you were in top 1% or whatever they give out IB awards for, drop it
1) Remove "MS Office 2007" and "Photoshop" 2) Don't state the versions of programs 3) Dates should be aligned along right edge of your resume 4) Where is GPA? If recruiters see no GPA and only two appearances on Dean's List, they won't bother reading the rest of your resume 5) Move all your skills to the bottom. Are you sure about fluency in English? lol 6) Don't make RA gig sound "pretty" because everyone who went to college knows what you actually do.
I haven't looked in detail at your resume, but even back office position's would ding you for a spell check mistake. Literally no excuse for that.
Also, just reading your question didn't make any sense. I don't want to be mean, but even if you are "technically" fluent in English, your communication skills are not even close effective or cohesive. You HAVE to communicate effectively at the very least and actual candidates are far superior than most of their peers. If you've got the quant skills, I would recommend you try to find a position in the country of your native tongue. Math is universal but pitch books definitely are not.
He is most likely Russian...
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