Cold approaching women? Improving my dating life.

I honestly think we should open a dating sub-forum, it would make sense given the amount of questions in this area.

Regarding your question:

Online dating is hit and miss with some men. There are so many people on there now - you are relying on an algorithm, don't know who gets to see your profile, can't show charisma/character well enough, and there are more missing physical factors i.e. voice, language, accent, class, presence/dominance, humor, body language, etc

You would have to present yourself in a different way on an app compared to real life.

I think London women are very attractive and, for a tall/attractive/employed guy like you, you should approach them in public. This doesn't have to be in the street, but try a retail store, a pub, lounge, bar, etc.  I wouldn't recommend a night club, but some swear on hitting on girls in those places as well. You have to see what works best for you.
A  decent amount of people actually met their partners through work. Not AT work, but through it. Conferences, Davos, political events, etc are all fair game for dating. Use your options. One of my best friend actually met his wife at church, so even that is still possible today.

Don't forget that many people in London are not British themselves (they might be from an EU country or from Asia or North America), so there is a different dating market/niche for everyone. It doesn't matter what religion you are, or what ethnicity or anything, there will be a match in London.
 

I personally only date English girls from outside of London, but that is just a preference.

Massimo_Ruggero

Living in London, during the day, the streets are full of gorgeous hot women most of whom are models. 

No

Similarly, my online results are absolute garbage so I've turned to cold approach and it's worked pretty well for me but took some work to get it right.

The results behind cold approach is all over the place. You can be a beautiful model with a well-timed contextual approach and get outright rejected or approach like a broken mess and get an amazing reaction. When it comes to getting their contact info, it's entirely a numbers game.

BUT one thing many people start to notice is that they'll get numbers and never get calls/texts back after. This is largely because most people approach with a simple compliment, small talk, and an ask for the number of which most women will provide as a nice way to escape the situation or they genuinely give the number but lose interest shortly after. Personally for me, I find that approaches where I quickly lead into a personable interesting conversation that lasts at least 8-10 minutes yields the best results for women to actually go on a date with me. Also, what's important is definitely NOT what you say in the first approach but how you say it and how you lead the conversation after.

Here's some approaches I use that tend to do well and lead to other topics: "Hi! Look I know this is random but..."

• I saw that [insert bag, clothing, accessory] you have and was really interested where you got it. Personally, I've been trying to shop for [insert relevant item]
• You look like a [dancer, fashion designer, or any identity that gives off a sense of good taste] I might know. Any chance you [dance, design clothes, etc]? -- This one is good if you have an artistic hobby because you can quickly insert that you do x,y,z. 
• I've been trying to find a good spot around here to eat and you look like you know the area pretty well. Any tips? -- If they're not from the area then you have a good entry into knowing a bit more about their story and where they're from/why they're here

Hope this helps. Feel free to DM me if you want to talk more on this

I'm interested in what @thebrofessor thinks. 

PM me OP, we'll go chase some tail on Friday night.

Your are in the late 20s and do not know how to hook up with a female?   You do not have to meet women online.  Go to a bar or club with some friends and strike up a conversation with a female. 

I feel like if you can try to fit conversations into every day life, you will be well off.

I think women can notice when you are trying to hard, so for instance you are are walking into a coffee shop, run into a woman, and you like something about them, say it! The longer it goes unsaid the more it will come across poorly / forced.

Basically be a naturally fun / nice person lol.

In NYC, due to COVID and the increase in crime, especially against certain ethnic groups, cold approaching on the street has been a major no-no. Most girls are purposely looking at phones or listening to music, and if you approach them they will be scared/looking to leave asap. 

It's possible the scene in London is similar to NYC at this moment. If that is the case, I highly recommend you go to clubs and chat up girls there. In clubs girls will be more interested in meeting strangers than in the streets. 

I am a tall, good looking guy in decent shape (could be better lol).

 And you can't get matches or likes online? Either your profile sucks ass or you are some ogre looking motherfucker. 

Honestly, if you're doing well in real life, don't even bother with online dating - it's much worse: girls will look different from their profile pics, and girls that look really good will have so much attention on apps and dating sites that they won't respond even to hot rich guys, cause they have thousands of good-looking rich guys liking and super-liking them and offering them free dinners at expensive restaurants.

That being said, I personally mainly do dating through apps because I find it more convenient and I get enough attention on apps. However, I do sometimes end up meeting somebody who looks 30+ lbs heavier than on photos, so I'm actually contemplating doing less apps dating and more irl.

removed (posted twice).

my guess is you either need professional photos or you are being extremely selective in your swipes

Have your friends introduce you to some chicks. Easiest way IMO 

Cold approaching women is pretty easy. Just don't be a total tool like and put on some big act. If you see a girl you like just strike up a conversation... introduce yourself.. ask her how her day is. Show some interest in her. You dont need to explicitly hit on her. Shes not stupid. She knows why your talking to her.... Just have a casual conversation about anything and be confident. Then ask her for her number or if in your conversation you discovered that shes not busy at the moment ask her to grab a coffee or lunch with you.

It's all a numbers game man. There are a million reasons why girls would reject you or decline your offer for a date and most of them aren't in regard to anything you specifically did.

Obviously your chances of success increase with your level of attractiveness and charisma. You said your not In great shape? Why not? Start eating better. Count your calories if you have to. Start working out. Even if it's running for 30 mins a day. The recipe for success here is pretty simple man. It's really all just a numbers game which frankly makes casual dating kinda boring after you've had success with it.

Quit online dating and approach in real life.

The problem with apps such as Tinder is that you will find there only two types of girls (99% cases), the ones who just want to get laid and the ones who are the bottom of the pool and are desperate to find someone. The ones who are worth pursuing do not use dating apps because they are not interested in one night stands and they already have enough attention in real life so they do not need the online one.

Regarding your question, you can approach a girl in almost any scenario, as long as you do not act creepy. Get to her, say something totally random (Where I can find X or Z, how do I get to Y - even if you lived there for 20 years) and just try to see if she is open to a little conversation, if yes, after some replies tell her that you would want to invite her to a coffee or an ice cream when she can. Also, do not approach any girl, try to approach those with whom you had some eye contact or a "feel" that she may be interested.

Consider that approaching a woman outside a screen shows balls which is attractive for her (so even easier to get a date when approaching in real life than on a screen where you don't show personality nor character) and also, if the relationship lasts you will have a sweet story to tell others that you two met at X place in such a day which is 101% cooler than writing her on a phone.

I would want to point out that a good place to find someone would be from your professional entourage because you already share some values and a life philosophy with her (professional, lifestyle, etc.) which is important in a relationship.