Cold E-mail Question

I am writing a cold email to a firm (It's a networking contact somewhat) for a internship, and I am having trouble phrasing the closing line.

"I understand you're a busy man, but I would like to meet with you to discuss the possibilities of interning for you this fall. Let me know when I would be able to talk to you more about this."

The quotations is what I have in the draft right now. Is it alright? Or does anyone have any recommendations for changes?

Should I include the option of talking on the phone?

Comments (4)

Jul 30, 2010

"I understand you're a busy man, but I would like to meet with you to discuss the possibilities of interning for you this fall. Let me know when I would be able to talk to you more about this."

I realize you are busy but would like the opportunity to meet with you to discuss the possibility of an internship this coming fall.
I look forward to hearing from you soon.

----Ehh not the greatest rephrasing but you could probably use some of it

Jul 30, 2010

No it sounds good man. Thank you.

Jul 30, 2010

Are you writing to a firm or to a person? If you are writing to a firm, may be good to take out, "I know you are a busy man."

Jul 30, 2010
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