Dumbest thing you said in an interview?

What's something you said in an interview that made you want to bitchslap yourself?

I'll start. Back when I was a junior looking for SA positions in IB, I had gone through a long interview process with a MM bank. In the last interview of the final rounds (after crushing the previous interviews), I had an MD interviewer who was an alumn of my school. Internally cheering, I was feeling like this was in the bag; it soon became apparent that my feelings weren't a fucking priority.

The guy tore apart my resume and experiences, everything from my average GPA to my lack of a double major (which apparently 'was expected,' these days). Eventually this happens:

Interviewer: "So which professor did you have for your business law class?"
Me: (Totally blanked) "I think his name was Jerry Law" cue nervous laughter from me
Interviewer: "Interesting, I don't remember him. What about your investment banking class?"
Me: (Blanked on this one too) "James Banker"
Interviewer: ".....Jerry Law and James Banker, huh?"

Needless to say, no one at that bank ever responded to my emails after that.

Comments (82)

Aug 23, 2018

How did you not know your professor's names lol

    • 1
Aug 23, 2018

Honestly, I was a pretty rattled by how harsh he layed into me and essentially criticized every decision I made since I went to school. By that point, remembering the names of professors for classes I had taken a year ago wasn't the easiest thing

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Aug 23, 2018

there's already a big thread on this

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Aug 23, 2018

Yes there is.

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Aug 23, 2018

I walk into my interview for JPM, and the VP proceeds to destroy me for my semi-target background. I get a little frustrated with this and ask: "Well, did every current analyst in your group go to a target school?" She gives me a blank stare, and proceeds to end the interview.

    • 3
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Funniest
Aug 23, 2018

When you know you have no shot, it might just be worth laying your balls on her table, Erlich Bachman-style.

    • 36
Aug 23, 2018
Most Helpful
Aug 23, 2018

Me: "How are you doing today?"
Interviewer: "Good, how are you doing?"
Me: "Good, how are you?"
Interviewer looks at me like I'm a retarded housefly

There wasn't much to go on after that.

    • 36
Aug 24, 2018

Feel you on this; done this myself and its the most awkward thing.

    • 1
Aug 24, 2018

Happens more times than people think

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Sep 4, 2018

One of the receptionists in my apartment does this every other time I see her. Unfortunately, she works weekday evenings so I see her a lot. It's the most awkward thing; she's so clearly zoned out into her phone, but I feel like a dick not responding. I've definitely done it before too, definitely more than once, but I don't understand how she is so checked out.

Aug 23, 2018

One time I not even kidding you lost my train of thought because I realized I was staring at the female interviewer's chest on accident (srs on accident). I was in the middle of explaining something technical and my eyes were naturally drifting as I searched for the words to wrap my explanation, but as I snapped to I realized where I was looking and immediately lost my train of thought as a result of my panic. I fumbled some words and wrapped the question with some unrelated nonsense. To say the least it was awkward and as you all are already probably assuming, I did not even receive the "We regret to inform you" follow-up email. Harsh, but definitely warranted for that gaffe haha

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Aug 23, 2018

Lmao she must have been a straight dime for you to lose your attention like that

Women are a hell of a lot better at noticing when guys are checking them out than vice versa

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Aug 24, 2018
therealgekko:

Lmao she must have been a straight dime for you to lose your attention like that

Women are a hell of a lot better at noticing when guys are checking them out than vice versa

I had an awkward interview where the interviewer wore a short skirt (she was a manager as well - cute) and we walked into a room with a bunch of tables and plush chairs and a couch and she said "where would you like to sit?" I was cognizant of the skirt, so said the table. I grabbed a chair at the table (they were like bar stools, high table, 2 seater). She said, "oh its ok, we can sit in the chairs, they are really comfortable."

So she sits in this big cushy chair (they were cloth); they were comfortable. But, we were directly facing each other with no table over us and I could basically see right up her skirt. She didn't sit forward and put her knees down or anything and didn't cross her legs and it was very hard for me to focus on the conversation and interview as I could swear she was wearing bright orange or neon pink underwear. As she didn't sit forward in the chair, her ass went down and her crotch was basically in my face. In my vision. There was a bright blob of color the whole time in my peripherals. I couldn't tell if she was just doing this because she was bored/horny or just purely absent minded, but it was very distracting and she seemed not to be aware of it until 10 minutes into the interview and then she visibly looked uncomfortable (she set up this whole situation - doesn't she use this conference room frequently? Or maybe doesn't wear skirts often? I guess not).

Then she started noticeably shifting back and forth and crossing her legs in different ways (trying to make it better, I guess?), but it just made it worse. I felt very uncomfortable and have no issues with being around chicks like that, just not in an INTERVIEW, so kind of wanted to just leave as she was being awkward now, making me feel even more out of place. The whole time we are being professional in words, no hint of anything else. Total elephant in the room.

I definitely gave good answers to her questions, but my rhythm and enthusiasm were a bit off. The words were there, but my peripheral vision for most of that interview was of her basically flashing me for half an hour.

This interview was a decade ago, but I have often wondered why she acted that way. I feel sometimes in professional situations, chicks act sexual and deny it and then it is your fault if you act differently or something. Its like a power trip. In retrospect, I think it was very unprofessional of her to do that. Maybe it was an oversight, but if it is her building, her company's room, and her legs and skirt, she has to have some idea of what is happening.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

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Aug 23, 2018

Aside from fumbling around, could you tell she noticed you checking out her rack? If so, at some point it might just be worth committing: "Ma'am, I have seen a lot of lopsided breasts, but yours are the most proportional ones I've ever seen"

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Aug 23, 2018

We made direct eye contact as I brought my eyes up from her chest. I could see just by looking at her that she was thinking "Is this kid seriously staring at my boobs in a fucking interview?" And yes, she was attractive but I didn't even mean to which is the worst part, I was letting my eyes space/randomly wander a little while I explained something and they wound up right on her chest... but oh well lol. Learn and let live.

    • 2
Aug 24, 2018

Final round interview with case study in dream job buy-side ER: "Why did you leave your first job in valuations"? "I found the work too boring and was essentially an excel monkey churning through models without thought".

Started back pedaling immediately afterwards when I realized what I said and how I would essentially be doing a ton of valuation modeling work there. I still cringe every time I think about it.

Could have definitely said the same thing but in a more professional manner. Needless to say, no job offer.

    • 1
Aug 24, 2018

I was only 19 then, first interview ever in my life for this small firm. Waited for the interby viewer in the room, he came inside with a bottle of water. Pretty nervous. He said 'would you like...' I thought he was going to say 'some water' so after he finished his sentence I instinctually said 'no I'm okay'. But what he said was 'would you like to sit down' ......... He was shocked my answer...

YZ

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Aug 24, 2018

"I want to work for a company with a more aristocratic work culture."

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Aug 23, 2018

Is that a dig at senior (senior citizens) partners

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Aug 24, 2018

I think I wanted to say I want to work in a meritocratic work environment or something along those lines.... but that's not what I said.

Aug 24, 2018

Mistake 1

When in a final round interview with the London team of one of the largest and most well respected US equity fund managers, with the job largely in the bag, they ask me my view on the airline industry in general, and in particular, low cost, short haul. I'm already aware at this point that it's a crap industry to invest in due to it being hyper competitive with few available means of competitive advantage other than cost, and I certainly could have given the usual platitudes and walked the interview over the line... but no.

Instead, I opt to talk about quantitative easing and the amount of money that is being pushed into the system. I explain that I see short haul air travel declining in the future as kerosene prices get more expensive and inflation erodes Joe Public's bank balance. I explain that rail travel is the future due to its more efficient use of natural resources, and although this seems far fetched now, that I think with an attitude shift it could quite easily happen. e.g. France is the size of Texas... how many people fly from one city in Texas to another? etc

Mistake 2

Interviewing for a large UK based equity fund manager, the conversation somehow turns to ethical investments. I'm asked how I feel about them and I respond by saying that the market is hard enough to beat as it is, I don't want to have to start worrying about how ethical my investments are whilst also hoping to outperform. Ok so far...

The subject then turns to Tobacco stocks and how I feel about them... I can't quite remember how it came up, but essentially I started discussion how Philip Morris pays beautiful woman in skimpy clothes to hand out free packs of cigarettes to kids on the beaches of places like Thailand (or they certainly used to). I explained that whilst I thought this was obviously immoral, it was quite impressive that they are seeking to build a customer base for 10 years down the line whilst also developing their competitive advantage through establishing "share of mind" in these kids.

Mistake 3

Whilst I realise I shouldn't have said these things in interview, I'm still not sure if I was wrong to think them. Note that I never made it into equity fund management.

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Aug 24, 2018

1 is so autistic/correct. Mad feels my guy.

Aug 24, 2018

2 Jogged my memory a littlebit.

While interviewing for SA at an EB/RX during the O&G downturn (real elite shit) the Associate asked me to pitch him a tobacco company. Given the fact that both myself and the office focused exclusively on oil and gas I thought my answer was pretty complete and well articulated. He pressed me on growth drivers and I referred to growth coming primarily from the third world as anti-smoking campaigns are an integral part of American culture at this point. It was a laugh-riot (for him). He literally started yelling at his colleagues across the office that I had called it the third world and called his analysts into the office and ordered them to laugh. He then told me to refer to it as EMEA, or something similarly stupid. Ended up getting the superday, where I proceeded to get dinged on an RX technical I should have known :C

Still not totally sure whether he or I was more abnormal. I may have gotten credit for the way I handled is insanity? I heard EBs have more of this sub-frat-tier hazing so maybe it was that.

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Aug 24, 2018

Well, EMEA and countries commonly referred to as "third-world" are not the same at all. If he was trying to correct you, "developing nations" is probably closer to the PC/bullsh*t term.

Idiotic on his part, as if semantics impact the quality of investment analysis outside of accurate communication.

"well thank god your feelings aren't a fucking priority here"

    • 1
Aug 24, 2018

This is fucking gold; I'd love to work with you lol.

"one for the money two for the better green 3 4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine" - M.F. Doom

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Aug 24, 2018

In response to the question "Why do you want to stay in investment banking?" I jokingly said, "I like telling girls in bars that I'm a banker." Guy promptly wrapped up the interview after that....

    • 3
Aug 24, 2018

Dream Interview with T2 Consulting Firm

Senior Manager: Good morning, how are you doing?
Me: nervous says Great things are going well.
Senior Manager: How are things at school?
Me: I'm doing great, just trying to figure out why my broccoli is going bad.
Senior Manager: blank stare for 15 seconds

For the life of me, I can not tell you why my mind went to the rotting broccoli in my fridge. Needless to say, I did not move onto the final round.

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Aug 24, 2018
Jeffrey-Zhao:

Dream Interview with T2 Consulting Firm

Senior Manager: Good morning, how are you doing?
Me: nervous says Great things are going well.
Senior Manager: How are things at school?
Me: I'm doing great, just trying to figure out why my broccoli is going bad.
Senior Manager: blank stare for 15 seconds

For the life of me, I can not tell you why my mind went to the rotting broccoli in my fridge. Needless to say, I did not move onto the final round.

You led the manager onto a cliffhanger.. that thing needed a soft landing, at least.

    • 1
Aug 24, 2018

Cannot banter through awkward interactions with senior managers... not sure about consulting here

"well thank god your feelings aren't a fucking priority here"

Aug 24, 2018

Actually tho - real concern. I was definitely extremely nervous for that interview haha

Aug 24, 2018

Interview for a summer internship with a boutique IB my junior year

MD is asking me technical question after technical question; I swiftly answer each one and in the middle of one my answers he abruptly asks me: "What's my name?"

I completely blanked and looked at his table for a business card, name plate, around the office for anything that could give me a hint. Nothing.

".....Justin?"

His name was Jeremy. GG

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Nov 25, 2018

Wow I actually really like this one. A good measure of awareness/ability to think in stressful situations.

Would be extra cruel if he never actually mentioned his name.

Aug 24, 2018

One of my hobbies were drinking Whiskey on the weekends and trying to expand my palet...lol

This was last week for a multinational company smh

Aug 24, 2018

Interviewer is asking me some probability questions and one of which was along the lines of "if you put 2 bullets in a revolver and pull the trigger what are the odds that the next trigger pull fires a round" or something of that variation. I knew it was supposed to be a % out of available chambers but instead I start explaining it based on how revolvers actually work (double action vs single action etc). Did not get a return call.

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Sep 2, 2018

had the same question. JP NY?

Aug 24, 2018

So I'm interviewing for this Transaction Management position (still have no idea what they do) and was feeling myself...

Interviewer: So why do you not want to go in investment banking?

Me: Because I think all they do is twiddle their fingers in the middle of the day while they wait for comments. (thinking that this was a great answer to get some culture fit points)

Interviewer: ... (Complete silence for the next 5 seconds)

After 2 minutes of formalities, call abruptly ends without a goodbye

This really backfired in my face and I really should have never brought up the M&I article about the cons of investment banking...

Aug 24, 2018

I would have 100% given you the job.

Probably would have started you as an experienced hire if you had followed up with.
"I'm just kidding about all that, I just needed to stall for time in order to calculate. The answer is x."

Aug 24, 2018

Saying I didn't apply to a non-target because I knew I wouldn't get in even though both of my parents are alumni...

The boss keeps telling me that's why he hired me every time we get drinks (after two years) but sheeeesh.

Aug 24, 2018

Them: "Why not consulting?"
Me: "Because IB pays better"

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Aug 24, 2018

That's not that bad. I once told someone in an investment banking interview (to move from M&A to a capital raising position in the Private Funds Group) that I primarily wanted the job because they work fewer hours.

Them: "Why do you want to move into our group?"
Me: "You guys make as much or more money and work fewer hours. It seems like a good trade."
Them: (Side eye + not impressed)

The thing is--that was the truth, and I would have killed it in that job. But you sometimes just have to lie a little.

    • 1
Aug 24, 2018

In an on-campus interview once I asked the two interviewers if it was pronounced "LaGuardia" or LinGuardia" --- Didn't get the job

    • 1
Aug 24, 2018

Read the old post and this one. Thought of some of my stories.

Undergrad interview to get into Wharton - guy was nice. I was asking questions about the party scene and how things were in College. Drinking etc... Did not get into Wharton as an undergrad.

Interviewing at ML, proceed to choke on water. Almost died. We joked that it would have been awkard to explain to the other BB I was working at that I had died in their office. Not really a big deal, more a pain in the ass to have to deal with this when you are interviewing (got the job, didn't accept)

Interviewing with an MD from GS. Proceed to shit on my team and tell him how much I don't like my current boss at my BB. Head hunter proceeds to tell me that said MD didn't like that...

I met so many douche bags interviewing in trading - I am sure I did more fucked up shit but can't recall it all.

    • 1
Aug 24, 2018

Walking into the office of the interviewer, being escorted by a very flirty Adriana Lima look-alike assistant:

Interviewer: Good Morning. The trains were terrible today, I'm impressed you actually made it in on time.
Me (still checking out her ass while she's walking away with exaggeration, knowing full well I'm looking at it): Doing great, thanks, how are you?!
Interviewer: Everything alright, you seem distracted?
Me (clearly I can see he's on to me as to why I'm "distracted"): That assistant is incredibly sexy and she seems very friendly - how do you get any work done?
Interviewer (after a 20 second pause and visibly angry) She's my niece!!!
Me: Ah ok, thank you for you time... (walked up and left)

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Aug 24, 2018
the_gekko:

Walking into the office of the interviewer, being escorted by a very flirty Adriana Lima look-alike assistant:

Interviewer: Good Morning. The trains were terrible today, I'm impressed you actually made it in on time.
Me (still checking out her ass while she's walking away with exaggeration, knowing full well I'm looking at it): Doing great, thanks, how are you?!
Interviewer: Everything alright, you seem distracted?
Me (clearly I can see he's on to me as to why I'm "distracted"): That assistant is incredibly sexy and she seems very friendly - how do you get any work done?
Interviewer (after a 20 second pause and visibly angry) She's my niece!!!
Me: Ah ok, thank you for you time... (walked up and left)

If you really said "That assistant is incredibly sexy and she seems very friendly - how do you get any work done?" you are not the brightest

    • 5
Aug 24, 2018

I most certainly did. Living life with the brain making all the decisions all the time is much too boring - you got to let the cock n' balls lead the way every now and again or what's the point of a testosterone producing man to even get out of bed in the morning?

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Aug 24, 2018

No, you didn't.

"well thank god your feelings aren't a fucking priority here"

    • 1
Aug 24, 2018

Some years ago head of the quant group asked me to interview a candidate. The guy is fresh PhD from MIT nuclear engineering or something impressive like that. We chat, I like the guy. Eventually, I ask "if you have no background in finance, how are you planning to learn?". The guy said (I quote!): "I have a phd in nuclear engineering, whatever you know I'll know in 3 months".

    • 11
Aug 23, 2018

Gotta love the confidence. What happened afterwards?

    • 1
Aug 25, 2018

I guess we'll know in 3 months.

    • 6
Aug 24, 2018
therealgekko:

Gotta love the confidence. What happened afterwards?

I thought it was fairly amusing. The next interviewer destroyed the guy on technical questions though, so it did not matter.

Aug 24, 2018

Me: Trying to pitch my data entry job for a slum-lord as genuine real estate investing experience to my interviewer at a premier REIT

Interviewer: Uh, nice, what asset class did you work on?

Me: Uh, they were REITs

Interviewer: What?

Me: They were like, REITs, same thing as here. Trusts of properties owned by outside investors.

Interviewer: No, what asset class. Multifamily, Retail, Industrial?

Me: I'm not exactly sure what you mean but we'd generally just lease out homes to people and then sometimes let them buy the property after a few years.

Interviewer: What type of property did your firm buy?

Me: Houses, our asset class was houses.

    • 16
Aug 27, 2018

ROFL. Funniest thing I've read all day.

Aug 27, 2018

Name checks out.

Aug 31, 2018

lol at "data entry job for a slum-lord"

Aug 25, 2018

Interviewer: "Best of luck throughout recruiting season"
Me: "Thanks, you too"

    • 13
Sep 4, 2018

On par with replying to the 'have a nice flight' from airport ticket counter employees with 'you too!'

Aug 31, 2018

I had an interview with Ernst and Young's forensic accounting group my junior year of college (pre-Finance days). First of all, I showed up 15 mins late to the interview because I put the time in my phone incorrectly. Then the interview begins and the interviewer asks "So what do you know about the FIDS group (i.e. Forensic & Dispute Services)?" I response "isn't this an EY interview...???" She responds by defining the acronym as if every other interviewer at least visited their website once. The interview lasted another 10 mins and I left knowing I wouldn't get a return email or call.

Surprisingly, I received an offer for a second round interview in a more prestigious office... Needless to say, I immediately lost all respect for EY because I wouldn't have hired me in that situation.

    • 4
Sep 5, 2018

Lmao the classic "Are this girls standards so low that she'd hit on me? Can't be having that."

    • 2
Aug 31, 2018

I had an interview where I was extremely aggressive like "if you had $1M, where would you put it?" the poor lady from Yale was like "wait who the fuck is doing the interviewing here"?

    • 1
Aug 31, 2018

Interviewer: "So tell me, how does Uber make money. Are they profitable?"

Me: "tbh I don't keep up with the stock, but"

Instantaneous ding.

    • 2
Aug 31, 2018

Interview with a "middle office job" for ML in Jacksonville a couple months after graduation. I read the job description I applied for and it seemed to be an incredibly general blob of non-sense. So i just prepared general market knowledge stuff and drove up from South Florida.

Mid way throw the 2 on 1 interview, the girl seemed very nice and liked me(for the job) and out of no where the 2nd defender jumps in and hits me with the easiest softball question imaginable.

"Can you describe the process behind a corporate action?"

Me not prepared for this at all and completely blanking on the blindside question from a guy that didn't say a word besides hello when I walked into the room: "Corporate actions?"

2nd man in sensing a kill: sarcastically lists a couple types of corporate action type then slams his note book and looks out the window.

The lady jumps in a saves the horrible dead air in the room and asks me if I'd be willing to move to Jacksonville.

I give the most bullshit answer saying I liked living in florida but would like to get out of my home town and college town so it was the "Perfect Fit" for me.

As expected I never heard from those people again. lol

Aug 31, 2018

interviewer asked "how would you colleagues describe you"
response: "strange"

interviewer shuffled her papers and said well I think that wraps things up

    • 1
Aug 31, 2018

Interviewed for an investment analyst position right out of undergrad at a buy-side firm. "Has anyone ever been fired? If so, how did the culture change and how did the team cope with the loss?" Obviously made me made me look like a liability lmao. Sometimes it's just best to listen and smile.

Sep 1, 2018

"Whats your major?"
Macro trading.

"What's a word that your friends would use to describe you?"
Lunatic.

Both for the same interview at a tier-1 hedge fund. Got the job.

    • 4
Aug 31, 2018

Pure gold, well executed.

Sep 2, 2018

Had an interview for a Corp Fin Summer Internship in New Jersey and was asked "What's your least favorite part of the program?" My reply, "It's in New Jersey." Needless to say, did not get the offer.

    • 1
Sep 4, 2018

Not me but still funny. Colleague of a family member (both work in banking) was interviewing this kid for an analyst position. She asks the age-old question 'Why IB?'. This kid goes on to say 'Because I want to be rich and be recognised at famous bars and restaurants'. Not sure if he was joking but it was the answer to the FIRST question of the interview. As soon as he finished his sentence the interviewer said 'Thanks for coming it, we can end the interview now'. Probably the quickest interview the kid has ever been a part of

Sep 4, 2018

Interviewing at a boutique M&A shop.

Interviewer: Why do you want to get work in M&A?

Me: Explanation of how I find the work to be both substantial and meaningful and that the impacts of what I do are tangible, and that's something I can take pride in.

Interviewer: You realize that during most mergers, people tend to lose their jobs, would you say you are proud of that?

Me: I think that's a small price to pay.

Later at a second interview with the same firm, we're talking about a trade organization in a certain industry. The organization's acronym just happens to be ISIS. When the interview er says that he "read the latest ISIS report", I started chuckling. He just stared at me blankly for 10 seconds and sipped his water.

Still got the job, but did not accept the offer. Overall, it was a great shop though and I wouldn't be opposed to working for them in the future.

"Work ethic, work ethic" - Vince Vaughn
Sep 5, 2018

Not something I said, but after I was hired for a sales and trading job in London, I had been told by the hiring manager that one of my competitors had thought he was interviewing for an IBD role.
oooops.
And they had flown all 3 of us finalists over from California to London for interviews.
I don't know how he made it to final round with that misconception.
Or maybe he just mis-expressed himself or mis-spoke during the interview.
Or MAYBE he just managed to scam a free plane ticket and hotel to London, and just was like "F- these dorks, I'm not working here. I'm just pulling the ripcord on this process right now."
I'd like to think it was the last one. Last laugh is his then.

    • 2
Sep 5, 2018

I feel like people overestimate their competition. Yes, FO in banking is competitive, but along the way there will be people that focus so much on other things that they forget the basic things along the way.

    • 1
Sep 5, 2018
justphresh:

I feel like people overestimate their competition. Yes, FO in banking is competitive, but along the way there will be people that focus so much on other things that they forget the basic things along the way.

I dunno. Maybe.
I just run my own race.
Besides I don't want to think of others as 'competition' since I want us all to be collaborative and team-oriented.
He's a hella nice guy so I would have preferred they'd hire us both so that we could have been co-work buddies.
Ah well...

    • 1
Sep 5, 2018

True story.
I interviewed a kid for analyst.
First question: "why IBD?"
"Because I want to know about upcoming mergers so I can stock trade on the information."
I had no answer to that. No follow up.
I wanted to say "ok, +1 for honesty, -100 for being an idiot and admitting to me you're a serious security risk and need to have security take you out from this building before regulators burn us down."
I just kind of looked at him and was just... um, ok let's just softball the next few questions and get this dude out of here asap.

    • 2
Sep 19, 2018

Made an off hand joke about how I thought fast food cashiers were kind of scummy and I didn't like having to talk to them and want their jobs to be replaced by automation. Not in those exact words but implied I thought that way heavily. Put my hand over my mouth and stopped talking halfway through the sentence. Interviewer laughed, agreed with me, proceeded to start talking about how happy he was a Republican got elected, and we ended up having great rapport from there on out.

I got the job, and I currently work there.

Nov 26, 2018

You seem really cool.

Sep 19, 2018
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