Investment Banks as the Houses of Westeros - Game of Thrones (GoT)

In honor of GoT S7 premiering next month, I'd like to pose a simple question to the WSO community. If the investment banks were the Houses of Westeros, which would they be?

My Opinion:

Goldman Sachs/House Lannister - the "old money" in Westeros and currently crushing the league tables/ruling the seven kingdoms; despised by most of the other houses for their continued dominance and placing loyal members in key positions of government

Morgan Stanley/House Tyrell - Challenging the Lannisters for supremacy with equally old money and family name but alas still second best

JP Morgan/House Targaryen - An old, powerful name that has seen significant success in recent years (post financial crises); has upended the balance of power rising to the top of league tables using a bevy of powerful new tools i.e. massive, fire-breathing dragons/balance sheets

BAML/House Stark - Another old name(ML) whose alliance with the wildlings(BofA) has resulted in recent success through the use of powerful new tools including giants/massive balance sheets but still trying to figure out how to use new alliance to topple other ruling families/banks

Credit Suisse/House Martell - A strong platform competing with all the other families in the seven kingdoms/USA but still something oddly foreign about them; tried to integrate by marrying into the royal family(Elia and Rhaegar)/buying First Boston but with mixed success

Barclays/House Tully - As a result of questionable alliances i.e. marriage into Houses Stark and Arryn/purchase of Lehman's US banking business, Barclays has seen better days

Citi/House Arryn - Old powerful name (Saloman Bros) that has sat out most of the War of the Five Kings/financial crises wheeling and dealing to lick its wounds; now middle of the road with new leadership i.e. Peter Baelish/Michael Corbat and seeking to reassert dominance

Deutsche/House Greyjoy - Crises of leadership in recent years i.e. step down of Jain & Fitschen/death of Balon Greyjoy along with a refusal to play by the rules i.e. manipulation of LIBOR etc./raiding and pillaging of the North has resulted in a beatdown

UBS/House Baratheon - Oh how the mighty have fallen; Once, one of the most powerful families in Westeros, significant talent losses i.e. Robert, Stannis and Renly deaths/Blair Effron and Ken Moelis departures as well as a refusal to play by the rules i.e. forex manipulation/human sacrifices has resulted in obliteration

Thoughts? Comments? Criticism?

Mod Note (Andy): top 50 posts of 2017, this one ranks #2 (based on # of silver bananas)

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Comments (71)

Jun 8, 2017

This is hilarious. +SB

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Jun 8, 2017

There is some serious thought that went into this. Well done

Jun 9, 2017

Awesome. SBed you.

    • 1
Best Response
Jun 9, 2017

Winter = Fintech

    • 114
Jun 13, 2017

LOL.... Had a good laugh at this.

Nov 19, 2017

And it's coming... haha

Does the Tiger fire the Monkey? Does the Tiger transfer the Monkey to another branch?

    • 1
Jun 9, 2017

Was expecting this to be completely lame, but instead I'm pretty impressed. Well done.

    • 1
Jun 15, 2017

i've never seen you speak so highly of a post

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Jun 15, 2017
AndyLouis:

i've never seen you speak so highly of a post

Then you haven't been paying attention.

    • 1
Jun 9, 2017

Great read for this Friday morning Sb'ed!

Jun 9, 2017

Well thought out +SB...wonder if you could throw some EBs into the mix though

Jun 9, 2017

Bear Stearns = Dothraki... powerful, savage horde joined to House Targaryen?

    • 6
Jun 9, 2017

Lehman would have to be house Bolton then...

Cheer up, Bateman. What's the matter? No shiatsu this morning?

    • 2
Jun 9, 2017

I work with a bunch of ex-Lehman guys. From what I've heard, House Bolton sounds about right.

    • 1
Jun 9, 2017

I was honestly shocked that no one had done this already....

    • 1
Jun 9, 2017

I love this. Tickling my GoT itch, the hype is real!

Who are the white walkers?

"This world, it is a tempest sometimes. But remember, the sun always rises again."
-- Brandon Sanderson

    • 1
Jun 9, 2017

RBC/BMO cause Canada and things.

Cheer up, Bateman. What's the matter? No shiatsu this morning?

    • 4
Jun 9, 2017

Wells Fargo/Braavos (Iron Bank) - Large balance sheet, little influence, in some weird far off land.

Cheer up, Bateman. What's the matter? No shiatsu this morning?

    • 15
Jun 9, 2017

Ah, the weird far off land of Charlotte.

    • 5
Jun 9, 2017

You do realize that WF is based in San Fransisco right........

Jun 9, 2017

Pretty sure you have less of an idea of what you're talking about. Great job.

    • 8
Jun 9, 2017

literally google WF right now or even better since clearly you're retarded, this is a screenshot from the WF website - note how it says "we're headquartered in San Fransisco"

If you're talking about Wachovia's legacy business and the number of WF employees in Charlotte, sure yeah they have a big presence, but the West Coast and Midwest is where their business is strongest.

    • 13
Jun 9, 2017

Alright dude. Sure the retail operations HQ matters more. You're a sharp one.

    • 6
Jun 9, 2017

I mean Tim Sloan and the entire executive team is run out of SF. Most of the group heads are in SF too. Idk why you're being so smug about this, you're just blatantly wrong.

    • 2
Jun 10, 2017

Regardless of what you're googling up, their investment banking and capital markets activities and leadership aren't based out of SF.

    • 4
Jun 10, 2017

The corporation/retail are SF, Cap Markets and IB are Charlotte via Wells Fargo Securities.

Cheer up, Bateman. What's the matter? No shiatsu this morning?

    • 3
Jun 13, 2017

Wells Fargo securities major hubs are Charlotte, New York, San Francisco, and Houston. In that order.

    • 1
Jun 13, 2017

Actually not sure id count Houston as a hub no offense to Houston but the first three definitely have multiple groups

Dec 29, 2017

Most of the ib is in Charlotte

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Jun 10, 2017

This is amazing, there should be a show on this (such as Game of Zones on the NBA)

    • 1
Jun 10, 2017

Lloyd Blankfein as Tywin Lannister is so oddly fitting.

    • 4
Jun 10, 2017

This is genius

Jun 10, 2017

hahahah love it!

Jun 11, 2017

SEC = Wight Walkers, Preet Bharara could've been the Night King
WSJ = Varys. Impotent media outlet

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."

    • 1
Jun 11, 2017

Lazard is like Slavers Bay. The analysts there are treated worse than the unsullied if I'm not mistaken.

    • 10
Jun 11, 2017

Fitting username

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."

    • 1
Jun 11, 2017

should be called Game of Loans

    • 14
Jun 11, 2017

Who is the many faced God? And The Lord of Light?

Jun 12, 2017

Dolen Trump for Many Faced God. Too many variant, and often contradictory, opinions on the same topic.
Putin for Lord of Light.

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."

Jun 13, 2017

White Walkers = Incoming Tech Startups coming back for another round following the Dot Com Boom

Jun 13, 2017

Macquarie/Dothraki - Apparently they're powerful over in their own continent, but on the main land either you haven't heard of them or think of them as barbaric foreigners who sound weird.

    • 11
Jun 17, 2017

SB for quality.
In Australia - a dominant powerhouse.
Outside of Australia - relatively unknown.

'I'm jacked... JACKED TO THE TITS!!'

Jun 14, 2017

this is what happens when the intern has too much time on his hands... somebody get this man a model to build lol

    • 3
Jun 14, 2017

Well done

Jun 15, 2017

You've hit fnlondon.com with this post

    • 3
Jun 15, 2017

Wtf this is crazy...i did this in like an hour while trying to fall asleep. Thanks for the support guys!

    • 3
Jun 15, 2017

yeah thanks for the post! big hit on the site (will probably have 15k+ views by next week)

WSO's COO (Chief Operating Orangutan) | My story | My Linkedin

Jun 16, 2017

Lord of Light = Warren Buffet

    • 3
Jun 16, 2017

Investment banks might have been game of thrones pre financial crisis, now with their changed cultures and low returns, they are more like the show "girls". Goldman Sachs is Lena Dunham, Citibank is shoshanna.

Jun 16, 2017

Purchase of Lehman Bros' banking business was the best decision Barclays has made. Selling of BGI to BlackRock was the worst.

Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes.
Jun 16, 2017

House Clegane - Moelis. No explanation required.

The Unsullied - PJT

Jun 16, 2017

Hahaha love it! Take dem bananas.

Jun 16, 2017

House Mormont/Simmons & Co

Small House, rule the Bear Island (Energy M&A)

    • 2
Jun 17, 2017

Bear would have been House Bolton..those guys were real cowboys who didn't give a you know what.

Jun 17, 2017

that must've taken a long time to put all this together. SB.

I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing.

See my Blog & AMA

Jun 17, 2017

Haha very well done!

SEC = High Sparrow

BB, Associate, Coverage

    • 1
Jun 17, 2017

As if this site wasn't nerdy enough. Like the markets we are reaching new all-time highs everyday.

    • 1
Jun 18, 2017

A winner +1

"Elections are a futures market for stolen property"

Jun 18, 2017

Castle Black - Jefferies

Jun 18, 2017

Government Sachs=Varys

Finding its way into every regime, always asserting influence no matter who's on top.

Jun 19, 2017

HSBC = Qarth
BNP = Lys (trading house known for exotics)
Fed = Maester Order =(secret order with mysterious influences with every house), Oldtown and the Citadel is FOMC/FRBNY
RBS = Night's Watch (once a proud financial powerhouse/down to 135 men)

Lehman = Freys ( since the twins are super important to westeros)
PBOC = Volantis/Bravoos Iron Bank (financial superpower outside of westeros)

Jun 19, 2017

Qatalyst - Qyburn - was once part of the order, kicked out, but has now found his way back in...

    • 1
Aug 2, 2017

Very accurate!

Aug 9, 2017

Jamie Dimon referred to as the "Khaleesi of Wall Street"....you can't make this shit up

http://dealbreaker.com/2017/08/if-jamie-dimon-isnt...

Aug 10, 2017

Who would be the Dothraki Horde?

"All men are alike in their dreams, and all men are alike in the promises
they make. The difference is what they do."-- Jean Baptiste Moliere

Aug 14, 2017

Cheer up, Bateman. What's the matter? No shiatsu this morning?

Nov 19, 2017

The question then becomes what is the Battle of the Bastards and what is the Red Wedding?

Does the Tiger fire the Monkey? Does the Tiger transfer the Monkey to another branch?

Nov 30, 2017

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Dec 29, 2017
Jan 5, 2018

"If you're afraid - don't do it, if you're doing it - don't be afraid!"
-- Genghis Khan

Jul 27, 2018