ITT: Lets complain about shitty coworkers.

Never in my life have I met someone I disliked more than one of my current coworkers. He's a second year in my FLDP (i'm a first year) and consistently tries to act like my boss.

He tries to pawn off his work on me, checks up on me (regularly walking around my desk to see what's on my computer screen), acts as if he knows things that he doesn't have a clue about (I'm working on a valuation, he's never done one, still incorrectly and unsolicited adds his input every chance he gets), sends emails out about typos/formatting he doesn't like in newsletters/other emails, is passive aggressive when you disagree with him, generally brown noses to our bosses in the most obvious ways, and then tells stories about his female conquests (he's not good looking, in shape, and probably has aspergers).

I'm sure we all have similar stories about awful coworkers. So lets hear some good ones.

 

Similar... I would hate when this one guy would constantly come and look over my shoulder, and he would always sneak up right before when he knew I'd be taking lunch and try to hop on that shit with me-- Believe me, I don't always want to include you. Plus, he would never stop talking about his "Asian Girlfriend"- i.e. "Dude, my Asian Girlfriend's mother says I'm not a man.... What do I do??" Just like that. Included "Asian" description every time. Add some rank breath and obnoxious black/grey dress shirts and you start to see it.

"That dude is so haole, he don't even have any breath left."
 

Shitty coworkers you say?

I've seen one of my coworkers shit his pants twice. We actually had to clean human shit up off the hallway floor. He's good to messily shit himself at least once a year.

 

i have one that i think is legitimately mentally challenged...asks the same stuff every single day, does things wrongs, does stuff late, and when he actually does something on time, you have to ask him if it's done, he gets all aggro and says yea it was done X minutes ago, but never told anyone.

plus, i think he eats dog food for lunch, or at least thats what it smells like

he's also the guy that sneaks up for lunch, at least was, until someone threatened to bash their keyboard over his head

I eat success for breakfast...with skim milk
 

Speaking of sneaking up on lunch. One of the other FLDPers and myself go to lunch a decent amount (though, I usually go to the gym) and we've actually started trying to sneak out the back stairs so we can avoid this guy so he doesn't try to join in. Also, if we have a work event off site, he tries to volunteer me to drive him. I always sneak out then, too.

Bro, I would rather take 12 flights of stairs then risking seeing you at the elevator. Things are not good.

 
AllDay_028:
Speaking of sneaking up on lunch. One of the other FLDPers and myself go to lunch a decent amount (though, I usually go to the gym) and we've actually started trying to sneak out the back stairs so we can avoid this guy so he doesn't try to join in. Also, if we have a work event off site, he tries to volunteer me to drive him. I always sneak out then, too.

Bro, I would rather take 12 flights of stairs then risking seeing you at the elevator. Things are not good.

LOL no.... things are not good.

I feel like at some point you've got to just tell it like it is though. I don't like feeling like I am sneaking around or avoiding someone, so eventually I just told the dude that I like solitude during my break... He got it, and it made a world of difference.

"That dude is so haole, he don't even have any breath left."
 
Best Response
FeelingMean:
AllDay_028:
Speaking of sneaking up on lunch. One of the other FLDPers and myself go to lunch a decent amount (though, I usually go to the gym) and we've actually started trying to sneak out the back stairs so we can avoid this guy so he doesn't try to join in. Also, if we have a work event off site, he tries to volunteer me to drive him. I always sneak out then, too.

Bro, I would rather take 12 flights of stairs then risking seeing you at the elevator. Things are not good.

LOL no.... things are not good.

I feel like at some point you've got to just tell it like it is though. I don't like feeling like I am sneaking around or avoiding someone, so eventually I just told the dude that I like solitude during my break... He got it, and it made a world of difference.

There are so many things I want to say to him, not sure it would be wise to do so lol.

 

One of my coworkers routinely hides or removes my desk, places my personal effects in jello and vending machines, and tampers with my phone and computer.

Making money is art and working is art and good business is the best art - Andy Warhol
 
dwight schrute:
One of my coworkers routinely hides or removes my desk, places my personal effects in jello and vending machines, and tampers with my phone and computer.

That's like me saying my campers just can't keep their little piggy snouts shut

I eat success for breakfast...with skim milk
 

Had a friend in an extremely similar situation. Once his boss started dating some unfortunate soul, she became an entirely different person. She was divorced and single for several years prior to that.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into SWANSONS.
 
Flake:
Had a friend in an extremely similar situation. Once his boss started dating some unfortunate soul, she became an entirely different person. She was divorced and single for several years prior to that.

That's exactly what I think it is. She hates the women in the office, because they're prettier and younger. So much negative energy.

 

While I don't hate my colleagues, their lack of ambition is starting to annoy me. I try to stay away from work as much as possible (I work 8-5), and I use my full hour for lunch to study for the CFA in the library. Half of them (incl. my boss) come in at like 9:30.

 

Don't give this guy shit for were he does or doesn't work; he's calling out for some empathy. Yes, that does sound fucking horrific. I would recommend finding a new job with every free moment you have.

Ace all your PE interview questions with the WSO Private Equity Prep Pack: http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/guide/private-equity-interview-prep-questions
 

They probably think of you as the obnoxious, hard ass guy that doesn't have any friends (e.g. goes to study on his lunch hour and condescends all the time).

Based on your spelling / grammar (you are misspelling the easy words by more than a few letters), your attitude, and the fact that you picked this job, consider reflecting.

 
ibes_answer:
They probably think of you as the obnoxious, hard ass guy that doesn't have any friends (e.g. goes to study on his lunch hour and condescends all the time).

Based on your spelling / grammar (you are misspelling the easy words by more than a few letters), your attitude, and the fact that you picked this job, consider reflecting.

total opposite..they all want to be my friends.im not a hard ass at all, in fact im very patient but it certainly seems like you're an idiot. i dont study on my lunch hour, im one of the only guys who goes out for air, and who socializes. they ask me for all sorts of advice, whether its fashion, work or girls, and despite the fact that i wear earphones to ignore their moron conversations, they still dont stop

gota love the internet Freud trying to psychoanalyze ppl based on their posts. How do you expect to know what im like, if i never even described myself? And sorry for the english..its neither my working language nor my mother tongue. Im sure you speak more than one language though...

 

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