OFFICIAL prestige-caller 2018 prestige rankings

Most Prestigious Cities:

Gods of Prestige: New York, Hong Kong, London
Very Prestigious: Chicago, San Francisco, Singapore, Zurich, Frankfurt
Prestigious: Charlotte, Houston, Atlanta, Washington D.C., Boston
Meh: Los Angeles, Dallas, Miami, Minneapolis, Philadelphia
Fck Your Life: Baltimore, New Jersey (The whole fckin' state), Seattle, Kansas City, etc.

Most Prestigious Jobs:

Automatic HandJob: Hedge Fund Manager, Corp PE MegaFund Associate, Venture Capital Investor
Impress Your Girlfriend's Father: REPE Associate, Bulge Bracket Investment Banker, MBB Consultant, Quantitative Analyst, Bulge Bracket Sales & Trading
Worth a Hand-Job: REIT Associate, Wealth Manager, Boutique Investment Banker, Big 4 Consultant, F500 Corporate Finance, Investment Sales, Proprietary Trading
Even Your Own Mother's Not Impressed: Accountant, Operations, Back Office Tech Guy, Risk Staff, Brokerage

Most Prestigious Vacation Home Locations:

Primary WASP Market: Nantucket, Bridgehampton, Aspen, Maui
Limited Upper-Middle Class Riff-Raff: Martha's Vineyard, Easthampton, Palm Beach, Orange County, South Beach, Yosemite
Satisfactorily Gentrified: Vail/Keystone/Breckenridge, Charleston SC, Salt Lake City/Park City
What Are You, 16?: All MD/DE Beaches, Outer Banks, Smokey Mountains Cabins, Disney World,

Most Prestigious Universities

Divine Prestige: UVA
Peak Mortal Achievement: Ivy Leagues, MIT, Chicago, Williams
Commendable Prestige: Duke, UNC, Notre Dame, USC, Berkeley, Georgetown, Carnegie Mellon
Kinda Neat: Wake Forest, Vanderbilt, NYU, Michigan
Hope You Enjoyed High School, Failure: Georgia Tech, SEC Schools (Minus Vandy), Indiana, Wisconsin, Pretty Much All Public Schools Outside of the Top 10

Most Prestigious Methods of Transportation

Tired of Winning: Helicopter, Private Jet, Tesla
Incredibly Affluent: Sailboat, Yacht, Inter-Dimensional Time Travel (Best kept secret of the super-rich)
Prestigious Enough: European Sports Car, Motorboat, Doorless Antique Jeep, 1970s Muscle Car
Where Do You Work Again?: Mustang/Charger/Corvette, Pick-Up Truck, Hondas,

Most Prestigious Breakfasts

Diet of a King: Eggs Benedict With Caviar/Lox, Cup of Espresso and Cream, Fresh-Fruit Crepes With Gourmet Icing on Top
Breakfast of a Champ: Two Cups of Black Coffee On An Empty Stomach, Over-Easy Eggs with Fresh Sausage, French Sounding Pastries
Mildly Prestigious Way To Start The Day: Mimosas, Everything Bagel and Lox, Catered Breakfast at the Office, Leftovers From Last Nights Expensive Restaurant Dinner
Grow The F*ck Up Kid: Adderall (srsly, grow up), 5-Hour Energy, Red Bull, Anything Microwaved

2018 Fiscal Year Prestige Brackets By First Year Salary

Elite: $200,000+
BSD In Training: $150,000 - $199,999
Still Prestigious To the Common Man: $90,000 - $150,000
Child's Play: $65,000 - $90,000
Destined For Mediocrity (No One Will Ever Love You): WSO Prestige Rankings. Do you feel slighted? Degraded? Undervalued? Good, you should. That's it for tonight's presentation- and remember kids - no matter how prestigious you are, there is ALWAYS someone out there with more than you, and it is healthy to internalize the learned inferiority you feel from this.*

 
Best Response

Let me guess, you're a UVA grad working in Real Estate in Charlotte making roughly $90k and you're excited about driving your new basic package model 3 to your next vacation in Charleston.

"There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can't do business from there." - Colonel Sanders
 
Max Heiliger:
Let me guess, you're a UVA grad working in Real Estate in Charlotte making roughly $90k and you're excited about driving your new basic package model 3 to your next vacation in Charleston.

I created a mosaic theory with the same result, except my findings depicted him in a white convertible BMW 1 Series, wind in his hair riding down I-26 South (to Charleston).

UVA sticker on the bumper, no doubt. 80% chance boat shoes or pastel colors are involved.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 
Isaiah_53_5:
wind in his hair

Most Prestigious Haircuts

Vintage Finance Hair: American Psycho/Gordon Gekko Slick Back New Era Prestige: Combover (See Jared Kushner) Associate Cut: The Jew-Fro, Medium-Length Hair Pushed To The Side, Razor Thin Buzz Cut (See Jason Chathom) Back-Office Look: Receding Hairline Without A Buzzcut (Paired With A Brown Suit), Hair Long Enough To Hang, Completely Bald, The Man Bun

 
Max Heiliger:
Let me guess, you're a UVA grad working in Real Estate in Charlotte making roughly $90k and you're excited about driving your new basic package model 3 to your next vacation in Charleston.

Roasted. +SB

"A man can convince anyone he's somebody else, but never himself."
 

the lil son of a bitch probably isn't even in McIntire. His admission to UVA could be impressive had he been out of state, but he's probably just an upper middle class kid from souther VA. Even North Virginia high schooler admissions to UVA is a bit impressive, most likely from the south.

Oh yeah, kid also definitely didn't live on "The Lawn" as a senior.

Yea I know a thing or two about UVA. I got in, but fuck that place, because I went somewhere else, somewhere... PRESTIGIOUS!

We're not lawyers. We're investment bankers. We didn't go to Harvard. We Went to Wharton!
 
Controversial

I am asserting a prestige category above yours'.

Prestigious vehicles: Rusty Honda Hang Glider

Prestigious cities: Chicago Milwaukee Holland, MI***

Prestigious vacation destinations: Anywhere on Lake Michigan, especially the Sleeping Bear Dunes or Washington Island (Midwestern rednecks' Nantucket)

Prestigious schools: UIUC (duh) > Big Ten >>> UVA

Back to my hang glider and rusty honda. Enjoy your M-series and yacht.

 
BobTheBaker:
You went to Princeton, the most preftigious school there is imo (no MBA program adds more preftige). Don't act coy about your preftige credentials.

Princeton, the best engineering school in the Ivy League (which is not necessarily saying a great deal), changed its typset to use S in 1793. When are the rest of the liberal arts schools going to catch up?

Also, 2/3 of the grad students at Princeton did their undergrads at state schools. We'll let the undergrads keep the prestige, but state schoolers do much of the actual research behind that prestige. :-)

Seriously, I'm proud of my MFE, but I'm more proud of my UIUC Comp. Sci. undergrad-- the same way I think most grad students feel about their undergrads.

 
IlliniProgrammer:
I am asserting a prestige category above yours'.

Prestigious vehicles: Rusty Honda Hang Glider

Prestigious cities: Chicago Milwaukee Holland, MI***

Prestigious vacation destinations: Anywhere on Lake Michigan, especially the Sleeping Bear Dunes or Washington Island (Midwestern rednecks' Nantucket)

Prestigious schools: UIUC (duh) > Big Ten >>> UVA

Back to my hang glider and rusty honda. Enjoy your M-series and yacht.

IlliniProgrammer what is it with you and a Rusty Honda?

Array
 
BobTheBaker:
Chill, don't mess with Texas bro. Where would you rank Seattle?

Texas has no state or city tax, which is great. And good Mexican food. But for singles who are not from the state originally, the social and cultural scene isn't that great. I'm not saying it's bad, but it's all relative. Dallas/Houston/Austin are better than a lot of U.S. cities but far below NYC, Chicago, and LA.

 

LA is too suburban and suburbs, while safe and convenient, are simply not that prestigious. Because of LA's suburban sprawl, it generally requires one of the less prestigious methods of transportation to travel, as driving oneself is far less prestigious than paying a driver to take you a few blocks.

For these reasons and others, LA is ultimately a more prestigious place to vacation and/or raise a family than it is to work in.

 

LA is too suburban and suburbs, while safe and convenient, are simply not that prestigious. Because of LA's suburban sprawl, it generally requires one of the less prestigious methods of transportation to travel, as driving oneself is far less prestigious than paying a driver to take you a few blocks.

For these reasons and others, LA is ultimately a more prestigious place to vacation and/or raise a family then it is to work in. Because of your concerns we have decided to add another bracket to the list:

Most Prestigious Places to Raise a Family Royalty: Charlottesville, Virginia Upper 1%: Orange County, Upper-West Side, Greenwich, New Canaan, Buckhead American Dream: Buckhead, Northern Virginia, Chicago-Suburbs, DFW-Suburbs Slightly Increased Possibility of Raising at Least One Failure: Anywhere in Maryland, The Entire Midwest Excluding Greater Chicago Suburbs, The Southeast Excluding Virginia

 
PrestigeCaller:
LA is too suburban and suburbs, while safe and convenient, are simply not that prestigious. Because of LA's suburban sprawl, it generally requires one of the less prestigious methods of transportation to travel, as driving oneself is far less prestigious than paying a driver to take you a few blocks.

For these reasons and others, LA is ultimately a more prestigious place to vacation and/or raise a family then it is to work in. Because of your concerns we have decided to add another bracket to the list:

Most Prestigious Places to Raise a Family Royalty: Charlottesville, Virginia Upper 1%: Orange County, Upper-West Side, Greenwich, New Canaan, Buckhead American Dream: Buckhead, Northern Virginia, Chicago-Suburbs, DFW-Suburbs Slightly Increased Possibility of Raising at Least One Failure: Anywhere in Maryland, The Entire Midwest Excluding Greater Chicago Suburbs, The Southeast Excluding Virginia

Orange County is massive, so you need to break it down more. Newport Beach, for instance, is not even in the same universe as Anaheim.

Buckhead? LOL. It's "upscale" by the standards of the Deep South, but it's not prestigious by any stretch of the imagination.

Chicago's north shore suburbs are super elite and highly underrated. Lake Forest, Kenilworth, Winnetka, Glencoe, are amongst the best suburbs in the country.

 

Most Prestigious Graduate Degrees

God Tier: Any UVA Degree

Prestigious Enough To Make Asian Parents Proud: Med School, Tier 1 Law School, Harvard/Upenn/MIT Business School

Upper Bounds of Human Achievement: Chicago/Northwestern/Stanford/Berkely/Dartmouth/Columbia/Yale

Worth Taking Out The Loans For: Michigan/Duke/NYU/UCLA/Cornell/UT-Austin/UNC/Carnegie Melon/Emory/Georgetown/Indiania/Washington University/USC/Vanderbilt/Rice/Notre Dame

God Forbid You Have Asian Parents, You Will Be Forced To Commit Seppuku: Ohio State/University of Washington/Penn State/Wisconsin/Texas A&M/BYU/Boston College/Arizona State/U of Arizona

Hot Garbage UIUC, Whatever School IlliniProgrammer Whore Mother Went To

 

Most Prestigious Parking Spaces

Executive Suite: Reserved Space With Your Own Sign Outside The Office Master of Capitalism: Reverse Parking Your BMW In The Handicap Zone Bourgeois: Unassigned Garage Spot Proletariat: Street

 

Most Prestigious Dinners:

God Tier: UVA Dining Hall Feast of a King: Kobe Beef, Wagyu, Bluefin Tuna, Octopus (Tentacle), Oysters, Fugu (Pufferfish), Pasta With Squid Ink, Swallows Nest Soup (Must Try) Diesel Fuel: Lamb, Filet Mignon, Pasta With Mussels, Garlic & White Wine Sauce, Lobster, Escargot, Cioppino, Raw Tuna (When Wrapped In Seaweed - As With Sushi - Becomes One Tier Less Prestigious) Ole Stand-Bys: Prime Rib, T-Bone, Pasta Pesto, Gnocci With Cream/Mushroom Sauce, Roast Chicken, Sicilian Pizza, Chipoltle Burrito, Authentic Ramen From Chinatown, Seared Salmon/Halibut "Up-And-Coming": Gourmet Mac n Cheese, Gourmet Grilled Cheese, Eggs Benedict
Trash: Frozen Anything, Store-Bought Pasta Sauce, Breaded/Fried Chicken, Meat Loaf, Lasagna, Dominoes/Papa Johns/Pizza Hut, Q'Doba

 

*From "Shithole Scandal" Thread

PrestigeCaller:
Most Prestigious Shithole Countries To Vacation At

Bosses Only: Zanzibar, Belize, Barbados, Cape Verde Make Your Back Office Co-Workers Jealous With Your Instagram Pics: Jamaica, Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, Costa Rica Ballin' On a Budget but Not Impressing Anybody: Florida (Not a Country; Still a Shithole), Mexico (Cancun),

 

high schools bro..? really? Is this only an east coast thing where people care about this shit.. or what? My HS was avg af but ik ppl at HBS/ Wharton from my graduating class, residencies at duke department of medicine... etc

Array
 

2018 Prestige Rankings: Religion

Predestined: Presbyterianism, Dutch Reformed, Unitarianism

The Old Row: Episcopalianism/Anglicanism, Lutheranism, Methodism

Good for Networking: Judaism, Mormonism, Scientology, various rich people cults and secret societies

Just because your dad owns a store doesn't mean you're well-bred: Catholicism, Baptists, Hinduism

Creepy/Psychotic/Violent: Pentecostalism, Evangelicalism, Islam

"Work ethic, work ethic" - Vince Vaughn
 

Even though this is something that is very interesting and hilarious. I find it very inspirational, even though i am not working and currently looking out for work, i think this would be motivational anyone that is ambitious

 

Not gonna lie, I agree with this whole thing, exactly as pretentious as it is. These are my thoughts summed up exactly.

Even the UVA thing, I believe to be 100% accurate in a very unusual way. There's a string of LinkedIn hotties that all went to UVA, work in major IBs, and look like they got in through connections and a perfect set of legs.

Tesla is definitely the car that guys in sweaters with a blazer on top drive because, who gives a fuck about needing to get around? Needing to get around is for the working class. Those guys just drive because it's 'interesting'.

DC and Boston are like adults drinking old fashions or tom Collins from all their privileged loads of cash, while NYC, London, and HK are instant, and constant pussy, because you're young and attractive.

 

PwC is large.. we do a lot of things.. from high level strategy consulting all the way down to multi-year implementations. If you end up working with mostly Diamond people you will have very similar experience as @ MBB... a little less $.

 
moshennik:
PwC is large.. we do a lot of things.. from high level strategy consulting all the way down to multi-year implementations. If you end up working with mostly Diamond people you will have very similar experience as @ MBB... a little less $.

Similar experience, less money, lower quality exit opps, less prestige on the resume.

But, it's still a solid offer and a good firm.

 

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"Work ethic, work ethic" - Vince Vaughn

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