PLEASE TEAR THIS RESUME APART!!

hey guys,
im a sophomore applying to all the rotational programs, and other various mid-market/bb firms. i was hoping to get some feedback on my resume, as well as chances for those kinda programs? i go to a target school.

also, the associate role at the boutique banking firm is because they offered me a job to continue after the summer and jsut changed my title to that-not trying to bs anyone.

thanks so much!

http://www.razume.com/documents/12732

Comments (7)

Dec 2, 2009

please take the community svc hours out...

Dec 2, 2009

I think your text could use some work, but I'll let you figure that one for yourself. Make sure to stick to the same tense... "helped" "assisted"... And you use periods in some places and don't in others, be consistent. You also aren't consistent with using the colons either. This might be because of razume, but the bolding is also inconsistent. Should also put in a "Interests" section to talk about hobbies or something. All this volunteer work is just overkill, slim it down. And I agree with above post, remove hours.

Dec 2, 2009

great! thanks for the advice!!

should i take out the section completely or just the qualified hours?

do u think i might get an interview with the soph programs with a resume like this? if not, what skills/activities should i focus on building?

Dec 2, 2009

If the community service was from high school I'd say get rid of it completely, if it was recent maybe include a single line with the hours and principle functions.

Dec 2, 2009

nah its from college. kk!

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Dec 2, 2009

At first glance:

  1. All starting words need to be past tense verbs and, for that matter, verbs - not adverbs, nouns, etc.
  2. No periods at the end of any sentences
  3. Your formatting needs some work - you need more spacing, the bold, italics and such seems a little scattered, even if it isn't, your bullet spacing needs to be changed to keep the text close to the bullet, you need to use left and right alignments to separate text for titles vs. dates, etc.
  4. You don't need any of the hours for volunteer work - it's not the amount of time, but rather the impact and experiences that matters.
  5. You need to mix up and use different power verbs - helped, helped, helped, assisted - freshen it up and punch it up. The same can be said for your bullet points in general.
  6. Awards and recognitions should be a smaller section towards the bottom - follow a simple format of bullet point - Award - brief description
  7. I didn't really check, but if there is anything from HS, you should remove it (unless you are a freshman or soph - even as a soph, it becomes borderline as you fill your resume with more recent experiences).
  8. You need a graduation date (anticipated).

Let me know if you need more help.

Dec 12, 2009
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