Strangest thing you've seen/heard at work?

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One of the things WSO has shown me is to not always judge a book by its cover -- some of you have some real interesting things that happened to you. That said, what are some of the most strangest things that have happened to you while you were busy working away? Or something that's happened while you were out with co-workers?

Perhaps some of the stories will serve as a source for what-not-to-do for the up-and-coming analysts.

Comments (102)

 
May 25, 2017 - 7:31pm

Off the top of my head... there was this analyst at my bank who would straight up sprint Naruto style (google it if you dont know) through the office all the time. People would tell him to stop doing it (1) because it's weird, (2) he'd stomp loud af, (3) potentially dangerous, and (4) dude please just stop. And he'd just be like "no man it wasn't me" while still out of breath.... so yeah, if you're looking for stuff not to do - don't do that.

 
Best Response
May 25, 2017 - 7:46pm

One time I got an email from my MD which said, "Thanks." Not, "thx" or "tx," but the entire word including capitalization and punctuation. I printed it and pinned to my cube.

Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes.
 
May 25, 2017 - 9:11pm

Worked in a BB, the co-head of division used to talk to himself routinely.

First couple weeks in, I was grabbing a coffee next to said guy, said 'Morning', he shot me a look of surprise and continued to go back to muttering to himself.

I immediately thought I had fucked up and he was on the phone with a wireless headset - he was not.

Just goes to show, if you make it rain, no one gives a fuck about what you do.

'I'm jacked... JACKED TO THE TITS!!'
 
May 26, 2017 - 6:12am

1) I enter into the (London BB's) bathroom in a weekday afternoon, and summer analyst is WASHING DISHES in the bathroom's sink. The bank has no kitchen, and this intern always had lunch with us (at your classic London's take-away places such as Pret, Wasabi, etc.) and dinner on Seamless. As of now I still have no clue of whose dishes he was washing and why.

2) One guy in the same office (VP) would take the calls from his headset, stand up and start moving across desks while doing yoga / women-weight-loss-commercial-style exercises involving large movement of arms, legs, bending on knees, etc. Most walls of the floor were glass/transparent, so while working on your pitchbook you would see a couple of times a day this guy wearing a full suit + shirt + tie outfit moving through the desks while doing these exercises.

3) In a London Top MM Bank, 4 guys didn't receive a bonus because, after multiple malfunctions to the vending machine, security decided to check the night tapes, and realized these guys would consistently (2-3 times/week) shake the machine to steal a bag of chips which would come out easily. Their total comp: probably >£100-120k, price of the chips: £0.90.

4) (More of a funny story than a real mistake) At a training event, analysts arriving late would have to do karaoke in front of the full class, with a song picked by the other analysts in the class. I still have recordings of i) a guy and a girl singing Barbie Girl with opposite roles (i.e. the guy singing "I'm a Barbie girl..." and the girl "Come on Barbie let's go party"), and ii) a very shy Japanese analyst (who was late because he got lost in London) singing "Boom boom boom - Vengaboys" in a very thick Asian accent

5) New analyst (3 months in) joining the team to a party and gets completely hammered at the pre-party at the VP/staffer's apartment. He tells other people to go ahead to the club, as he needs some rest before going out. A nice female associate decides to stay with him to help him as he's clearly too drunk, so the VP leaves them a copy of the apartment keys and goes to the club with the rest of the team. The associate and the analyst never arrive to the party. When the VP comes back home, he finds his carpet full of vomit, and a set of syringes and other medical equipment on the floor. Basically, the guy fainted shortly after the team left and had no signs of life, so the associate called an ambulance, and paramedics had to inject something to keep him awake/conscious, then the brought him to the hospital for a couple of days. He came back to work on Tuesday and apologized for the behavior, mentioning some family issues as well. The team was pretty cool though as seniors never got to know about the accident, and VP didn't really do anything about it (and also paid himself a £450 professional service to clean his carpet). The analyst left after 2/3 months to become a movie director.

 
May 26, 2017 - 11:34am

Sprezz:

1) I enter into the (London BB's) bathroom in a weekday afternoon, and summer analyst is WASHING DISHES in the bathroom's sink. The bank has no kitchen, and this intern always had lunch with us (at your classic London's take-away places such as Pret, Wasabi, etc.) and dinner on Seamless. As of now I still have no clue of whose dishes he was washing and why.

2) One guy in the same office (VP) would take the calls from his headset, stand up and start moving across desks while doing yoga / women-weight-loss-commercial-style exercises involving large movement of arms, legs, bending on knees, etc. Most walls of the floor were glass/transparent, so while working on your pitchbook you would see a couple of times a day this guy wearing a full suit + shirt + tie outfit moving through the desks while doing these exercises.

3) In a London Top MM Bank, 4 guys didn't receive a bonus because, after multiple malfunctions to the vending machine, security decided to check the night tapes, and realized these guys would consistently (2-3 times/week) shake the machine to steal a bag of chips which would come out easily. Their total comp: probably >PS100-120k, price of the chips: PS0.90.

4) (More of a funny story than a real mistake) At a training event, analysts arriving late would have to do karaoke in front of the full class, with a song picked by the other analysts in the class. I still have recordings of i) a guy and a girl singing Barbie Girl with opposite roles (i.e. the guy singing "I'm a Barbie girl..." and the girl "Come on Barbie let's go party"), and ii) a very shy Japanese analyst (who was late because he got lost in London) singing "Boom boom boom - Vengaboys" in a very thick Asian accent

5) New analyst (3 months in) joining the team to a party and gets completely hammered at the pre-party at the VP/staffer's apartment. He tells other people to go ahead to the club, as he needs some rest before going out. A nice female associate decides to stay with him to help him as he's clearly too drunk, so the VP leaves them a copy of the apartment keys and goes to the club with the rest of the team. The associate and the analyst never arrive to the party. When the VP comes back home, he finds his carpet full of vomit, and a set of syringes and other medical equipment on the floor. Basically, the guy fainted shortly after the team left and had no signs of life, so the associate called an ambulance, and paramedics had to inject something to keep him awake/conscious, then the brought him to the hospital for a couple of days. He came back to work on Tuesday and apologized for the behavior, mentioning some family issues as well. The team was pretty cool though as seniors never got to know about the accident, and VP didn't really do anything about it (and also paid himself a PS450 professional service to clean his carpet). The analyst left after 2/3 months to become a movie director.

  1. That is pretty strange lol... I'm not too sure how to respond to that one.
  2. At least he was getting into excellent shape?

I'm not sure which story had the best highlight... dish washer SA or movie director analyst... Did movie director analyst make good movies at least?

 
May 26, 2017 - 3:50pm

Analyst told a female MD he was working with that she reminded him of his mom.

MD once sent me an email that's subject line red "I'm a savant."

Gave the founders of my firm a ride to their hotel from our holiday party. Without warning, they started vaping hash oil in my car.

Thanks, let me know if you ever need an introduction in the industry.
 
May 26, 2017 - 4:44pm

This didn't happen at my building, but the building that housed our ops team had a guy approach the front desk and ask for a girl in ops--guess it was her ex-boyfriend. The girl says no and her manager goes out to the front desk to ask him to leave (don't know why he didn't call security). Long story short, an altercation brokeout at which point the guy throws a bunch of lighter fluid on the manager with the intent, I imagine, to light him on fire. Around this time security jumped in and tackled the guy.

 
May 26, 2017 - 5:28pm

Didn't know some of them refined chicks in finance dated creepy obsessed stalkers...

That being said, you aren't one of those refined chicks either :)

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."
 
May 26, 2017 - 4:48pm

single stall bathroom on the floor echoed throughout the whole office really really loud for some reason. New analyst who sat really far away from said bathroom, meaning he must have not realized how loud it was, had to go #3 every single day 1-2 times a day.

It got near impossible to keep a straight face when talking to execs, coworkers, clients etc. Everyday we saw him walking to the bathroom everyone knew to vacate!

 
Oct 9, 2017 - 1:48pm

craziest things that have happened in your office (Originally Posted: 11/24/2010)

So i used to work in a small bank in s&t and we could pretty much get away with anythign in the office, now my work place is very different, so i wanna get an idea of the crazy shit you guys have seen . . . for us . . .

after 3pm every day we played a 4 man dice game for usually $20 a roll when we got bored of dice we found one of the excel based video games to bet on, and if really bored we threw a football around until someone dropped it to settle bets ie. who was more endowed, who got laid more often

two of the dealers and one of the managers was hung upside down in the air in front of the director who laughed as he walked by

one dealer was bear hugged so bad his jacket button broke and he nearly passed out, where we had to drag him away from where people could see him just incase he needed cpr

a common ritual was to mimc the other sales guy while he was on the phone to copy every word he spoke to the client until he would burst out laughing during the sales call
if this wouldnt work we would make slurping or other sexual related sounds

profanity was completely accepted as well as any racist taunt as long as you didnt directly call the person a so and so. but you could make fun of their heritage in an indirect manner.

This is definately isnt a BB or anything like that, we made average money most guys less than 6 figures though but as you can see the work atmosphere was great and the hours were really easy.

 
Oct 9, 2017 - 1:51pm

Marcus_Halberstram:
Most guys less than 6-figures in a finance-related field is well below average.

yes very true, but in a very non-financial city where salaries arent too high. A lot of job security (as you can see above) and based on hourly compensation we did well (never in the office past 530), 5 weeks vacation 18 sick days a year, 70-85 base plus bonus's (usually 15-20% of salary)

 
Oct 9, 2017 - 1:55pm

We used to toss the ball around and it came SO close to hitting the sprinkler ... I'm actually shocked we never put ourselves underwater.

Our entire office had a PA system where anybody from any desk could dial an extension and speak over the PA to everyone. It was generally used to page people, but very late at night when only analysts/associates were left we'd dial into the PA and play music from our speakers. The music would broadcast to the entire floor. Was a fun way to rejuvenate everyone.

All sorts of bad stuff happened at our Christmas parties / staff events. We even had an analyst get arrested and HR had to go the next morning and bail him out.

CompBanker

 
Oct 9, 2017 - 1:57pm

i seen a few fights but the almost fights are much better...seeing two grown man talk shit is fking funny

on weekends with 3 people in office.... we use to run around the office chasing each other playing tag... until we learned it was all recorded and they sent an email saying to stop

 
Oct 9, 2017 - 2:00pm

At my old shop we had Office Olympics and at "midday" 6 pm office basketball shootout games. We even bought a trophy and the winner got to keep it at their desk until the next game. We used to figure we are going to be there until 10/11 pm anyway, why not take a break for 30mins.

We paid a guy to try and drink 1 Gallon of milk in 30 Mins without vomitting.

We used Excel's type to speak function to crank call other analysts. those were the days :-))

 
Oct 9, 2017 - 2:01pm

My point about it not making sense is if a firm's culture is to not limit employees and let them use their own discretion for days off, they just wouldn't have a quantified guideline, they wouldn't have any limit on sick days. This is how it was at my last firm, and that makes more sense then telling employees they can take every 16th day off.

Array
 
May 29, 2017 - 1:09pm

I've had an associate email me on a bank holiday at 5pm telling me that his colleague was a complete fucktard

Array
 
May 31, 2017 - 12:45am

I worked at a call center for a bit during college and some guy had something that hit and caused a lot of pain. He was screaming so loud you couldn't hear anything on the phone. He was also fat and took two emt's and two cops to get him out.

Only two sources I trust, Glenn Beck and singing woodland creatures.
 
May 31, 2017 - 1:00am

Interned at an AM firm last summer. One of the top execs literally orders EVERYTHING on the menu to feed himself I'm talking like 1500-2000 calories mind you this man is yuuuggeee. Gave him a ride back to the office and non stop kept farting his ass off in the car. It smelled awful but didn't want to roll the windows down to let him know I could smell it. He played it off like everything was okay.

 
Jun 3, 2017 - 5:20pm

The most sociable (yes, he's actually hilarious when we work together) guy in my office eats lunch in his car every day, even when its 90+ degrees out and no one can figure out why.

 
Jun 5, 2017 - 11:37am

Oh man, I hope this isn't me. I have a black car/black seats and have lunch in my car every day even when it's 90+ outside because I like to talk to my wife who is in a different time zone for a year, so that's the only time that matches. I use the bluetooth in my car so it may look like I'm just talking to myself lol

 
Jun 5, 2017 - 11:53am

imsurance:

The most sociable (yes, he's actually hilarious when we work together) guy in my office eats lunch in his car every day, even when its 90+ degrees out and no one can figure out why.

I used to do this too, but it's because I was interviewing for new jobs and I would just hole up in my car and take calls. every day for weeks on end >____>

Currently: future psychiatrist (med school =P) Previously: investor relations (top consulting firm), M&A consulting (Big 4), M&A banking (MM)
 
Jun 5, 2017 - 2:11pm

I was coming back to Boston from an offsite trip one evening when I heard that a good friend from the NY office was in town and heading out to dinner with his project team. I asked to join because I wanted a free dinner and was added to the list to go out to Limoncello (the flagship restaurant for a last-minute corporate dinners) in the North End.

At dinner, I meet the team and learn that several of the people at the table are new to the firm, including a few new ops personnel who were in town to visit headquarters for the first time. It was a good dinner, free as expected, and as the meal concludes we are invited to meet up with some of the senior managers for drinks around the corner.

We get to the bar and the senior staff is a notorious crew. One manager who is known to pay for everything, you can walk up to the bar and just assume he has an open tab. My immediate manager is also there, as is a third manager who is known to get a kick out of buying rounds of shots for the analysts (rarely partaking himself) and watching them get wound up and start acting foolish. I suspect this is why we were invited. There were more managers around, but the point is that the senior staff were known to party and were THERE TO PARTY.

The evening proceeds and one of the new ops analysts from NY, a 22-year-old newly graduated male, seems to be at the bar more frequently than the rest of the team. I believe that he was coming from a scarcity mentality and believed that tab would be shut off shortly, so he wanted to get what he could while it was available. The problem with this approach was that he was getting wasted very quickly.

At some point, his attitude shifted from "I'm just happy to be here" to "I definitely want to hook up with my immediate supervisor," which was not going to happen. He was quickly shit down and, in a fit of rejection-induced anger, he stormed out of the bar into the night.

If I was sober I would have been concerned that he had never been to Boston, an already difficult-to-navigate city, and about his current state of drunkenness, but I just saw him leave and assumed he was going to wave down a cab and go home. The night continues. Eventually, my colleague receives a phone call and appears very concerned. He doesn't say where he is going but bolts out the door and I don't see or hear from him until the next day.

Apparently, the analyst who stormed out earlier either found his way to a tough neighborhood or was so angry that he started an altercation. Either way, he definitely lost the fight. He was found eventually by a friendly Bostonian who decided that he was in bad enough shape to take him to a HOMELESS SHELTER, where staff found my colleague's business card and called him to come pick him up. He was not at work the next day.

Nobody told the managers about the incident to spare him embarrassment (plus we like the free drinks and don't want to give them an excuse to stop that policy), but he did have a long talk from a supervisor later to stress the importance of controlling one's alcohol intake and maintaining professional relationships. Everyone felt pretty badly for how things worked out for him, as this did have the chance to end much worse than it did.

TL;DR: Analyst blacks out, hits on coworker, gets rejected, gets in a fight, ends up in a homeless shelter.

Nothing short of everything will really do.
 
Jun 6, 2017 - 5:47am

Maybe if he had gone and started a diversity event in place of a fight, he would have been lauded by the supervisor as a fine example of cultured drunkenness.

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."
 
Jun 6, 2017 - 10:43am

maybe he fists interns on a regular basis

Don´t say this in a banking interview: Which superhero would you be and why? I want to be like Robin Hood, stealing from the rich and giving to the poor - me.
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