What weapons would you own if you couldn't own guns?

GoldenCinderblock's picture
Rank: Human | 19,065

I can't own firearms on account of felonies I got caught committing and also because I was hospitalized in the psych ward at 17 on some trickery shit. I strongly believe in being able to defend oneself hand-to-hand as well as at range. What weapons would you arm yourself with if you couldn't own guns? I have a badass bow and arrow I use for archery, but that shit's not good on the quick. I think maybe having a loaded and drawn crossbow in every room might be good. I always have a knife on me of course. I got a CCTV setup and alarms already and a Ring. But I'm naked in the car. All I got is knives and a crowbar in there. This no gun shit is fucking with my head. I'm in the process of a lengthy appeal which involves getting a psych eval and will probably still be denied, but I gotta try. I wonder if you can pay someone to be a fall-guy. Or how that would work. And maybe just bite the bullet and do it anyway. Let's brainstorm together.

Comments (59)

Jul 31, 2019

The worst thing about NYC is the gun laws

Gun rights activist
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Aug 30, 2019

Goldie isn't in NYC but yeah NYC gun laws are (sort of understandably) strict as hell.

Aug 30, 2019
FinancelsWacc:

Goldie isn't in NYC but yeah NYC gun laws are (sort of understandably) strict as hell (unconstitutional)

Gun rights activist
Jul 31, 2019

Definitely a great sword. Don't get a katana or something because people will think you watch too much anime, but if you carry a massive fucking sword people won't question you.

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Jul 31, 2019

We're talking ranged weapons, man. Thoughts on a high-powered slingshot? Anything can be your ammunition. Sling your cell phone at a motherfucker's collar bone in a pinch.

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/

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Jul 31, 2019

Get an old school coin purse (fill it up with coins obviously) and just whack them with it.

Jul 31, 2019

knife beats lock in a sock but that's not bad

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/

Jul 31, 2019

Bear mace and/or shurikens

Jul 31, 2019

Akimbo war hammers.

Jul 31, 2019

I'm lame but I love my taser hahaha

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Jul 31, 2019
isa2130953:

I'm lame but I love my taser hahaha

Who shit on this?

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/

Jul 31, 2019

I would also like to know lmaoooo. Even if I cant use a taser on someone from far away the noise alone has helped me in bad situations in LA. No regrets over here

Jul 31, 2019

Taser + strong pepper spray, but honestly there isn't an even remotely close alternative to a firearm.

Jul 31, 2019

What happens to white people with money when they get caught with a gun as a felon?

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/

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Jul 31, 2019

Weigh what the most likely outcome for you is, do you use the firearm for self defense or do you get caught carrying illegally first? If chances are you get caught first, which they are (I'm assuming you don't live in parts of the country with significant gun crime) then its simply not worth it. Definitely fight to have your rights re-instated though. This is how I had to decide not to carry in the city. My choice was easier however though because I'm not a felon, so its not worth getting caught and never legally carrying again vs not carrying in nyc.

Gun rights activist
Jul 31, 2019

I mean, you never know is the thing. Fucked up shit happens every day. I spend a lot of time in Chicago in like B/C class neighborhoods for work. But fuck man I'm never going to prison I'll tell you that much. If I get caught, it's time to start a new life somewhere. I hope my wife joins me. But I'm not going to prison. That's a fact. They better not set bond if they want me in prison. I'll pay it and you can keep the change.

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/

Jul 31, 2019
GoldenCinderblock:

What happens to white people with money when they get caught with a gun as a felon?

armed bodyguards

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

Jul 31, 2019

If you put a camo on it no one would ever know. I am a personal fan of "Fall" or "Dark Matter".

Jul 31, 2019

My hands are registered lethal weapons. We get in a fight. I kill you. I go to jail.

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Funniest
Jul 31, 2019

Anyone who kills someone in a fight goes to jail, its called manslaughter

Gun rights activist
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Jul 31, 2019

not necessarily the case but the thing is sometimes people say stuff that isn't absolutely true in order to provoke a laugh. we call this a joke.

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/

Jul 31, 2019

Goldie, "Anyone who kills someone in a fight goes to jail, it's called manslaughter" is a line of dialogue from the new Tarantino movie, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. :)

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Jul 31, 2019

oh lawl now im the asshole
was it good? should i watch it? never heard of it

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/

Jul 31, 2019

I've only seen it once and i haven't been able to form an opinion yet - which is odd for me. It's not a lot like his other movies, like inglorious, pulp fiction, django, are spectacles and i didnt get that feeling with once upon a time in hollywood. I thought the cinematography was strange too. I really have to watch it again to decide what i thought.

Gun rights activist
Jul 31, 2019

I kinda hate that I love his stuff, I'm often torn with the roles that he gives women, they're frequently layered, meaty roles [Uma in both Kill Bills and Pulp Fiction, Diane Kruger and Melanie Laurent in Inglourius Basterds], but frequently the violence [which yes, he aims at both men and women, but he seems to often really go off on the women] can reach a point of torture porn and I tend to take issue with most directors'/writers' attempts at the tired trope of "rape revenge" as a plot device... although granted, Tarantino is one of the few directors to have actually done a gender twist on this. Plus add in his foot fetish and his "hands-on" approach in some scenes and things get icky for me on another level.

Not a fan of Leo DiCaprio, but he's excellent, as is Brad Pitt in this, you totally believe the chemistry between them. And Tarantino's got a knack for getting really good actors that aren't super stars, like Michael Madsen and Kurt Russell, to do the smallest of cameos that always seem to jazz up a scene.

Margot Robbie is very easy on the eyes and incredibly sweet as Sharon Tate and she's kind of haunting in that you see her but don't hear her much, as she's got minimal dialogue.

All in all, it was a fun ride, didn't remotely feel like nearly 3 hours, which is saying something. And I went to see it in 35mm - gotta say it was wild to hear an actual film project whirring behind us, kind of a cool nostalgia element that added to seeing a movie that's supposed to be from the late 60's!

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Jul 31, 2019

Did you like it? I felt like I was waiting for something to happen the entire film, so I felt the length 100%

Gun rights activist
Jul 31, 2019

What do you mean by "hands-on approach?" I don't really know much about the guy. I liked Kill Bill 1+2 a lot.
Top 3 all-time favorite movies? Any director
What's with the 30mm thing? Can you actually tell a difference? Like music people can with vinyl? Did that start with Dunkirk or were people already doing?

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/

Jul 31, 2019

It's Tarantino's spit that goes into Uma's face in Kill Bill, it's his hands around Diane Kruger's neck in Inglorious Basterds when she is being killed. And he made Uma drive a car in a scene where she wanted a stunt driver but he convinced her to do it and she wound up with a concussion. He makes the argument each time that he knows best, artistically, visually, etc., but it's an area about QT that makea me uneasy.

My top 3 all-time flicks are probably Stars Wars, Vertigo and the 3rd varies. Sometimes it's Gaslight, sometimes it's The Usual Suspects, keeps evolving.

As far as I know, Dunkirk was not filmed in 35mm, the big deal was that it barely used any CGI. Nolan, the director, managed to get many dozens of battleships and boats out of mothballs from the relevant time era.

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Jul 31, 2019

What do you think of the new Star Wars movies? What about E1-3? Are you into other nerd shit? Like SW Universe shit? Video games, tabletop games, etc? I used to play this shit called Star Wars Miniatures in jr. high school. I left all my maps and figurines and dice and shit inside a shoe box at the classroom we played in after school and I've had cravings to play it for years and am totally unable to find any online. It's the weirdest shit because it was very popular for a few years.

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/

Most Helpful
Aug 1, 2019

Yeah, I'm am/was something of a nerd/geek. I've attended numerous cons - although doubtful I'll be attending NYCC this year, looks like all the days are sold out except for Oct 3 . I still read comics and graphic novels some, but not as much as I used to. I didn't play much home video games or D&D. I was more into arcade games like Defender, Sinistar, Tempest and Robotron. My kid brother was pretty much addicted to Nintendo games from age 10 onward and to this day he is still a gamer, although it's mostly the many iterations of GTA and Red Dead.

The first original 3 Star Wars [New Hope, Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi are still a lot of fun for me to watch, maybe because of the memories they bring back of seeing them on big screens with my dad - but I don't care for the "enhanced" versions with additional CGI thrown in, such as the "walking" Jabba the Hut.

The next batch, the 'prequels' of SW [Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, Revenge of the Sith] were meh for me, the actors like Hayden Christiansen and Natalie Portman just didn't make me care about a younger Leia and Anakin/Vader. Force Awakens and Last Jedi, I definitely enjoyed both of those much more. And I found Rogue One to be an excellent movie regardless of whether it's part of the SW anthology, great stand-alone movie and uplifting even with the tragic ending - Solo was a good movie, not great, although I wanted to like it more.

I've never read anything SW-universe. My kid brother has read some and he had tons of SW figurines and various set pieces like the Hoth planet Rebel station. He's been trying to get me to watch the animated Clone Wars series for a number of years, but out of 6 seasons, I've mostly seen just the first 2.

I tend[ed] to read a lot more sci-fi than I watch sci-fi, ala Philip K Dick, Robert Heinlein, Ursula LeGuin, William Gibson, Asimov, etc. Dad turned me onto westerns and sci-fi films at an early age. Before cable TV, when there was only Channels 2 through 13, there was a "UHF" channel - Dad would add additional length to our TV's rabbit ear antennae by adding aluminum foil to them and then "tune" the UHF channel [like you did with a radio dial, to make a station sound more clear/less staticy] and we would watch Japanese monster movies and Japanese cartoons like Voltron.

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Jul 31, 2019
Skyywalker:

Anyone who kills someone in a fight goes to jail, its called manslaughter

You don't just go to jail if you kill someone. If you had the right to self defend and your fighting back was lethal and necessary - you're in the clear.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

Aug 30, 2019

haha I think he was trying to say in an assault, its assault with a deadly weapon

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

Jul 31, 2019

I have a few steak knives in the kitchen

Jul 31, 2019

Jul 31, 2019

Yo man my house is like a mall ninja showroom. I have a 12 inch bowi knife sitting on my desk. I have no idea why. I know how fucking dweeby it is but I just like weapons. Check out this hilarious sub:
https://www.reddit.com/r/mallninjashit/

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/

Jul 31, 2019

Realistically, I would get a Japanese Katana sharpened, I would get a taser and I would get a kirpan, it a ceremonial dagger carried by Sikhs and they carry it everywhere.

"It's okay, I'll see you on the other side"

Jul 31, 2019

On a serious note, felons can buy black powder revolver, shotguns, and rifles. Takes a while to load, so just keep it loaded. Still, a bullet is a bullet.

Jul 31, 2019

Can anyone confirm this? I really don't think I can have a shotgun.

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/

Jul 31, 2019

Have a close family member who's a felon and has a few black powder guns (muzzleloaders). They have to be considered antiques (1898), and according to federal law, they're all good. Check with state law and a lawyer, and load up dawg

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Jul 31, 2019

My fists.

Or imagine dropping your pants before a life or death situation, that f***er would run tf away.

Aug 1, 2019

Bear Mace 100%, just like that South Park episode.

Aug 1, 2019

Anything from medievalcollectibles.com.

I wish technology would have advanced like it does in Marvel movies, where combat is still melee based but they have spears (or other weapons) that can shoot lasers. Solves the long and close range problem in one weapon.

Aug 2, 2019

Tank with a nuclear reactor to power it. I don't have artillery, but I will catch up to you.

Array

Aug 2, 2019

Combat midgets. They've got superhuman strength, they're built to be thrown, and they bring good luck.

There's no nobility in poverty.

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Aug 2, 2019

for short / medium range (under 60 feet) ninja throwing stars and darts/lightweight throwing knives are very effective and easy to carry...IF you learn how to use them (which takes years of study...but what else have you got to do anyway?)

just google it...you're welcome

Aug 3, 2019

I read a great analysis of the English yew longbow from the medieval era that concluded the American Revolution would have been over 80% faster if the Continental Army had been armed with longbows.

Easy to use, you can train up on them in a week (though mastering it takes far longer), easy to make arrows, quieter, longer range, better accuracy at range, basically better than the Brown Bess and the Baker rifle in every way.

Aug 30, 2019
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Aug 30, 2019