What would you rather have? A lump sum of $500K dollars today or...

unlimited consensual sex with ANY girl in the world for 3 years (your crush, a celebrity, etc.), but then it stops afterwards. 

Also, the $500k is after-tax take-home. 

Go. 

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Comments (102)

Oct 4, 2021 - 7:01pm

Damn it.

I thought this was going to be the "Grain of Rice / Checkerboard problem"!

Namaste.

D.O.U.G.

  • Intern in RE - Comm
Oct 4, 2021 - 7:12pm

The sex. 500k lump sum is a good bit of money but not impossible to make quickly in a finance or real estate career. Now if it was 5 million lump sum today my answer might change.

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Oct 6, 2021 - 9:13pm

LOL ikr

Dude thinks half a milli just rains down from the sky when you do your first RE deal

LOL LOL

I'd take the money b/c my wife would frown upon the other option. But I'd also take the money regardless because no rando is worth that. You coulda had me at like a grand tbh. Much rather have a fwb rotation

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/
  • 1
Most Helpful
Oct 4, 2021 - 8:15pm

Notwithstanding that I personally think this is a stupid and undignified question, here goes nothing. FIRE ideology says that you can sustainably withdraw 3 - 4% of a trust corpus each year (including inflation adjustments) and have a very low chance of running out of money. This equates to a safe withdrawal of $15 - 20K per annum. Assuming that a run around town is $500, this would imply 30 - 40 nookie units per annum in perpetuity. Given that the median user here might be, say, 25, and assuming that "hydraulic capacity" is good for at least an additional 40 years, this implies 1,200 - 1,600 lifetime nookie units, with the units uniformly spaced over a period of 40 years. *At the end of the period, you could liquidate the corpus, which could potentially yield quite a bit of money or nookie units. This is the caveat.*

 Assuming that someone in such an arrangement would have sex 2.5 times per day on average, this equates to 365.24 days * 2.5 times per day * 3 yrs. = 2,739.3 nookie units. This is over a period of 3 years, in our user base's physical prime, with someone who could potentially be more desired than the $500 per session person in the first scenario.

Assuming someone is okay with having casual sex in this manner and isn't a frugal hermit like me, on what planet is the money better? This is strictly outperformed by the "arrangement" in terms of session quantity, potential attractiveness, and being front-loaded/less likely to expire because you died before actuarial expectations. If you're okay with the sex premise, this strictly outperforms.

Oct 4, 2021 - 8:48pm

The first thing that pops in my head when you ask this is "what if I set up an endowment to buy a sex worker's time?" so that's what I modeled. My conclusions:

Endowment: gets 1,200 - 1,600 sex units with a $500 professional spaced evenly over 40 yrs. Good chance of a significant trust fund that could be liquidated for more sex or other monetary uses.

Sex contract: gets 2,739.3 sex units with the person you desire the very most over 3 years in the prime of one's life (for most of the user base, and certainly more prime than a 40 year).

2739.3 > 1600. The most desired person is > $500 person. Getting stuff now is better than getting it in 40 years when I have the potential to die in a rollerblading accident 27 years in. Does this make sense?

Oct 4, 2021 - 9:58pm

kellycriterion

Notwithstanding that I personally think this is a stupid and undignified question, here goes nothing. FIRE ideology says that you can sustainably withdraw 3 - 4% of a trust corpus each year (including inflation adjustments) and have a very low chance of running out of money. This equates to a safe withdrawal of $15 - 20K per annum. Assuming that a run around town is $500, this would imply 30 - 40 nookie units per annum in perpetuity. Given that the median user here might be, say, 25, and assuming that "hydraulic capacity" is good for at least an additional 40 years, this implies 1,200 - 1,600 lifetime nookie units, with the units uniformly spaced over a period of 40 years. *At the end of the period, you could liquidate the corpus, which could potentially yield quite a bit of money or nookie units. This is the caveat.*

 Assuming that someone in such an arrangement would have sex 2.5 times per day on average, this equates to 365.24 days * 2.5 times per day * 3 yrs. = 2,739.3 nookie units. This is over a period of 3 years, in our user base's physical prime, with someone who could potentially be more desired than the $500 per session person in the first scenario.

Assuming someone is okay with having casual sex in this manner and isn't a frugal hermit like me, on what planet is the money better? This is strictly outperformed by the "arrangement" in terms of session quantity, potential attractiveness, and being front-loaded/less likely to expire because you died before actuarial expectations. If you're okay with the sex premise, this strictly outperforms.

1. You're such a fuckin nerd

2. God dammit I think you're right...

Array

  • 5
Oct 5, 2021 - 4:32pm

This a very elementary analysis that doesn't take into account any of the economic aspects of the "nookie units" (jesus fucking christ...). Your ignoring items like decreasing marginal utility, market saturation, and your discount rate. Sex 2.5 times a day for three years straight with the same person is going to get boring. You're going to want to a) space it out, which you can't, b) include some variety, which you can't, and c) enjoy it after the 3 years, which you can't. 

Oct 5, 2021 - 4:45pm

Utility profiles are specific to the individual, particularly when it pertains to sexual acts. What is a fetish if not someone's utility profile being different from someone else's? What are attraction and repulsion but the clearest evidence that people differ on these things? These things cannot be modeled by anything I or anyone else has; it's a manifestly individual question.

I don't understand your notion of market saturation. If you explain what you mean by that, I'd be happy to respond. I do understand your matters of discount rate and marginal utility; those are well-taken. I acknowledged discount rate in my "front-loaded" comment, although it's the job of the reader to determine the proper discount rate for something like that. If I were forced to evaluate it, it would be based on a personalized actuarial study and my chance of dying before encountering the hypothetical act. You could also dump in geopolitical uncertainty as another variable too (I feel less confident that the world will avoid demise as time horizons get longer). As far as marginal utility, that is a matter of personal preference, and I cannot model it. Some people want to fool around like rabbits (3+ times a day) and others say twice a week is good enough for me. These matters are not lost on me; I merely lack the ability to model something like that for individuals with disparate interests.

Regarding your alphabetical concerns, points a and c are essential identical (to be less spaced out is to be unenjoyable past the three years, all else equal). The billions of monogamous humans would potentially undermine point b, but who am I to speak to human desire? Plenty of people would prefer the ability to have sex with many people.

Where silver bananas are earned, the same are granted. That's always my philosophy.

  • Intern in IB-M&A
Oct 4, 2021 - 8:15pm

Now imagine how much money you'd make if you were able to have sex with any woman in this world and record it.

Oct 7, 2021 - 1:40pm

Intern in IB-M&A

Now imagine how much money you'd make if you were able to have sex with any woman in this world and record it.

Or your dick falls off first.

SafariJoe, wins again!
Oct 4, 2021 - 8:26pm

The $500K - I already have unlimited consensual sex.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

  • 11
  • Analyst 1 in ER
Oct 4, 2021 - 10:02pm

Yeah, I'm sorry but I have to experience that Alexandra Daddario True Detective scene for myself. Sex it is.

Oct 4, 2021 - 11:07pm

500k easily. I was a whore in college and would fuck anyone a 6 or above. Sex is fucking amazing but after so many thots you start wanting something more (well at least in my case). I'm still not 100% happy with my current life in all aspects so I'm not open to dating anyone. If someone wanted to date me I would do everything in my power to find a flaw in them, whether it's physical or of character. Sure, self-improvement is a process that never truly ends, but I want to date the baddest bitch out there, so I expect her not to settle.

Now, I specifically go for girls that are "out of my league". I honestly believe nobody is out of my league because I'm full of myself, but you get the point I'm trying to make. I wouldn't be content fucking Helen of Troy if I knew it was from a deal like this. Making someone want you that one could argue is better than you and closing the deal is, in my opinion, one of the greatest feelings ever. I need that feeling of power that she chose me over literally everyone else in the world.

TLDR: fuck bitches get money

Oct 4, 2021 - 11:15pm

Yeah I probs am, but I know I'm a good person. Just because I think I'm better than other people doesn't mean I treat them poorly. Only people I hate are the dudes who blast music and hotbox my apartment hallway, people who cut me off on the interstate, and people who don't read my emails then call after asking about something I literally just addressed in the email

  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
Oct 5, 2021 - 12:19am

All of you choosing the sex just loudly admitting you don't fuck lmfao. Take the money, get ripped, find a girl you actually like and actually fuck her - buy her a new purse so she sticks around.

Your crush/celebrity/insert random female you put on a pedestal to idolize so much that you'd give up a tangible half a million bucks sitting right in front of you has a high chance of having the most average pussy you've ever had - nothing special about having sex with them besides their inaccessibility factor.

This is a grossly misogynistic question to begin with, and I provided a very misogynistic answer - but holy shit guys tighten up and keep your eyes on the real prize.

  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
Oct 5, 2021 - 1:45am

See point two about idolization lmao. No human on this planet should be put on a pedestal above others generally - but especially when half a million is on the line

Oct 5, 2021 - 2:27am

definitely 3 years arrangement.

guys spend tens of thousands on bottle service at clubs per night trying to impress girls and sometimes end up with nothing. guys also spend hundreds of thousands on weddings (include cost of a ring) marrying some average Betties. I bet a lot of guys spend $100k+ / year on girls (wining and dining, gifts, trips, dates, etc.), and a lot of times these are just average-looking boring girls and they may not even put out. instead you can fuck Angelina Jolie for 3 years for $500k - it's a no brainer.

Oct 5, 2021 - 11:34am

He said consensual sex, not necessarily relationships.  So these girls may be willing to sleep with you but nothing else so it's not really comparable to getting married.

Oct 5, 2021 - 2:22pm

right. a lot of times, sex is the main if not the only reason for relationships (and marriage), and men have to put up with other aspects of relationships (like compromise on what you do in your spare time, what you eat, what you watch, listen to boring stories, etc.) to keep getting sex. so if you can have sex without being in relationships, it's much much better.

Oct 5, 2021 - 11:26am

Are you kidding me?? Easily the 3 year deal. I'd accumulate a hell of a lot more than 500k with that kind of daily motivation. It's not even close. Maybe change the 500k to 50 million and THEN, this might actually be a tough decision lmao. Money is easy....women are not.

Oct 5, 2021 - 2:29pm

it's easy to feel confident when you're banging Angelina Jolie, for example. and when you project so much confidence, people will want to work with you (hire you, be your client, etc.), cause they'll assume that your confidence is backed up by your skills.

Oct 5, 2021 - 2:48pm

The daily motivation of being able to bang your dream girl.....it gives you confidence and satisfaction to be able to pursue your other interests. The porn industry/twitch is so big these days because so many guys are simply unhappy with their sexual lives or lonely. Imagine how much more productive guys could be if sex was guaranteed.

Oct 5, 2021 - 2:51pm

I could just as easily say someone who chose money is pathetic as well. Within a couple years in tech, I'll be making around that amount anyway, not to mention the power of compounding and capital gain through stock/real estate investments. 500k is life-changing money for some people, but not for me. It wouldn't change anything; I would literally just go to work the next day, but be able to invest in a couple more equity options. But 3 years of guaranteed sex with any girl in the world? Unlimited? Wars have been fought for that shit. A lot of modern technology and innovations were created just cause guys wanted pussy.

  • Associate 2 in IB-M&A
Oct 5, 2021 - 7:55pm

Easy answer, the sex as long as you can advertise your casual relationship to the world. When other chicks know you've been fucking a super model then they'll be falling over you for the rest of you're life. The social proof is worth way more thank 500k.

If it has to be secret, money all day. Remember, no matter how hot a chick is, there's always some dude out there who is tired of fucking her.

Oct 7, 2021 - 1:40pm

Pizz

But what about privacy? U literally will never have any privacy anymore, which is a big negative 

Easy to fix, celebrities do this most of the time.

SafariJoe, wins again!
Oct 5, 2021 - 8:07pm

It depends, does she leave in a timely fashion after we're done or do I have to listen to her talk about her stupid fucking golden doodle?

Oct 6, 2021 - 12:20pm

It's very obvious that most of you have never had sex for 3 years with one woman. I promise you that at a rate of 2.5x per day, it would get old after 6 months. Marginal utility becomes negative at a certain point during those 3 years. 

  • Analyst 1 in IB - Gen
Oct 7, 2021 - 3:10am

3 years of unlimited Bella Hadid > $500k ( basically ~2 years of salary as an associate)

Oct 7, 2021 - 1:40pm

Anonymous Monkey

3 years of unlimited Bella Hadid > $500k ( basically ~2 years of salary as an associate)

I never understood the men desire for this woman.

SafariJoe, wins again!
  • 1
Oct 7, 2021 - 1:40pm

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Oct 7, 2021 - 1:40pm

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SafariJoe, wins again!
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