Zelle is f***king up - Alternatives?

I bank primarily with Capital One 360 and have been happy with it. First there was only Chase QP, but now everyone started using Zelle, and it was very convenient for me. I receive money and pay people with Zelle all the time. Yesterday, some work was completed on a property I manage around 10PM and I went to pay the contractor. I owe him $2,200 and their daily limit is $2K. That's annoying, but fine. People are cool with that typically. So I go to pay these guys their $2K last night and was going to send the $200 this morning. They say they can't send it because my phone isn't verifiable. I've had the same number for fucking 15 years and used this same process a bunch of times. I have to call them. OK so now I'm a day behind paying a contractor.

I just got off the phone with them. They had me on the phone for 45 minutes and I spoke with three people. The conclusion was that they fucked up on their end and have to reset my shit and I'll be able to send money 24 hours from NOW. Not when I originally tried even. So now the earliest I can pay anyone is tomorrow morning. And chances are, if they're fucking up now, they're gonna keep fucking up. This is the second time this has happened to me and they told me before they had whitelisted my shit. Now I need to drive like a fucking hour out of my way to maintain a good relationship with a valued contractor. So these guys are sticking their dicks right in my earholes and not even saying excuse me. I spoke with a manager and he's like, "Well, you can always overnight a cashier's check for $20." Fuck yourself, dude. And fuck Zelle. How much cash in the money market do you need for them to do what you want?

Anyway, rant over, fuck these guys, what are good alternatives? They've proven unreliable. Telling me about how they're going through changes and pendulum swings and shit? Son, iron your shit out before golive you fuckwits. You're playing with my money and that's no good.

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Comments (21)

Jun 25, 2018 - 11:10am

Transaction fee & not a lot of people have it
I like PayPal a lot actually but people are weirded out by it for whatever reason


Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

Jun 25, 2018 - 11:43am

I'm old and have used paypal for nearly 2 decades without a single issue. Seems like most folks use Venmo these days. I don't know anything about Venmo though. Is it safe and effective?


  • 1
Jun 25, 2018 - 5:13pm

There's a transaction fee and you can dispute charges after the fact and claw back. So not really. But it works for buying weed from my brother.

I'm with you on PayPal, but people associate it with Ebay confuses most people. Fact is most people I have to pay won't have it and I'm not going to ask them to download an app. I keep it in the back pocket for paying people and use it a bunch for my Ebay business. My favorite part is that I can charge shit on my card that I'd normally have to pay cash for. So I can wait a month to actually fork over the funds and I get reward points.


Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

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Jun 25, 2018 - 12:00pm

I've had good experiences with apple pay once everything is set up. If your contractors are using iphones it's pretty flawless.

Cash app is pretty good as well although they charge 1%(double check me on this) if you withdraw your money instantly. No fee if you wait 2-3 business days.

I primarily use cash app, and have never had a problem with them. Once you link it to your debit card (don't use a credit card as the fees are around 3% iirc) it is pretty instantaneous. I cashed out this morning, and the money hit my account in

Jun 25, 2018 - 5:15pm

I don't use Apple stuff (aside from my engraved iPod shuffle my wife got me a few years ago which is great, but I'll still replace it with a non-Apple product for workouts when it breaks). Sounds good, but just not for me. Thank you though.


Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

Jun 25, 2018 - 2:25pm

I feel like Venmo isn't secure enough for this, people mostly use it to pay each other for beers and brunch tabs.

Quant (ˈkwänt) n: An expert, someone who knows more and more about less and less until they know everything about nothing.

  • 3
Jul 3, 2018 - 12:34am

Venmo has a weekly limit (rolling) of $3,000/wk fyi.

Kind of unrelated but when crypto comes bouncing back, check out NANO: instant + fee-less.


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Jul 3, 2018 - 4:31pm

A bit of shameless self-promotion here, but have you heard of Lndr? It's Venmo/Zelle for the blockchain. Same idea - split bills, share expenses, track and settle casual debts or IOUs with your friends. The difference is that you can settle up in Ether and the app is decentralized. No central database, no personal details, no third parties. It's available for both iOS and Android.

Fiat currency settlement (and possibly PayPal) is coming later this month, with other cryptocurrencies to be added soon after. But if you're fine with settling up your IOUs in Ether, you can start using it now.

We're always open to feedback so if you use Lndr, please share your thoughts! Cheers


Venmo has a weekly limit (rolling) of $3,000/wk fyi.

Kind of unrelated but when crypto comes bouncing back, check out NANO: instant + fee-less.

Jul 3, 2018 - 2:06am

As someone who has been dealing with it from the middle party as the bank in between let me fucking tell you it is an absolute nightmare. My clients have had so many fucking problems with it. I 99% of the time want to tell them to just use a different service like paypal or venmo but at the same time dont want to undermine the bank. I 100% agree that if you are going to roll something out at least make sure its fucking flawless. Half the time im stuck holding a bag of dog shit because not only can you (the client) not figure it out, but my bank and my associates cant figure it out either. So now the client is pissed at me. Fuck ZELLE. PERIOD.

Jul 3, 2018 - 10:17am

Square Cash and Paypal are my preferred versions...

or, just pay him in Crypto...because all contractors take crypto, right?

Director of Finance and Corporate Development: 2020 - Present Manager of FP&A and Corporate Development: 2019 - 2020 Corporate Finance, Strategy and Development: 2011 - 2019 "An investment in knowledge pays the best interest." - Benjamin Franklin
Jul 3, 2018 - 9:23pm

I think your best bet is probably going to be PayPal. It's pretty stable and quite secure.

Made ya look
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