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I Hope You Fail
 

InefficientMarkets's picture
PE
(Monkey, 32
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 11:00am
youwillfail.jpg

I’m going to come out and say it straight away. I hope you guys don’t get Front Office jobs. I hope you don’t even get Middle Office or Back Office jobs. In fact, I hope you enter a field as far removed from finance as possible.

No, this isn’t some TED talk or a motivational speech where I tell you to pursue your passion. This is from a guy who spent a ton of money, endured hundreds of awkward networking calls, and risked firms calling the police on him to break into the industry.

This is from a guy who is horrible at interviews and had to spend eight hours a day practicing his answers to common behavioral questions like “Tell me about a team situation” in front of the mirror and in front of friends.

This is from a guy that’s currently working for next to nothing (by any reasonable standard) in order to gain experience and start building his career. I don’t want to be competing against thousands of kids for the same spot. I don’t even want to be competing against a hundred (again, bad at interviews).

Go ahead, throw your rotten tomatoes, monkey shit at me. I don’t care. Trade places with me and see the reality. Most of us are entry level grunts and we’re all completely interchangeable.

Why can’t your employer replace you with the next warm body that knows how to use Excel and will work for less money than you? Why are you different or special?

Don’t give me some bullshit about adding value, because quite frankly no one can add value coming out of undergrad. You’re not necessary. For the record, no one likes your jokes.

Honestly, I’m not an asshole, I’m just trying to help you out. You have to look out for yourself first. It’s something that I’ve had to learn quickly. If that means pulling ridiculous hours, working until you pass out, then that’s what you have to do to differentiate yourself. You can’t just sit around and hope that the Boss Man drops a huge bonus check into your lap. You have to move with the knowledge that there’s some guy/girl breathing down your neck who will not hesitate to take your job if you get complacent, especially in this economy.

Your finance job isn’t safe. You aren’t safe.

So, prospective monkeys, please, go ahead and attend that info session on management consulting or corporate development (I hear they have great hours).

See my other WSO Blog Posts

Comments

Boothorbust's picture

You sound like a bitter

O
(King Kong, 1,130
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 10:45am

You sound like a bitter no-talent assclown

HWF's picture

This post makes no sense.

(Monkey, 49
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 10:46am

This post makes no sense.

Imperialian's picture

what are you trying to

ST
(Baboon, 173
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 10:51am

what are you trying to show????

There's so many factors that determine whether you succeed anot. What you did are just some factors. There are so many other variables to consider like which school you came from, the city you are at, who your father is, hell, the size of your boobs if you are in sales.

if you think you will succeed cos you are v competitive by working for free and making alot of cold calls, you are dead wrong.

1sttimebanker's picture

I see no sense in saying

IB
(Monkey, 41
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 10:54am

I see no sense in saying that. I understand you may have a couple of weaknesses in interviews, but in the end, the cream of the crop comes from those who actually work hard and are well-rounded, capable of handling the hours as well as those interviews.

Also, you can honestly know each and every question that would be asked, keeping an insane math curveball, by just reading a couple of the common finance interview and IBD interview guides. The time you spent typing that little rant could have been better utilized just reading into how to better yourself. PS thats how you actually create value, by making something out of yourself in the time available instead of ranting about your issues.

BlackHat's picture

I know a lot of people like

HF
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 10:57am

I know a lot of people like you. There's a reason you're bad at interviews. Examine your motives.

I hate victims who respect their executioners

Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
twitter.com/DumbLuckCapital

In reply to HWF
Kassad's picture

HWF: This post makes no

IB
(King Kong, 1,244
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 11:01am
HWF:

This post makes no sense.

LOL, my thoughts exactly. +1.

The Kid's picture

Yes, those in entry level

O
(Gorilla, 636
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 11:16am

Yes, those in entry level roles are interchangeable but the two important things to remember are:

1) Analyst positions exist for a reason. The higher ups who bring in the money need support so they can continue to focus on building relationships and bringing in money. Sooner or later, problems will occur if people try to do it all (this applies for all organizations, teams, groups, companies, clubs, etc.) Key words: hierarchy, delegation, roles & responsibilities.

2) "Interchangeable" isn't a flip of a switch. It takes time, effort, and money to recruit, train, and implement new employees. So let's assume EVERYONE applying for an analyst position majored in finance and is proficient in excel. The recruiting process is set up to figure out who will "get it" when they are on the job (i.e. will fit in, will have a good attitude, will put in the long hours and work hard, will follow directions and pay attention to detail, can be trusted to work on projects without needing to be spoon fead, can be resourceful and figure things out on their own ... all of these qualities are necessary to effectively SUPPORT those that bring in the money).

So the main goal of recruiting is to do it right the first time so they don't have to wait and see if someone will be a good analyst or not.

awqtfq's picture

You sound like you have a

(Orangutan, 250
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 11:19am

You sound like you have a personality disorder, you should see a psychiatrist.

Disincentivy's picture

OP, maybe if you forget that

VC
(Gorilla, 712
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 11:20am

OP, maybe if you forget that you are a prospective analyst and remember that you are a human, you will do and feel better.

I may not be on the Jedi Council, but I sure am great with the Force.

See my WSO blog posts

blastoise's picture

Lol good thing to wake up

O
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 11:23am

Lol good thing to wake up to.

OP did you go to Vtech or Rutgers?

Downeasta's picture

I wish had more credits, so I

IB
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 11:31am

I wish had more credits, so I could throw some shit at you.

In reply to Disincentivy
Scott Irish's picture

Disincentivy: OP, maybe if

O
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 11:33am
Disincentivy:

OP, maybe if you forget that you are a prospective analyst and remember that you are a human, you will do and feel better.

Your avatar makes me hot, I can't help myself

animalz's picture

InefficientMarkets: I’m going

 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 11:38am
InefficientMarkets:

I’m going to come out and say it straight away. I hope you guys don’t get Front Office jobs. I hope you don’t even get Middle Office or Back Office jobs. In fact, I hope you enter a field as far removed from finance as possible.

let me guess

you weigh around 50-60kg
between 160-170cm height
square shoes
wrinkled tie
bad grades
never seen a woman naked (cept on the www)

?

GoW's picture

The best part about this

IB
(Orangutan, 332
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 11:35am

The best part about this trollolol is the fact that his button says he's a 2nd year PE analyst.

In reply to Scott Irish
Disincentivy's picture

Scott

VC
(Gorilla, 712
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 11:38am
Scott Irish:
Disincentivy:

OP, maybe if you forget that you are a prospective analyst and remember that you are a human, you will do and feel better.

Your avatar makes me hot, I can't help myself

Stormtroopettes know how to rock those party dresses.

I may not be on the Jedi Council, but I sure am great with the Force.

See my WSO blog posts

BTbanker's picture

Thanks bro. I'd say right

IB
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 11:38am

"A man generally has two reasons for doing anything. One that sounds good, and the real one." - J.P. Morgan

In reply to God of Wine
animalz's picture

God of Wine: The best part

 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 11:39am
FormerHornetDriver's picture

Please, will someone just

IB
(Orangutan, 363
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 11:45am
J_monkey's picture

Two words: Exit Opps

O
(Baboon, 165
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 11:53am
In reply to BVMadden
acronym's picture

BVMadden: You sound like you

CO
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 11:54am

"'In summary, people are morons and who cares. Make a shit ton of money. I've never seen a Ferrari paid for by what people think.' - ANT" -rufiolove

CanadianPositiveCarry's picture

what are you talking bout?

IB
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 11:55am
WalMartShopper's picture

flattery will get you nowhere

 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 11:56am

If the glove don't fit, you must acquit!

dannyocean's picture

What the hell is going on

(Chimp, 5
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 12:05pm
In reply to BlackHat
WallStreetOasis.com's picture

BlackHat: I know a lot of

EN
(Human, 12,207
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 12:21pm

WSO Conference 2013

Private Certified User Chat

InefficientMarkets's picture

My goal was to present an

PE
(Monkey, 32
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 12:42pm

See my other WSO Blog Posts

grapefury's picture

OP, you are saying that

(Baboon, 120
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 12:50pm
shorttheworld's picture

op is qqq cuz he gg no re

EN
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 12:54pm

I need a crib, a big estate, I need a boat and that need a lake, I need some salmon that need a plate, that need a chef so I feed my safe

From trading equities to slanging wine in Latin America

A ship is safe in harbor, but that is not what a ship i

futurectdoc's picture

I lol'd at "This is from a

IB
(King Kong, 1,692
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 12:56pm
IlliniProgrammer's picture

Guys, there's a point in all

ST
(Almost Human, 9,257
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 1:05pm

Work hard, play hard.

In reply to IlliniProgrammer
BlackHat's picture

IlliniProgrammer: Guys,

HF
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 1:55pm

I hate victims who respect their executioners

Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
twitter.com/DumbLuckCapital

Old Grand-Dad's picture

[quote=InefficientMarketsThis

IB
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 2:06pm
Anacott_CEO's picture

I don't get it

CF
(King Kong, 1,260
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 2:07pm
IlliniProgrammer's picture

Finance isn't the only

ST
(Almost Human, 9,257
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 2:08pm

Work hard, play hard.

In reply to FormerHornetDriver
UFOinsider's picture

FormerHornetDriver: Please,

O
(Human, 10,478
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 2:10pm

I notice that the older I am the more I sound like Illini Programer

- accountingbyday

Stringer Bell's picture

You don't work in finance,

PE
(King Kong, 1,682
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 2:57pm
Flake's picture

This can't be real.

ER
(Neanderthal, 3,670
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 3:57pm

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into SWANSONS.

Studiofan's picture

Why the hell are you so

IB
(Orangutan, 253
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 4:03pm
BlackHat's picture

Whenever I read the title of

HF
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 4:10pm

I hate victims who respect their executioners

Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
twitter.com/DumbLuckCapital

LiquidDreams's picture

Awwww, Mommy must've told you

(Monkey, 60
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 4:32pm
happypantsmcgee's picture

This is a complete waste of

O
(Almost Human, 9,627
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 4:40pm

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

ginNtonic's picture

I'm just going to roll my

(Gorilla, 562
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 4:52pm
BanditPandit's picture

Hi

O
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 5:09pm
CanadianPositiveCarry's picture

lol, also, I got 2/3 offers

IB
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 5:22pm
In reply to CanadianPositiveCarry
CanadianPositiveCarry's picture

I always help out*

IB
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 5:26pm
In reply to CanadianPositiveCarry
IlliniProgrammer's picture

Folks need to realize that

ST
(Almost Human, 9,257
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 5:47pm

Work hard, play hard.

Brady4MVP's picture

One of the most sad posts

HF
(Neanderthal, 3,161
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 5:56pm
marcellus_wallace's picture

YOU JELLY BRO? ohhh, you

ST
(King Kong, 1,643
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 6:05pm
WhiteHat's picture

The kids like OP are the

HF
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 6:17pm

Reality denied comes back to haunt

See my WSO Blog

Lmar's picture

"Honestly, I’m not an

 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 7:26pm
couchy's picture

well there is one good point

(King Kong, 1,390
 
Points)
 on 6/17/12 at 7:06pm

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