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Mod note (Andy): Throwback Thursday - this originally went up Aug 2012 while most of you were still playing jv hopscotch. If you haven't read Bankerella's posts, go through each and every one of them now, they're fantastic. fwiw this post also went up on CNBC. Enjoy!

Okay, today's advice comes with a dirty little secret.

One thing a banker girl (or any 20-something single chick working 80+ hours a week in a stressful environment) needs is the ability to occasionally have some fun with with very little advance notice and with no strings attached.

(Sure, the perfect girl is a bastion of sexual morality and never dates anyone casually, but that's just not relevant here.) So as a banker chick, you need to get maximum hedonic return on the few hours you have left to yourself, and let's face it, those hours aren't enough to gently nurture a budding but delicate relationship. You need to be strategic about how you use that time, so you need to find people (or a person) who can do the same.

If you're reasonably hot, you'll have no lack of candidates for the role. It's like a resume screen: you need to apply some sort of quick initial test to focus in on candidates who are more likely to be rock stars.

So here are my rankings, based on my own experiences and the experiences of a few friends.

Bear in mind, this is not exactly a scientific sample. (And guys, if my description doesn't fit your dating style, don't feel like I'm dissing you personally. All that means is that you're probably not a part of the sample.)

So. First, you could go with a fellow banker. I give the banker guy one star out of three. Pros: not clingy, spends money. Cons: Frequently not available. Work is always top-of-mind. Things stall when work gets heavy. Unfortunate tendency to end phone calls with "Thanks. Bye." Also, there's just too much room for comparison. There's just no way to not compare status, deals, money. You have to be okay with that going in.

PE guy: 2 stars. Same pros as the banker guy with fewer cons, more confidence, and more free time.

Consultant guy: 1.5 stars. Pros: Has lots and lots of miles and points. Stays out of your hair Monday through Thursday. Cons: Who cares about miles and points? Frequently not there when needed. Uses a mouse. Has an inflated opinion of the importance of his work. And just as things are hitting a good rhythm, he gets transferred or restaffed to some other city.

PWM guy: One star. Pros: Knows all the good restaurants, expenses everything. Cons: Too fake, too fratty, too status-oriented, seems to put girls into two buckets: marriage material and date rape territory. Talks endlessly. Can't be squeezed into a two-hour time slot.

Hedge fund guy: my sample is weak here; would benchmark him to PE guy with potential upside based on role, experience, and personality.

Trader guy: Three stars. Pros: transactional awareness, speed, bandwidth, value/time ratio, ability to close out the trade and walk away without drama. Typically feel they have something to prove, like to throw money around. Cons: Slightly scruffier than the guys above. Thinks that traders (rather than bankers) are masters of the universe. Keeps comparing his best month's earnings to your average month; sometimes "forgets" to add in your bonus. (It's not discretionary! It's a sure thing!) Most importantly: when he has a bad day, it's a really bad day.

Net-net, I obviously think traders carry the day here. They understand the transaction right out of the gate, they're fun as hell, they don't care about their reputations, they don't work (much) from home, they're usually available, and they're comfortable going 0 to 60 in twenty minutes if that's the order of the day. If they're judgmental about what a girl wants, at least they're smart enough to keep their mouths shut about it.

So, chicas, take Auntie's advice and think about keeping a trader's number on your phone. Oh, and obviously: choose carefully, be discreet, always be a lady in public, and always, always, ALWAYS wrap it up before you ride it.

Comments (283)

  • MissNG's picture

    I enjoyed that.. thanks for sharing bankerella

    "Dont compromise yourself; you're all you've got" - Janis Joplin

  • BlackHat's picture

    Having an extremely hard time believing there's a girl in the world who doesn't like a little scruff.

    I hate victims who respect their executioners

  • Tommy Too-toned's picture

    You forgot about entrepreneurs.

    They're confident, driven, and usually hot. And they know how to transact in a variety of ways, from straight-up to back-side, organic growth to mergers.

    Don't you want someone confident calling the shots after dark? You know, someone who's been around the block, seen a lot of things? Or are you more of a mentor?

    It comes down to personal preference, but I'll just say that I don't know a lot of traders doing yoga. Entrepreneurs - the hips are loose and battle-ready.

  • In reply to Tommy Too-toned
    bankerella's picture

    Tommy Too-toned wrote:
    You forgot about entrepreneurs.

    They're confident, driven, and usually hot. And they know how to transact in a variety of ways, from straight-up to back-side, organic growth to mergers.

    Don't you want someone confident calling the shots after dark? You know, someone who's been around the block, seen a lot of things? Or are you more of a mentor?

    It comes down to personal preference, but I'll just say that I don't know a lot of traders doing yoga. Entrepreneurs - the hips are loose and battle-ready.

    Valid point. The major downside I see there is that entrepreneurs are always working, even when they're asleep. The best ones have a vision and a drive that pretty much consumes all available time and mental resources. However, I agree that bring a charming idealism and energy to the table that you can't get anywhere else. So, I should probably consider broadening the sample set a little.

  • In reply to Tommy Too-toned
    BlackHat's picture

    Tommy Too-toned wrote:
    You forgot about entrepreneurs.

    They're confident, driven, and usually hot. And they know how to transact in a variety of ways, from straight-up to back-side, organic growth to mergers.

    Don't you want someone confident calling the shots after dark? You know, someone who's been around the block, seen a lot of things? Or are you more of a mentor?

    It comes down to personal preference, but I'll just say that I don't know a lot of traders doing yoga. Entrepreneurs - the hips are loose and battle-ready.

    Oh yeah - total ballers.

    I hate victims who respect their executioners

  • Frieds's picture

    This made me chuckle. And it's a pretty good description of most finances types even without the whole hookup thing involved. I'm glad it was on the main page otherwise I wouldn't have seen it. +1 SB for you.

  • 帝都大蜜's picture

    Surprisingly, I find this especially helpful for my future screening out finance guys. I saved it. One suggestion: the consulting guys and PWM guys need not be included.

    "I already know I'm going to Hell. So, at this point it's go big or go home"

  • In reply to BlackHat
    Abdel's picture

    BlackHat wrote:
    Abdel wrote:

    I saw her in real. Wasn't impressed by her performance.

    Why? She have bad Ape Technique?

    There was too much make up going on all over her face. Seems like she had something to hide.

    Just don't be surprised if you wake up next to her and that 8/10 of the earlier night turned into a 5.5 in the morning.

    You have been warned. All in all, you can always throw that superman punch to escape. lol

  • huanleshalemei's picture

    Haha, very nice post! Why can't be on the first page?

    A always poked me back in college; B sent email to the entire class asking me where I "got laid last night". Now A is a trader and B is an entrepreneur. So I prefer nerdy bankers.

    The Auto Show

  • In reply to huanleshalemei
    SirTradesaLot's picture

    huanleshalemei wrote:
    Haha, very nice post! Why can't be on the first page?

    A always poked me back in college; B sent email to the entire class asking me where I "got laid last night". Now A is a trader and B is an entrepreneur. So I prefer nerdy bankers.


    ???

    adapt or die wrote:
    What would P.T. Barnum say about you?

    MY BLOG

  • In reply to peterg
    BlackHat's picture

    peterg wrote:
    Knowledge Kick wrote:
    This is the most annoying post I've read since joining this forum. Straight garbage. Just...annoying...ugh.

    So, you must have missed the 10 posts on how to score a 760 on the GMAT.

    lmao

    I hate victims who respect their executioners

  • sayandarula's picture

    if you're looking for a one night stand, why even go with the finance/consulting types? why not go for an athlete or a homeless hipster??

    or corporate FP&A professionals. i hear those guys are GREAT in the sack..

    Money Never Sleeps? More like Money Never SUCKS amirite?!?!?!?

  • In reply to SirTradesaLot
    huanleshalemei's picture

    SirPoopsaLot wrote:
    huanleshalemei wrote:
    Haha, very nice post! Why can't be on the first page?

    A always poked me back in college; B sent email to the entire class asking me where I "got laid last night". Now A is a trader and B is an entrepreneur. So I prefer nerdy bankers.


    ???

    Thanks SirPoopsaLot, you just quoted something I definitely want to edit or delete later. Ok, it's not "poked", it's "made fun of".

    The Auto Show

  • Senvik's picture

    Ugh I just want to facepalm reading this. Separating people by their professions is retarded. If you want a quick fuck, get an escort. Any time, any where.

    "You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." - IlliniProgrammer

  • RE Capital Markets's picture

    bankerella wrote:
    Okay, today's advice comes with a dirty little secret.

    One thing a banker girl (or any 20-something single chick working 80+ hours a week in a stressful environment) needs is the ability to occasionally have some fun with with very little advance notice and with no strings attached.

    (Sure, the perfect girl is a bastion of sexual morality and never dates anyone casually, but that's just not relevant here.) So as a banker chick, you need to get maximum hedonic return on the few hours you have left to yourself, and let's face it, those hours aren't enough to gently nurture a budding but delicate relationship. You need to be strategic about how you use that time, so you need to find people (or a person) who can do the same.

    If you're reasonably hot, you'll have no lack of candidates for the role. It's like a resume screen: you need to apply some sort of quick initial test to focus in on candidates who are more likely to be rock stars.

    So here are my rankings, based on my own experiences and the experiences of a few friends.

    Bear in mind, this is not exactly a scientific sample. (And guys, if my description doesn't fit your dating style, don't feel like I'm dissing you personally. All that means is that you're probably not a part of the sample.)

    So. First, you could go with a fellow banker. I give the banker guy one star out of three. Pros: not clingy, spends money. Cons: Frequently not available. Work is always top-of-mind. Things stall when work gets heavy. Unfortunate tendency to end phone calls with "Thanks. Bye." Also, there's just too much room for comparison. There's just no way to not compare status, deals, money. You have to be okay with that going in.

    PE guy: 2 stars. Same pros as the banker guy with fewer cons, more confidence, and more free time.

    Consultant guy: 1.5 stars. Pros: Has lots and lots of miles and points. Stays out of your hair Monday through Thursday. Cons: Who cares about miles and points? Frequently not there when needed. Uses a mouse. Has an inflated opinion of the importance of his work. And just as things are hitting a good rhythm, he gets transferred or restaffed to some other city.

    PWM guy: One star. Pros: Knows all the good restaurants, expenses everything. Cons: Too fake, too fratty, too status-oriented, seems to put girls into two buckets: marriage material and date rape territory. Talks endlessly. Can't be squeezed into a two-hour time slot.

    Hedge fund guy: my sample is weak here; would benchmark him to PE guy with potential upside based on role, experience, and personality.

    Trader guy: Three stars. Pros: transactional awareness, speed, bandwidth, value/time ratio, ability to close out the trade and walk away without drama. Typically feel they have something to prove, like to throw money around. Cons: Slightly scruffier than the guys above. Thinks that traders (rather than bankers) are masters of the universe. Keeps comparing his best month's earnings to your average month; sometimes "forgets" to add in your bonus. (It's not discretionary! It's a sure thing!) Most importantly: when he has a bad day, it's a really bad day.

    Net-net, I obviously think traders carry the day here. They understand the transaction right out of the gate, they're fun as hell, they don't care about their reputations, they don't work (much) from home, they're usually available, and they're comfortable going 0 to 60 in twenty minutes if that's the order of the day. If they're judgmental about what a girl wants, at least they're smart enough to keep their mouths shut about it.

    So, chicas, take Auntie's advice and think about keeping a trader's number on your phone. Oh, and obviously: choose carefully, be discreet, always be a lady in public, and always, always, ALWAYS wrap it up before you ride it.

    You need to expand your dating pool.

    Man made money, money never made the man

  • BlackHat's picture

    Is this your way of saying the HF guys just aren't that in to you?

    :(

    I hate victims who respect their executioners

  • FranciscoDAnconia's picture

    bankerella wrote:
    Okay, today's advice comes with a dirty little secret.

    One thing a banker girl (or any 20-something single chick working 80+ hours a week in a stressful environment) needs is the ability to occasionally have some fun with with very little advance notice and with no strings attached.

    (Sure, the perfect girl is a bastion of sexual morality and never dates anyone casually, but that's just not relevant here.) So as a banker chick, you need to get maximum hedonic return on the few hours you have left to yourself, and let's face it, those hours aren't enough to gently nurture a budding but delicate relationship. You need to be strategic about how you use that time, so you need to find people (or a person) who can do the same.

    If you're reasonably hot, you'll have no lack of candidates for the role. It's like a resume screen: you need to apply some sort of quick initial test to focus in on candidates who are more likely to be rock stars.

    So here are my rankings, based on my own experiences and the experiences of a few friends.

    Bear in mind, this is not exactly a scientific sample. (And guys, if my description doesn't fit your dating style, don't feel like I'm dissing you personally. All that means is that you're probably not a part of the sample.)

    So. First, you could go with a fellow banker. I give the banker guy one star out of three. Pros: not clingy, spends money. Cons: Frequently not available. Work is always top-of-mind. Things stall when work gets heavy. Unfortunate tendency to end phone calls with "Thanks. Bye." Also, there's just too much room for comparison. There's just no way to not compare status, deals, money. You have to be okay with that going in.

    PE guy: 2 stars. Same pros as the banker guy with fewer cons, more confidence, and more free time.

    Consultant guy: 1.5 stars. Pros: Has lots and lots of miles and points. Stays out of your hair Monday through Thursday. Cons: Who cares about miles and points? Frequently not there when needed. Uses a mouse. Has an inflated opinion of the importance of his work. And just as things are hitting a good rhythm, he gets transferred or restaffed to some other city.

    PWM guy: One star. Pros: Knows all the good restaurants, expenses everything. Cons: Too fake, too fratty, too status-oriented, seems to put girls into two buckets: marriage material and date rape territory. Talks endlessly. Can't be squeezed into a two-hour time slot.

    Hedge fund guy: my sample is weak here; would benchmark him to PE guy with potential upside based on role, experience, and personality.

    Trader guy: Three stars. Pros: transactional awareness, speed, bandwidth, value/time ratio, ability to close out the trade and walk away without drama. Typically feel they have something to prove, like to throw money around. Cons: Slightly scruffier than the guys above. Thinks that traders (rather than bankers) are masters of the universe. Keeps comparing his best month's earnings to your average month; sometimes "forgets" to add in your bonus. (It's not discretionary! It's a sure thing!) Most importantly: when he has a bad day, it's a really bad day.

    Net-net, I obviously think traders carry the day here. They understand the transaction right out of the gate, they're fun as hell, they don't care about their reputations, they don't work (much) from home, they're usually available, and they're comfortable going 0 to 60 in twenty minutes if that's the order of the day. If they're judgmental about what a girl wants, at least they're smart enough to keep their mouths shut about it.

    So, chicas, take Auntie's advice and think about keeping a trader's number on your phone. Oh, and obviously: choose carefully, be discreet, always be a lady in public, and always, always, ALWAYS wrap it up before you ride it.

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