What every banker girl needs
mod (Andy) note: in honor of Carney posting this back up on CNBC today, I thought it'd be good to have it back up on WSO for those who missed it, and to keep Bankerella's groupies ("Bankerella's boys") happy
Okay, today's advice comes with a dirty little secret.
One thing a banker girl (or any 20-something single chick working 80+ hours a week in a stressful environment) needs is the ability to occasionally have some fun with with very little advance notice and with no strings attached.
(Sure, the perfect girl is a bastion of sexual morality and never dates anyone casually, but that's just not relevant here.) So as a banker chick, you need to get maximum hedonic return on the few hours you have left to yourself, and let's face it, those hours aren't enough to gently nurture a budding but delicate relationship. You need to be strategic about how you use that time, so you need to find people (or a person) who can do the same.
If you're reasonably hot, you'll have no lack of candidates for the role. It's like a resume screen: you need to apply some sort of quick initial test to focus in on candidates who are more likely to be rock stars.
So here are my rankings, based on my own experiences and the experiences of a few friends.
Bear in mind, this is not exactly a scientific sample. (And guys, if my description doesn't fit your dating style, don't feel like I'm dissing you personally. All that means is that you're probably not a part of the sample.)
So. First, you could go with a fellow banker. I give the banker guy one star out of three. Pros: not clingy, spends money. Cons: Frequently not available. Work is always top-of-mind. Things stall when work gets heavy. Unfortunate tendency to end phone calls with "Thanks. Bye." Also, there's just too much room for comparison. There's just no way to not compare status, deals, money. You have to be okay with that going in.
PE guy: 2 stars. Same pros as the banker guy with fewer cons, more confidence, and more free time.
Consultant guy: 1.5 stars. Pros: Has lots and lots of miles and points. Stays out of your hair Monday through Thursday. Cons: Who cares about miles and points? Frequently not there when needed. Uses a mouse. Has an inflated opinion of the importance of his work. And just as things are hitting a good rhythm, he gets transferred or restaffed to some other city.
PWM guy: One star. Pros: Knows all the good restaurants, expenses everything. Cons: Too fake, too fratty, too status-oriented, seems to put girls into two buckets: marriage material and date rape territory. Talks endlessly. Can't be squeezed into a two-hour time slot.
Hedge fund guy: my sample is weak here; would benchmark him to PE guy with potential upside based on role, experience, and personality.
Trader guy: Three stars. Pros: transactional awareness, speed, bandwidth, value/time ratio, ability to close out the trade and walk away without drama. Typically feel they have something to prove, like to throw money around. Cons: Slightly scruffier than the guys above. Thinks that traders (rather than bankers) are masters of the universe. Keeps comparing his best month's earnings to your average month; sometimes "forgets" to add in your bonus. (It's not discretionary! It's a sure thing!) Most importantly: when he has a bad day, it's a really bad day.
Net-net, I obviously think traders carry the day here. They understand the transaction right out of the gate, they're fun as hell, they don't care about their reputations, they don't work (much) from home, they're usually available, and they're comfortable going 0 to 60 in twenty minutes if that's the order of the day. If they're judgmental about what a girl wants, at least they're smart enough to keep their mouths shut about it.
So, chicas, take Auntie's advice and think about keeping a trader's number on your phone. Oh, and obviously: choose carefully, be discreet, always be a lady in public, and always, always, ALWAYS wrap it up before you ride it.






Comments
post ur pic
post ur pic
post it up you yiddishicup.
post it up you yiddishicup.
Curious: what about research
Curious: what about research and sales?
YOU JUST GOT TROLLED
http://www.troll.me/images/red-foreman322/dont-you...
I enjoyed that.. thanks for
I enjoyed that.. thanks for sharing bankerella
"Dont compromise yourself; you're all you've got" - Janis Joplin
Thats brilliant. Love the cut
Thats brilliant. Love the cut straight to it. Big up the traders.
but its provocative (gets
but its provocative (gets the people going)
Bankerella I love you please
Bankerella I love you please marry me, I will switch careers to trading just to have a shot.
I LOVE YOU
Having an extremely hard time
Having an extremely hard time believing there's a girl in the world who doesn't like a little scruff.
I hate victims who respect their executioners
Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
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You forgot about
You forgot about entrepreneurs.
They're confident, driven, and usually hot. And they know how to transact in a variety of ways, from straight-up to back-side, organic growth to mergers.
Don't you want someone confident calling the shots after dark? You know, someone who's been around the block, seen a lot of things? Or are you more of a mentor?
It comes down to personal preference, but I'll just say that I don't know a lot of traders doing yoga. Entrepreneurs - the hips are loose and battle-ready.
You forgot ADCOM guy from MBA
You forgot ADCOM guy from MBA program at a top-5 school.
Tommy Too-toned: You forgot
You forgot about entrepreneurs.
They're confident, driven, and usually hot. And they know how to transact in a variety of ways, from straight-up to back-side, organic growth to mergers.
Don't you want someone confident calling the shots after dark? You know, someone who's been around the block, seen a lot of things? Or are you more of a mentor?
It comes down to personal preference, but I'll just say that I don't know a lot of traders doing yoga. Entrepreneurs - the hips are loose and battle-ready.
Valid point. The major downside I see there is that entrepreneurs are always working, even when they're asleep. The best ones have a vision and a drive that pretty much consumes all available time and mental resources. However, I agree that bring a charming idealism and energy to the table that you can't get anywhere else. So, I should probably consider broadening the sample set a little.
See my other WSO blog posts
Tommy Too-toned: You forgot
You forgot about entrepreneurs.
They're confident, driven, and usually hot. And they know how to transact in a variety of ways, from straight-up to back-side, organic growth to mergers.
Don't you want someone confident calling the shots after dark? You know, someone who's been around the block, seen a lot of things? Or are you more of a mentor?
It comes down to personal preference, but I'll just say that I don't know a lot of traders doing yoga. Entrepreneurs - the hips are loose and battle-ready.
Oh yeah - total ballers.
I hate victims who respect their executioners
Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
twitter.com/DumbLuckCapital
BlackHat: Having an extremely
Having an extremely hard time believing there's a girl in the world who doesn't like a little scruff.
my wife...
"What every banker girl
"What every banker girl needs";
1. A man.
2. Broom, to clean for man.
3.Oven, to cook for man.
This made me chuckle. And
This made me chuckle. And it's a pretty good description of most finances types even without the whole hookup thing involved. I'm glad it was on the main page otherwise I wouldn't have seen it. +1 SB for you.
IRRelevent: "What every
Who was that babe in the
"A man generally has two reasons for doing anything. One that sounds good, and the real one." - J.P. Morgan
This post def made me laugh a
BTbanker: Who was that babe
Beretta: BTbanker: Who was
I hate victims who respect their executioners
Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
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BlackHat: Beretta: BTbank
"A man generally has two reasons for doing anything. One that sounds good, and the real one." - J.P. Morgan
Surprisingly, I find this
"I already know I'm going to Hell. So, at this point it's go big or go home"
帝都大蜜: Surprisingly, I find
"A man generally has two reasons for doing anything. One that sounds good, and the real one." - J.P. Morgan
BlackHat: Beretta: BTbank
Abdel: I saw her in real.
I hate victims who respect their executioners
Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
twitter.com/DumbLuckCapital
BlackHat: Abdel: I saw her
...and this is why I don't
Check out my Blog
Unforseen: ...and this is why
And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time
This is the most annoying
http://DollarDrip.com Username: Knowledge Kick
Wait, so to be clear, you're
BlackHat: Second picture...
"Well, you know, I was a human being before I became a businessman." -- George Soros
Haha, very nice post! Why
The Auto Show
Knowledge Kick: This is the
huanleshalemei: Haha, very
Turbo leverage for capital explosion -- BD Capital
My WSO Blog
peterg: Knowledge
I hate victims who respect their executioners
Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
twitter.com/DumbLuckCapital
IRRelevent: "What every
Unforseen: ...and this is why
if you're looking for a one
Money Never Sleeps? More like Money Never SUCKS amirite?!?!?!?
No love for guys in ER?
West Coast rainmaker: No love
And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time
A good vibe is the only thing
WSOCON 2013 - B Scene
lol at least that has a
http://DollarDrip.com Username: Knowledge Kick
The funny thing about this
SirPoopsaLot: huanleshaleme
The Auto Show
Ugh I just want to facepalm
"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." - IlliniProgrammer
West Coast rainmaker: No love
See my other WSO blog posts
bankerella: Okay, today's
Man made money, money never made the man
Is this your way of saying
I hate victims who respect their executioners
Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
twitter.com/DumbLuckCapital
is this bankerella a yid or
I just have the opinion that