The Best Summer Internship Tips on WSO

Another compilation post by my content intern @Lucas_M, we hope you find these helpful!

IBD Internship Experience by moneymogul Here is a series of 4 posts by moneymogul where he shared his IBD internship experience.

Week 1 of IBD Internship: Training posted by moneymogul

In summary, training day is all about introductions and first impressions. Your HR program managers will be in attendance, and you should take a few seconds out of the multiple intersessions to shake their hands.

Equally important is taking the time to meet the other interns around you. If you attend a non-target school, this is the opportunity to plug yourself into the clique of elite institutions and its future Wall Streeters.

I've heard several bankers' accounts of how they still make it a point to meet up with their intern class colleagues to this day. Besides, you never know when you're going to need a favor over the course of the next couple months; it usually helps to have some rapport built in advance. Make it a point to remember everyone's name. Not because they're going to remember yours, but because it elevates you in their eyes when you recount theirs effortlessly at a later date, almost as if they now owe you something as they fumble around their minds' innermost recesses for a remote clue as to your identity.

- 7 silver bananas

Week 2 of IBD Internship: Hitting the Desk posted by moneymogul

​On each of our cubicles were a new blackberry and an IT manual for setting up our computers and phones. With plenty to keep me busy, I settled down, unpacked, fired up the PC, and began going through the tech guides. ​There was a surprising amount of information to go through in setting everything up.

I had been forewarned anecdotally by an analyst at the firm to learn how to use the phone as soon as possible for conferencing. Apparently interns are expected to set up calls among bankers and clients, and it is deceptively easy to end up having your voicemail messages broadcasted over the line during these calls – so deceptively easy that it's happened several times before. After abandoning the impossible task of setting up my voicemail box, I set out to activate my blackberry: no problem, IT had already taken care of it. Several others reported differently. My curiosity roused, I went to check that each of my banker applications was functioning. I was unable to access most of them, citing server errors or lacking the proper access permissions. I had a feeling that this was going to come back to bite me in the ass when it came time for staffing.

One particular analyst left a very stark impression on the intern class. Her eyes were droopy, but they weren't always. The spots underneath her eyes were noticeably darkened over the past couple years, and she was about to begin her second year with the firm. "I know you guys are excited about this summer. Just do yourself a favor and make sure you're absolutely certain that this is what you want to do. Okay?" She looked to each of us for a binding nod of the head before beginning.


- 34 silver bananas

Week 3 of IBD Internship: The Pitch posted by moneymogul

The team was currently preparing for meetings at a nearby country club with interested strategics and financial sponsors looking to be included in the process. In between the brainstorming messages of senior bankers were formal bid letters mostly from sponsors gradually rolling in throughout the day. I opened each letter with wide eyes amazed at what I was seeing: some of the most recognized names in private equity were making bids for this company I'd never even heard of before and I was getting an inside look at the rationale behind each offer.

The M&A timeline looked like this:

1) Approach potential bidders.
2) Send out teaser materials to interested bidders.
3) Negoatiate and sign Non Disclosure Agreements.
4) Conduct diligence calls and distribute further marketing materials.
5) Solicit first round bids and select second round participants.
6) Hold management presentations and follow-up sessions.
8) Collect second round bids.
9) Review and select finalists.
10) Negotiate transaction contract.
11) Sign and announce.


- 38 silver bananas

Week 4 of IBD Internship: Initiation posted by moneymogul

On the home page of the Wall Street Journal, the fruits of our labor reached out to the eyes of readers all over.

The second years blasted their farewells to the inboxes of the entire group, from lowly interns to the vice chairman. They made one final lap around the floor. Laughter and applause were heard throughout. Messenger bags in hand, the alumni exited into the lobby, down the elevator, and out for celebratory drinks and reminiscence before embarking on the next adventures their lives.

Over hundreds of dollars of pizza, the war room filled itself with the newly minted second year analyst class and my own. Upon exodus of the second year analysts, it was tradition for the graduating first year analyst class and the summer analysts to convene for a celebratory dinner and connect personally. By next summer, they would be gone and the chosen among us would be in training. The summer after, we'd be on the other side of the table celebrating with our own summer interns. Time seemed to have its way of shuffling but never intrinsically changing in this industry.

The grace period for interns had officially ended. With the second year analysts gone, it was now up to us to step up to the plate as interim first year analysts for the remainder of the summer. And ready or not, by late next week it would be made perfectly clear to each of us where we stand in the group. Proving my reliability as a junior resource next week was absolutely essential to the outcome of my summer analyst stint.


- 12 silver bananas

The Best summer internship Tips on WSO Besides moneymogul's internship experience, we have lined up 10 of the best posts offering tips for your upcoming summer internship.

1. A Letter to a Chimp posted by NiuShi

Staying caught in the weeds will only make you frustrated if you're trying to go fast. The last thing that you want to do is to change the template of your PPT slides from Sky Blue to Lark Blue. So take a deep breath, and knock that sucker off your to-do list as fast as humanly possible. Learn how to be efficient with the tasks you don't like to do so you can focus on the big things, the things that matter to you. Keep your head up and your eyes on the prize.

Patience is perhaps your greatest asset that you don't know you possess in abundance, my little chimp. Know the difference between what you can control and what you cannot. You will amaze yourself by how stoic and even-tempered you will become.


- 24 silver bananas

2. Performance of Top Tier vs. Bottom Tier Analysts (Q&A in Comments) posted by WallStreetPlayboys

If you touched it you are responsible. Remember that if you are at the bottom of the totem pole, you're going to be thrown under the bus quickly if things go wrong. Therefore if you are working on a pitchbook and an associate decides to create 2-3 extra slides… Check them. No matter who creates the additional item, check it anyway because if it is incorrect you will be blamed. Naturally, you will have conflicts at some point in the process, but you need to minimize them.

Clean Modeling. This is the final step and quite difficult to accomplish at all times. When working with your team try and jot down how to build the model so a new set of eyes can quickly navigate the spreadsheet. Take the time and do the following: 1) minimize input cells, 2) build model out to simple inputs/formulas allowing the user to change input cells, 3) set up to be printed clearly, 4) clear labelling of actual numbers versus estimates, 5) set up to print all items cleanly.


- 20 silver bananas

3. Q&A: Managing Director in the M&A and PE business w/ 20+ years experience posted by WallStreetOracle

"How to succeed as a woman in investment banking?"

You can't let it bother you that other people look at you differently than if you were a man. Not much you can do about that. But you can make sure you dress and act professionally at all times--while not stifling your personal style. And, similar to what your quote says above, as a woman you have assets that men don't always have in the same way--and I don't mean physical assets. Women tend to be stronger collaborators, able to build consensus instead of going for ego-based conflict (sorry men, I know I am going to hear about this one, but there are things you are better at too.).

Take note of colleagues and superiors that are treating you differently and find mentors within your firm and outside of your firm that can help you build networks of colleagues to rely on. Make sure to ask for promotions early and find out what needs to be done to get one.

And be careful about following the group from the conference into the men's room. I did that once. We miss all of the best parts of the conversation, but there are some places we still shouldn't go.


- 19 silver bananas

4. 7 Practical Tips for Entering 1st Year IBD Analysts posted by @narby"

Don't treat the $25 meal allowance as a target that must be met. Yes you would be leaving money on the table, but sometimes less is more. $25 of anything, even sushi, is a lot of food. Though there are things you can do to counteract this (have a naturally fast metabolism, get a gym membership and use it frequently and right before eating that $25 feast). Saving food for lunch the next day is always an option.

Pay what you must for fast, reliable internet. Invest in a good keyboard, mouse, chair, and at least 1 large monitor. Buy a quality set of earbuds with a quality microphone. You want to be able to take calls and work from home as much as possible in as comfortable of a manner as possible. (Note: this is not the case for groups where facetime is important, nevertheless you should still invest in the above => no group I know expects facetime on weekends)


- 15 silver bananas

5. The sell-side 15 - how to stay fit yet still fit in posted by big unit

Tips on client dinners:
- Most of these dinners will occur at a steakhouse in Tribeca or Midtown. I can't explain it, but for some reason no one takes any risks when it comes to new restaurants - you'll probably go to one of 3-4 steakhouses every couple of weeks for the entirety of your sell-side S&T career. So be prepared for that.
- Get veggie appetizers to offset the red meat. Bacon strips are great, but you need fiber.
- You don't have to scarf everything down when you eat.
- Don't talk with your mouth full, and if there is a lull in a conversation, order a round of drinks - particularly if you are the lead on the dinner (smaller account, or covering for more senior guys)
- DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING TO GO

14 silver bananas

6. The 10 commandments for surviving your summer internship posted by DM123


Dress the part: Invest in the minimum amount of suits and dress shirts. I would argue you need 3 suits and 7 dress shirts. Don't wear anything too trendy. A trendy tight dress shirt might look cool in the dance club but it'll send the wrong message to the MDs: "oh he's still a kid because he dresses like one".

Don't tell anyone your career plans are different than your current job: Even if you landed a tier 2 job that everyone uses as a stepping stone to something better, don't tell people that this is your intention. Your employer needs to think that this is a perfect fit. If your actual goal is to work for a hedge fund, tell that to potential hedge fund hiring managers – don't say anything to people in your current job. Despite what they may promise, they probably can't and won't help you get into a different department, or a different company.


- 9 silver bananas

7. How Not To Screw Up An Internship posted by Jared Dillian

As I've travelled around, nobody loves their job more than traders and bankers, even though you'll never hear a rah-rah speech about it. So, as an intern, if you know enough to ask the right question, that shows that you are informed about what is going on and that you care about the industry, too, then you'll get me talking and we'll have a nice conversation. And maybe I will remember your name. Crucially, the idea is to be informed rather than to sound informed.

- 8 silver bananas

8. 5 Things to Help You Stand Out at Your First Internship posted by @TurnerNovak"

Go from "I think" to "I know" This was something my most recent boss put on every one of my performance reviews and it helped me tremendously. Always work to know things, as opposed to thinking you know. If you are getting new tires put on your car, do you want your mechanic to say "We replaced your tires, I think you should be good to go" or would you prefer "We replaced your tires, you are good to go!" Avoid saying things like "I think it was around 95%", and instead say "It's 95%". This does not mean lie and say you are certain about something, which could be even worse than saying you think you know it. It means you should understand what you are talking about, and research and prepare for every meeting.

Think from your boss's perspective Think about the final product of the work you are giving to your boss. In most cases, he/she will have to pass your work on to their boss. The better you do, the more time it saves for your boss. In my most recent position, my boss had me write a lot of her formal business letters and her presentations because she trusted that I would put something together that she would not need to edit. I always took in mind the audience (her boss, customer, supplier, etc.) and tailored specifically to them.


- 7 silver bananas

9. The BlackHat Interview: 2/4 posted by BlackHat

What do you do to relax or take your mind off work? My favorite hobby is probably MMA and/or Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. It's a very demanding sport physically, but also mentally. Sparring in Jiu Jitsu is really like a chess game, and there's way more strategy and planning in MMA than people give it credit for. I love being able to work on certain finesse techniques and try to set people up in certain positions, so it actually compliments my job pretty well. And let's not forget, when you want to blow off some steam there's no better way to do it than by kicking someone/something in the head. Aside from that I also love a good glass of wine and am a big movie fanatic. I used to play a ton of poker online too but unfortunately we can't do that anymore…

What keeps you motivated? The only thing that really keeps me motivated is that every day in finance is a little different, so life doesn't get too monotonous at work. And like I mentioned, I'm motivated to learn [somewhat] useless information, which you tend to gain a lot of when you're becoming an expert in several different businesses and spending your entire day reading and talking to a variety of people associated with the business or industry.


- 5 silver bananas

10, Summer Analyst at a boutique - the right experience? posted by Newspeak

A couple of my projects included checking over a few large model for mistakes but I have not been tasked with building one of my own. I did one set of public comps and one set of M&A comps. Other than that, it's been a lot of bitch work.

Examples of what I do every day:

  • Updating a spreadsheet with PE/Strategic buyer responses/emails and sending it out in periodic updates to the client.
  • Doing research and due diligence for potential and live deals
  • Doing screens on CapIQ for PE/Strategic buyers that match certain criteria and then checking the list manually to see if they actually fit our client.
  • Making vCards for the senior bankers when they get a new contact
  • Researching random obscure things for ad hoc projects.
  • Adding charts and graphics to powerpoints
  • Sending out road show meeting calendar invites
  • Sending NDAs
  • Summarizing and explaining sets of documents to senior bankers
  • Nagging MDs every few days via email to get in touch with their contacts at PE funds so they can move to the next stages of the process with them.
  • Listening in on phone calls with the client and potential investors


- 1 silver banana

Comments (111)

 
Aug 25, 2015 - 11:09am

Summer Analyst Tips for survival (Originally Posted: 07/07/2011)

Hey all,

For some of us, our internship is almost over. Therefore it'd be great/helpful if we could each share a tip that has helped us survive so far and has been rather effective (it could be the silliest thing imaginable as long as it got results).

  1. Always keep a 5 hour energy within arms length of you, you never know when you'll almost be dozing off and have to go on a call/meeting/some higher up is walking by (especially if you had a late night).
Always be improving
 
Aug 25, 2015 - 11:24am

What to expect at this internship? Tips? (Originally Posted: 05/05/2013)

Hey guys,

I just finished sophomore year and will be starting an internship in sales & trading tomorrow (more of trading though). It's not a conventional American/BB bank so I will be getting exposure in sales, trading and market research almost equally throughout the course of the 2 months.

I know that I will have to write morning reports. I was wondering if anyone that has gone through a trading internship could give me any tips for morning reports that were gained through experience writing these reports? What should I do and what should I avoid?

After the morning reports are done, what do you think my responsibilities will be during the rest of the day? (This is what I'm most unsure about.)

The main reason I'm asking is that, this internship does not have a training period prior to being thrown in, so I want to start off strong with a solid impression of what will be expected.

Thanks a lot!

 
Aug 25, 2015 - 11:44am

Tips for summer internships (Originally Posted: 06/30/2013)

This is my first post, so here it goes.
I attend a non-target school in the OC area and am hoping to get a summer analyst position at a middle market investment bank either in LA or NY. My GPA is not that great, but I started doing better. I'm also a double major in economics and mathematics working on an accounting minor.
I'm currently a summer analyst at a boutique investment bank in Newport, and I have a corporate finance internship coming up in the fall. I also did a corporate finance internship in Asia before I started. I know summer recruiting begins in the fall and I'm planning on attending networking sessions at target schools like USC, Claremont McKenna, Berkeley, etc.
Any tips on how to break into a decent summer position?

 
Aug 25, 2015 - 11:51am

The 1 thing summer interns need to know (Originally Posted: 06/19/2016)

Whether you have already started your internship this summer, or you are waiting to start, there is something you ABSOLUTELY need to know.

If you are like many other summer interns, who are jumping into internships excited about the contributions you are going to make and what you are going to learn...

You're not going to learn anything.

And even if you do, it will be an insignificant amount in the long run.

My point is, what you're learning shouldn't be your priority. It's about the human connections you're going to make.

MAXIMIZE NETWORKING

Go to after-hour events.

Say hello to everyone.

Ask your boss how did his/her weekend go.

This is a PEOPLE world.
It's the PEOPLE who are going to give you opportunities.

What advice do you have for interns?
What do you think is the most important thing he/she should know?

Source: GaryVee

Life is too short to be on WSO. But here I am.
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Aug 25, 2015 - 11:58am

Congrats!

Life is too short to be on WSO. But here I am.
 
Aug 25, 2015 - 12:12pm

Couldn't agree more. a lot of people think their work will simply speak for itself...and they are right in some sense. I always felt that as long as your work is average / slightly above average, being well liked and networking is just as important.

 
Aug 25, 2015 - 11:53am

I totally agree with you on this.

I would add:
- schedule one-on-one's with senior people on the team and learn what got them to where they are. It's a great way to have a sense of what it takes to "make it" in the corporate world. I believe they will learn that it's their organization and people skills, more than their technical skills, that got them there.
- when people ask you to join them for lunch, NEVER say no
- ask for feedback frequently

 
Aug 25, 2015 - 11:54am

Fully agree. Make sure you network and grab coffees with as many people as possible. You wouldn't believe how many people form an opinion about you without ever having spoken to you.

I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing.

See my Blog & AMA

 
Aug 25, 2015 - 11:55am

I'd say that interns have the opportunity to learn plenty, but the opportunity is to learn people smarts, rather than the book smarts type of stuff which their prior 14 years of education have been built around.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, post threads about how to do it on WSO.
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Aug 25, 2015 - 11:56am

Agree with everything except the learning part. There isn't really going to be a way to learn some of these skills without being tested by fire in the industry. That said, soft-skills are obviously of utmost importance because banks can teach anyone how to do the work (eg: history and biology majors in IB or S&T).

Anecdotally, my internship has helped me a great deal and has been an interesting point for networking with others.

 
Aug 25, 2015 - 11:57am

I (partially) disagree. Interns definitely aren't going to learn the exciting things they think they'll learn but they'll definitely learn the environment, networking, and people skills which is just as valuable.

Array
 
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Aug 25, 2015 - 11:59am

Agree with this point. I used to just go to my internships and try to work hard. That didn't get me anywhere. Once I started networking with my supervisors and other people in the company, opportunities started appearing.

My one advice for interns is to be genuine when you approach someone to network. Be yourself, and the people who like you will go the extra mile for you.

Aug 25, 2015 - 12:06pm

Become an interesting person. Have hobbies, and interests outside of finance. Trust me, most of your senior bankers are sick and tired of talking to kids about finance. They're old, out of shape, and tired, Spark up a conversation about something interesting.

You can't learn these skills by reading unfortunately; it's interaction with people where you build this stuff.

I think- therefore I fuck
 
Best Response
Aug 25, 2015 - 12:11pm

ask questions about them. if you can't relate, just ask something along the lines of "what's that like?"

example: I know nothing about the mountain west, I've never been there, don't know anyone who lives there, but if I was an intern and the MD said he's the first person to leave Idaho, rather than saying "lotta potatoes huh?" I'd ask him what growing up there was like. if they like sports, that's easy (assuming you do too). but there are plenty of techniques to build rapport or at least try. dale carnegie's book, as mentioned by others, is immensely helpful here.

if you're hitting dead ends: they play golf, you play cricket, they're from atlanta, you're from a pakistani family in KS, they majored in PPE, you're an accounting & compsci major, they went to a big state school, you went to Duke, you can try probing more "how'd you get into golf?" "what was your experience like at Boise state?" but if that doesn't work, you can always ask about their kids or their home life. just something as simple as "well what about your family?" but be ready to back off if they get hostile (like if they have a bad relationship). this will rarely happen, and more often than not they'll just talk your ears off about their kids and then lunch will be over before you know it.

also, people love talking about themselves, so don't be afraid to ask "how'd you get from where I am today to where you are today?" or "what was that journey like?" or "how has the industry changed during your career?" keep business talk limited, find out what makes them tick (hint: it's not powerpoints and getting to put GS MD on their business card). ask a few questions that show your curiosity about the business, but get to know them as a person. ask things like "what do you do outside the office?" things like that.

eventually, they may ask about you, here's where you need to be careful. you cannot be a question machine the whole time, you have to tell something about yourself, but don't ramble. so if he asks "well what about you? what's your story?" you could say something like "I'm from bumblefuck kansas, my parents came here as babies from pakistan with my grandparents, started a couple of businesses, and I discovered banking after I figured out I didn't want to run a gas station in kansas with my dad, so I got into Duke and I'm hoping this internship can help me get to that next step." at this point, shut up, you've given him enough to probe more if he wants to. don't recite your resume, he doesn't care. from there, he may ask about duke football, ask how big of an adjustment it was from kansas to duke or NYC, what your parents' business was, why banking, etc., and there will be a bit of a back and forth after that.

tip: when you're out eating, mind your posture. I can't tell you how many times I've noticed college kids having god awful posture at lunch. don't puff out your chest like hanz & franz, don't slouch like lurch, but imagine you've got a bowl of hot soup on your head or a stack of books and you're trying to balance it. also, don't order long noodle pasta, ramen, gumbo, etc., unless you're following their lead and they do. you want to be able to eat your meal with one hand, without lurching over the bowl/plate and slurping. take small bites, chew with your mouth closed (again, can't tell you how many times I've seen college kids smack their food, makes me want to puke), and do NOT talk with your mouth full.

 
Aug 25, 2015 - 12:08pm

Thanks a lot for the advice man. I really need to work on my people skills as i had this constant fear of screwing a conversation or sounding like an idiot, or worse, offending someone. Again, really great help from you. 9/10

Oh almost forgot ^^^^^^^ Screw you Brofessor we aint need negativity people like you.

 
Aug 25, 2015 - 12:14pm

Thanks! Just added the source

Life is too short to be on WSO. But here I am.
 
Aug 25, 2015 - 12:15pm

Perception is everything.

“Elections are a futures market for stolen property”
 
Aug 25, 2015 - 12:16pm

One must be, "hardy in their approbation and lavish in their praise" lol. Just be a good person and celebrate other people's success and passion with them, genuinely. They will love you forever and you will finally be able to feed your soul for the first time. You will truly become happy with your life. No shit the only thing we care, think, and want to talk about is about is ourselves. Anyone who has not realized that we are all same has the emotional intelligence and self-awareness of a second grader. Do not have the emotional intelligence of a second grader.

Also try these reads if you can: The Power of Positive Thinking - Norman Vincent & Influence - Robert Cialdini

 
Aug 25, 2015 - 12:21pm

Concepts/things SA need to know (Originally Posted: 03/02/2008)

I know there is a thread on tips for summer analyst covering a variety of things. Just curious though what things SA need to be well versed in concerning different finance concepts or technical areas? Heard posters mention different finance things such as year over year earnings, etc. What concepts or excel formulas or anything else related to technical areas are SA expected to know or should be ready for? Thanks.

 
Aug 25, 2015 - 12:28pm

Congratulations Summer Interns of 2013… Grab a pen. Here are a few words of wisdom. (Originally Posted: 06/05/2013)

Congratulations, you made it. You are a 2013 Goldman Sachs Summer Analyst. You might feel like you just crossed the finish line. But the race hasn’t even started yet.

Most banks hire the majority of their 1st year Analysts from the intern pool. They’ve proven themselves. They’re likely to accept the offer. And it saves HR a shitload of time and money.

Don’t worry if you don’t make the cut. You 've been vetted and hired by Goldman fucking Sachs. Even if this is your last dance here, there are plenty of Vineyard Vines wearing, New Canaan commuting, Morgan Stanley name-dropping 'rainmakers' waiting to pick you up and dust you off. Not making the cut at Goldman is like being traded by the Yankees. You’ll still probably make millions, but it’s just not the same.

So here are 20 tips to help you with your journey:

  1. If your boss smokes, smoke.
  2. If your boss is Indian or Pakistani, learn the rules of cricket. He probably also smokes, so see #1. But be careful, if he doesn't, he's a vegetarian yogi
  3. Don’t wear Hermes ties, ever. You have to earn it
  4. Buy a decent suit or 3, but no cuffed or pleated pants. And don’t wear a tie unless you might have a meeting. No one likes that kind of kiss-ass.
  5. Learn how to tie a double Windsor; just make sure the knot’s not too fat
  6. Keep your shoes shiny, but don’t let anyone see you having your shoes shined. You have to earn it.
  7. If you went to a decent boarding school, subtly find out if anyone who matters went to the same school. Boom, he's your rabbi. At this point, no one cares about college credentials; it's a given.
  8. As it relates to fellow interns, make no mistake about it – it's war:
    1. Let's be clear. It's impossible to compete with female interns. And it's not cool. So don't bother trying.
    2. When a fellow intern leaves his desk, change his screen (or screens) to rolex.com, porsche.com, or morganstanley.com.
    3. Come up with dismissive nicknames for fellow interns (Chico, Bud Fox, Fredo, Bubba, etc.). Hope that it catches on.
    4. When a fellow intern leaves his computer unlocked at the end of the evening, change the signature on his Email settings. Using white font, add any variety of obscene words. No one will see it… except for IT and HR.

9. Don't be too good to do the coffee runs. It shows confidence. Just don’t fuck it up. If you can’t be trusted with coffee, how can you sell bonds or manage risk.

10. Call Bloomberg and have them give you a tutorial on functions. It’s free. And most EDs and above are still using functions and short cuts from 5+ years ago. It's an easy way to impress them. And many of the Bloomberg girls are hot.

11. Leave a jacket on the back of your chair at all times. While you are at it, keep a tie in your drawer. Zegna is a good choice.

12. Ask the secretary for the travel schedules of the senior members of your group for the week ahead. She’s dumb enough to think you are being proactive. But now you know when you can sleep in, hit the gym, or beat the traffic to Southampton.

13. Never tell racist jokes. Always repeat racist jokes in the proper company and be sure to credit 'the other intern' who told you.

14. Don’t offer to buy drinks when out with your seniors; you can’t afford them and it won’t score any points.

15. Don’t brag about being a decent golfer. This should be a given.

16. Bang a (female) intern, and tell the Associates and above about it. If they haven’t ever done it, they sure as hell always wanted to. They’ll respect you for it. And you’ll always be the guy that banged her first, before she ends up marrying that dickhead PMD in Emerging Markets.

17. An MDs jokes are always funny. Period. And if you are at the receiving end of a joke, you better laugh with it. If you take yourself too seriously, no one else will. This is Wall Street. There is no such thing as 'bullying'.

18. Acknowledge the quotes from Caddyshack or Fletch, but don’t make any yourself. You have to earn it. And don't initiate the fist bump that comes with 'Charge it to the Underhills'.

19. This might be the most important one. It’s okay to make a mistake or ask a question. But don’t ever ask the same question or make the same mistake twice. If you do, just know that the world needs ditchdiggers too.

20. Don't talk in the fucking elevators… or at a bar.

 
Aug 25, 2015 - 12:31pm

You know anyone can spot a kiss ass a mile away. Some bosses just put up with it because they're insecure and they like the attention. I've always believed that simply shutting up and doing your work better than every one else was the best way to get noticed by the right people, and promoted.

Among other things, it's posts like these that have made me seriously reconsider my desire to be in the finance industry. I know that this is just one immature post on one forum....but supposedly lots of wall street reads this forum and because the post was not only "front-paged" but because it also wasn't immediately called out for its....ridiculousness...well that's your smoking gun that maybe that posts like this actually do represent wall street.

"It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer." - Albert Einstein
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Aug 25, 2015 - 12:34pm

You are liable to get your ass BEAT if you try and sabotage someone's career, not to mention making an enemy for LIFE, patiently waiting to return the favor.

Rarely will any of my posts have enough forethought/structure to be taken seriously.
 
Aug 25, 2015 - 12:37pm

you know you have nothing else going for you when you're sabotaging people just to make yourself look better

If your dreams don't scare you, then they are not big enough. "There are two types of people in this world: People who say they pee in the shower, and dirty fucking liars."-Louis C.K.
 
Aug 25, 2015 - 12:38pm

I laugh at the seriousness of some of the people responding to this post.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 
Aug 25, 2015 - 12:43pm

GSElevator:

16. Bang a (female) intern, and tell the Associates and above about it. If they haven’t ever done it, they sure as hell always wanted to. They’ll respect you for it. And you’ll always be the guy that banged her first, before she ends up marrying that dickhead PMD in Emerging Markets.

So you're saying I should be a lesbian this summer?

I stopped getting angry and these kind of inane, fratboy-wannabe posts a long time ago. Now they just make me kind of sad for the people who are subjected to your 'humor' and self-marketing in real life.

 
Aug 25, 2015 - 12:46pm

In all seriousness..why are people taking this seriously? LOL

Keep it together and you will go far..
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