Being a senior who has a return offer is paradise
I wake up at 11:22. I have three classes. I am skipping every single one and only going to my club meetings. I have no more obligation. Life is good.
I open the WSO app. I read the panicking seniors who didn't get return offers/sophomores who didn't recruit successfully posts. I smirk knowing it means nothing to me anymore.
By noon I’m walking to main campus. I forgot my wallet. Again. The freshman behind me begs to pay for me so I put him in process next year. I feel like a celebrity.
At 12:30 I’m on the 5th floor of the library. I’m not here to study. I’m here to judge the freshmen. One of them opens a WSO and reads IB league table rankings. I was once like them, a simpleton.
At 1:12 I arrive late to a fund pitch meeting. I make no comments. I don’t even know what company they’re pitching or group is pitching. I just vote yes. I don't care anymore, it always is yes now.
At 2 I get coffee with a sophomore who "just wants to learn about recruiting." I tell him to start networking yesterday. I offer no further advice. They thank me like I gave them the keys to the universe.
At 3:42 I open Excel. I alt-tab between Excel and YouTube. I am “working on a personal project.” The file is blank. The performance tab is open just to keep the illusion of the grind going.
At 4:30 I go to a school club career panel I was asked to speak at. I wear a hoodie. They ask how I broke into the industry. I say “just be yourself” and then refuse to elaborate and leave early.
By 6 I'm getting finally starting my class assignments. None of this matters anymore. I am going to make more money than my professors ever will.
At 7 I go out for dinner with all my friends who have return offers. We make plans to go out on weekends when we get to New York. We all know we're never hearing from each other when full-time starts.
By 9 I'm on Instagram just doomscrolling, I did not miss out on anything at all. I send them to seniors who don't have return offers to make it look like we're still friends.
By midnight I'm ready to go to sleep. I scroll on LinkedIn for one last good measure. A first year just posted about an externship. I feel nothing. I like it and close the app.
I will do this all again tomorrow. And the day after. I have mastered university.
Being a senior who has a return offer is paradise.
/s
unfortunately relatable.
You haven't "mastered" anything, what you actually "mastered" is getting lucky in a superday with basic memorization/arithmetic 2 winters ago. Unless you're still clocking in a 4.0 gpa, what you're doing is the opposite of alpha. A real winner is still acing their classes, on top of their life in clubs, athletics, social life, health, etc. even when there's no longer any immediate gratification. While I appreciate what you're saying, recognize that on-cycle HH calls are starting soon and this mindset won't do you any good in the long term.
i fear the poster forgot the /s
you are absolutely right, updated it
💀
.
Nerd, let bro enjoy his last year of being a degenerate and enjoy his offer. Although now is time to start grinding LBO modeling. this post is satire anyway
The work is just getting started…
Does it help with girls?
Only the ones tapped in with recruiting tbh, others are still NPCs living college life. That changes once you start working though and reality of life sets in and they realise Brad from their dorm who said got a job at Evercore, isn't actually a mining company and in actual fact makes 4x their comp.
telling girls im going to work at guggenheim inevitably leads to them asking about the museum
Shoot so while in college it only helps you get sweaty asian girls?
1:12 is so relatable. I don't read the pitch deck anymore I just say "Yes" lmao
wouldn't suggest skipping ur classes every day tbh
Next week - offer gets rescinded do to economic uncertainty
Waaaaay to close to home
How are you in collej and caint spell?
Please continue to work in Real Estate
Just enjoy man. I had such a great senior year.
And then the reality sets in that banking offers are a dime a dozen cushy poor ppl slavery jobs and that real wealth is built owning a company. Then you find a remote job and grind away on making non w2 cash. Or you continue being the guy that thinks paradise posts are funny. which pill, neo?
You must be fun at parties
You mean the parties where you have to whip out your laptop at to respond to comments like a good lil boy?
sadly me as a second-semester Junior
First good “is paradise” post I’ve seen in so long
Kids this is why you go to a big 10 school.
Honestly this is the wrong mentality. I stopped partying my senior year as I knew the modeling tests were coming up. Ended up getting a MF offer from that constant practice.
Yes I lost some friends and maybe some experiences, but it’s worth it in the long run.
This might be fine for your first few years out of college, but it will hurt you in the long run. It's a people business and you clearly lack the social acuity to succeed at the higher rungs.
How did you go about developing social acuity within the most complex realms of finance? I feel like it gets substantially harder to communicate with more senior people when you’re still fresh out of undergrad but know it will pay dividends in the long run.
On the flip side of this, I spent 2 months in my senior year being a complete degenerate on a big trip to south america, and I think getting that out my system helped me lock in once I started working because I felt like I had "had my fun" and could focus on the grind more.
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