I am an analyst at a new york i-bank, taking the subway to work and checking my blackberry.
I saw a chick also taking the train. She was nothing too special.
Until i saw her whip out her blackberry (then realizing she was probs an i banking analyst).
For some reason, she got hotter, more attractive, looked smarter and more sophisticated.
I asked her for her blackberry number and banged her brains out.
(just kidding)
But my bank is about to replace our blackberries with iphones after they pay out bonuses
idk what to do.....how do people know im a bad ass investment banker without a blackberry?
Nametags with company logo on it (obvs from networking events). Make sure to include i-banking group.
Wear your bank's tshirts to Equinox (the nox is key here), complete with your firm's banker bag and branded vest. Also building ID card should be on a clip hanging outside your pocket.
+1 if you wear another bank's tshirts to Equinox.
Goldman tshirt, CS bag, MS hat. Who does this guy think he is?
You must be referring to every Stern student after a recruiting event...
It's important to mention it as often as possible in conversation, especially if none of your possessions clearly indicate your status as a master of the universe. Upon making it clear that you are a god among men, refer to "The Firm" as much as possible to reinforce your greatness.
I know this is a joke, but the joke is fucking old now. You're only dragging on the stereotype that we are all douchebags.
make sure to update your FB profile to include Investment Banker as your current job
done
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