Broke up with Girlfriend
Was working late one night and couldn’t hang out with my girlfriend. She went out clubbing and got super drunk and called me at 3am for me to come pick her up. I was still working with my whole team breathing down my neck asking for updates every 5 min.
She legit lives 2 blocks (5 min walk) from the club and I tried to explain that I wanted to pick her up but couldn’t because of work. She guilted me by saying that I just don’t care enough about her.
She knows very well that I was stressed out of my mind working that night. And I wrong to feel like it was disrespectful of her to even ask in this situation? If I left my desk and went MIA at that time I would have definitely been fired.
Then she broke up with me because of this.
Just looking for some feedback because I feel like I’m being gaslit into think I was being a bad partner.
I totally get where you are coming from - I have had very similar issues, we haven’t broken up yet but most likely will very soon (due to them). IMO you did nothing wrong and she is just not supporting you as she should. I would just accept it and let it go. When entering a relationship in these fields you really have to make sure they are aware of the (they are up to the) “sacrifice” of you not being there all the time and working long hours.
Yeah she tried to understand it but frankly she didn’t have the empathy to really get it. Thing is she works in a semi demanding field too, but only when she was busy, it was a big deal, but couldn’t grasp the concept that others were busy too.
Let me recap:
she lives 2 blocks from the club and called you to pick her spoiled ass up and walk her the 400 meters to her door.
You said no, because your working hard, and she broke up with you.
Congratulations! You're out of Shawshank and dodged a bullet. Go find the next chick, and next time don't get into a committed relationship so quickly FFS.
Correct. Does feel like I dodged a bullet at the end of the day.
A lot of little red flags of entitlement issues I’ve noticed throughout the relationship. She often expected people to go out of their way to do stuff for her.
Dump the bitch. You have enough headache from work, why would you want additional stress from her?
She knows what she's getting into. You have a busy schedule that's it, if she doesn't like it, then leave.
L Girlfriend
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She doesn’t have capability of walking 400m or calling an Uber herself?
You would be fired for leaving your desk for a little bit at 3am on a Friday during a slow period in the markets? Ok lol.
Yes, see comment above. We were working on something that just came up and could potentially kill the deal that’s expected to close the next day. MD, client and everyone was up with me asking for status updates every 5 min.
Was she with friends or by herself? Did you call or text to make sure she made it back safely? If not, that's on you.
Brother she was out getting drunk at the club while you were working — I would bet my left nut she was cheating on you, and most likely consistently for a while. In fact, the odds she wasn’t cheating are infinitesimal. Use the pain to motivate you and realize that this is a net positive event.
There is no evidence she is cheating. If she were cheating, she likely would have not called him and she would have gone home with another guy.
Not sure what fantasy world you’re living in, but this is par for the course cheating. In fact, I would really not be surprised if she was cheating then fabricated the entire argument in order to have an excuse to break up with a clean break which offsets the responsibility onto the author rather than come clean and bear the brunt of the guilt — much more of a logical explanation than the nonsense she said about needing to be walked 2 blocks home. I’ve certainly been experienced in the dating world, and these patterns and being able to read between the lines comes naturally after a while to where things like this become obvious. No girl going to the club without you at 3am is really that serious about you. To the author of the thread, don’t be sad, you are in a net positive here.
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