Can IB Analysts Have Girlfriends?

Curious to know how many analysts are able to maintain a relationship, and if it's even possible for a relationship to survive 2 years of banking. Can anyone provide any insight on this, whether it be anecdotal or statistical? How many people attempt this and fail?

 

Do people in IB naturally gravitate towards finance chicks or is it the complete opposite? Wouldn't it make sense to have someone to relate to when you are getting an email at 3:45 am that says plz fix tks

 

I've honestly found these relationships work out better with people in your industry. At least helps them understand why your job is your main priority, and they also have as little free time as you do.

 

Yup, just need to make time for it. My girlfriend and I have been together for over 3 years and live together so it makes it a bit easier. She had a parent who worked in the industry for 30+ years so she understands the hours. My bank has a once a month protected weekend policy too, so I usually try setting up time for us to spend the weekend together during my protected. Lastly, Friday nights I'm usually out by 8pm, so it's easy to do an 8:30 dinner date with her.

Downside is I usually get home after she's asleep M-Th, but we're able to get breakfast together Sat/Sun and sometimes go out Saturday night. Big change from college where I saw her every day, but you make it work. It's definitely made me much more efficient with how I allocate my time, even more so than I have as an analyst.

 

Out of 15 analysts in my group, only two are in relationships and they live with their significant others. One guy had been dating a girl for 3 years (since sophomore year in college) and she broke up with him within 6 months of him starting the job due to not being able to see him more than at most once a week... I think to make it work with a long-term gf/bf, you gotta live together

 

A girlfriend? I wish but too bad for myself, I am pretty much married to the markets 9:30 to 4:00.

"It's okay, I'll see you on the other side"
 

It really depends on your group - some MD's allow it while others won't. Best to clarify this before joining the group so there's no misunderstanding

 
Most Helpful

I notice quite a few posts from young guys on this board who are concerned about relationships while working at an investment bank. The short answer I'd say to this is that if you want to succeed in your IB career, just forget about it. Your presence and quality time is important to women, and unless she's very unusual, your girlfriend is going to get frustrated with your work schedule. I know several guys in banking and equity research who even got married and divorced, with conflicts over work hours being a major reason. At some point, you will have to choose between her, or your job.

When I worked in sell side equity research back around 2008, I had a girlfriend whom I met in my last semester of college and we did a long distance relationship for a while. That was really important to me and at the time was my primary source of enjoyment outside of work. It did take a toll on my job. Staying up late every night talking to her on the phone only left me with about 4 hours of sleep every night, and I was just coming into the office destroyed on some mornings. It was hard on my health - I looked like hell at the end of the day. There's a price to pay for trying to have the best of both worlds.

When the financial crisis hit, I went through an existential crisis about what I really wanted out of life and ended up choosing my girlfriend over Wall Street work. Now we're still married, but I no longer work in that field.

 

Other anecdote:

Hello guys, currently a woman in very demanding IB group at top firm. Been with my boyfriend for c. 3 years. Works well because we are both in the same sector + live together since our graduation. Hours are tough and sometimes it can be frustrating that when you finish early the other does not but in general you’re so tired you don’t mind just going to bed. Similarly this WSO gives us time to do our own stuff or practice our hobbies. Overall, we are taking every opportunity to go on a date night (pens down on Fridays), find something special to do on Saturdays (protected). As soon as there is a bank holiday we try to go somewhere in Europe for a few days. We also try WFH on Fridays together. Key is being understanding and I think as long as both people in the relationship are ambitious, it shouldn’t get in the way.

Most of my colleagues also are in relationships, some (associates / analysts) are already married and have kids. What’s more is that their significant other, or children, are most of the time in a different country. But they have just built relationship based on trusts and respect for one’s ambitions and goals.

Being single in the workplace can also be kind of nice to meet someone, there are plenty of girls nowadays in IBD that you can meet at the office, or friends of friends. And even if you’re super busy, as long as you based your relationship on good communication and respect, it should be all good.

 

Important update: We're divorced now! 🎉 After my time working at an investment bank, I got a job in the tech industry with decent pay and 9-5 hours. However, I still really enjoy working and spend a lot of time outside of those 9-5 hours sharpening my skills and hustling side income. I just couldn't balance my regular job, side hustle, being a dad, and giving my future exwife the attention she wanted.

The mud slinging in divorce court was the most personally traumatizing life event I've been through so far, but I've made it through unscathed for the most part.

Moral of this story: pick your partner wisely, but also realize that over time people change and you can't control that.

 

Sorry to hear that man. Would you care to expand on how you transitioned from banking to tech?

 

No of course you cannot - it is explicity stated in your offer letter that for the following two years, it is firm policy that analysts are not allowed to pursue relationships with a significant other. If you do decide to take the risk and an MD finds out, if he's feeling generous, he'll just tell the staffer to immediately put you in bottom bucket and to only give you middle market E&P sellsides for the remainder of your analyst program. I wouldn't take my chances.

 

You’re dumb as shit dude. Please let us know which bank is going to be blessed by your talent

 

Thomas Pynchon

No of course you cannot - it is explicity stated in your offer letter that for the following two years, it is firm policy that analysts are not allowed to pursue relationships with a significant other. If you do decide to take the risk and an MD finds out, if he's feeling generous, he'll just tell the staffer to immediately put you in bottom bucket and to only give you middle market E&P sellsides for the remainder of your analyst program. I wouldn't take my chances.

 

Adding a little flavour to the IB commentary above. I’d say it’s possible but extremely hard. Work in AM (RE) and just broke up after 3 years. More recently increased responsabilities + CFA and her going to law school and her own headaches just destroyed any chance of solid relationship - yet alone any emotional time to allocate to one. I’d say, if your somehow pursuing a challenging career at a junior level chances are your relationship will be treading on thin ice.

 
Intern in Investment Banking - Mergers and Acquisitions :
Curious to know how many analysts are able to maintain a relationship, and if it's even possible for a relationship to survive 2 years of banking. Can anyone provide any insight on this, whether it be anecdotal or statistical? How many people attempt this and fail?

Was an IB Analyst with wife, can confirm top bucket rated and promoted to associate

 

Just date a go-getter hustler female. She's not going to have time for you either.... My question is how are you going to work 80 hour weeks and have no "intimate"-life? Sounds remarkably unhealthy. Not that you need a girlfriend, for that...

You'll meet someone who understands you. Good luck.

 

A real relationship? 100%. If it's a young love fling probably not so much.

I have been with the same guy for 3 yrs and he gets that I work late hours etc, and we are at the stage together that he supports my goals and that's that. Most girls should be able to do the same for their partners. When he is in web development school, I will do the same for him. If not it is usually a sign of immaturity of the relationship or the people. Something serious won't end over work life balance unless you've been putting work over family for years.

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Of course you can have a girlfriend, but should you during a time of great emotional distress and lack of scheduling ability? I tried and failed. To each his own though!