Extremely weird co-workers? Stories please

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The guy i know hooked up with a hottie in the same analyst class, different teams. Nothing weird but a crazy story

Worked at a golf club when I was in high school. One guy that worked with me would do blow in the bathroom under the clubhouse. He was in 11th grade, dude would get wired and wash the shit out of some carts.

worked w/a chic once who would literally toss 95% of her lunch every day. super thin too. It was weird enough i commented on it once when I was drunk 

I used to work at a government agency. One guy was notorious for microwaving kielbasa, which is Polish sausage, every morning. Kielbasa is naturally smelly, and when you microwave it the smell is even worse. It was amusing to smell kielbasa in the office every morning, not kidding every morning, and no one caught who it was cause he was so sneaky. Some people joked he ate kielbasa in the office cause his wife did not approve of it.

In one firm I worked at people liked moaning when peeing/pooping. It was really weird to take a dump in a stall and then hear from the stall next to you "ohhhhhhhh"

When I was at a 

WASP-y intern (nepotism hire) chokes another in front of everyone at a company happy hour. Literally everyone sees it and/or has heard the story.

Those who want to protect the WASP-y intern calls the intern's staffer to criticize any thought of not giving him a return offer.

Kid gets return offer, stays on full time. Gets the easiest work, the most credit and praise. Currently works at a BB.

No me but my dad said he worked with this kid for a few years and said he was a super f**king weird but slightly entertaining dude. It was a really lean team, dad was a director at the time and the kid was an analyst then associate promote.

He was a totally white-washed kid from University of Oklahoma who somehow landed an IB job in HK (literally zero language skills). He claimed he grew up in Oklahoma his whole life but couldn't name a single city in Oklahoma. They didn't wanna be a dick or anything so they never looked into his resume. The kid would like to spend his weekends in mainland China and for some reason was getting involved with the Triad mafia. Showed up to work one day with a black eye and bruises all over his body - he didn't want to talk about it but apparently he got beat up by a bunch of mafia dudes lmao. He was also one of those conspiracy dudes who was convinced that the world was going to hell soon so every bonus season he'd put all his money into Gold.

Probs the guy openly watching porn at the office and cranking his shank in the bathroom. Didn’t work with guy but saw a video with the reflection of his monitors looking at some big ole titties. Actually, funny as shit the more I think about it. Heard a very similar story from another bank and was wondering how common this is lol. Also heard about a senior dude habitually jacking it in his office like wtf.

Yeah this one junior hire wouldn't stop trying to make anyone below MD look bad...

I interned at a local investment bank one summer in college and the other intern was a total tool.

He’d walk up behind my cubicle to talk around 10:30 each morning but wouldn’t say hello, he’d just stand there until I noticed him in the glass/my computer screen reflection and turn around in my chair to say hello. He also spilled coffee 3 times on himself or the desk over the course of the summer including once in my desk. Not a ton of spilling I guess but weird that he did it 3 times and no else in the office ever did. Another time he showed up in a new shirt he got for his birthday and the shirt was like that special car paint that changes color slightly depending on the angle of the light. It was actually pretty cool to look at but not at work and not with the fresh creases on it from the packaging still from when he opened it.