I messed up. learn from my mistake

im posting to the ib forum just to cast a wider net.


I am fresh out of school. I had an internship in X industry in finance and although I loved X industry and the job, I was also interested in Y industry and I managed to get a full time offer with the same firm but for Y gig. the job will take me out of the state I have all my friends/family/SO. 

After my internship, I received an opportunity from another bank for the X industry and this was the best of the best bank for this industry, the offer was also $40k more and in my home state. ie. wouldnt have to move anywhere far from my friends/family. So i liked the job, more money, home state, best firm, no brainer right? Wrong, I ended up sticking with the Y job despite all the cons and most importantly making less $. reasoning? I am fresh out of school and I wanted to explore more jobs try new things and I wanted to stay loyal to the company that even allowed me to go from X to Y ie they took a chance on me etc..


Although it is a valid argument, the $40k would have literally made night/day difference to my family as we are very low income and seeing my mom struggle everyday is not easy. but I didnt think of that at the time.


fast forward to today, im about to start the job in the coming weeks and absolutely devastated. after months of just being home between the graduation and start date. ive come to realize that at the end of the day any job in finance is just a job so maximize your income, if the job is remotely interesting to you and pays more than the other, take that one. truth is anyone can be layed off at any moment and thats why you should just be loyal to your income and not where you are working/your company. and lastly, I should have valued where I live more than the job I would be doing etc. for reasons mentioned above. fuck all the prestige and shit. just see who pays you the most where you want to live and if the job is tolerable for 50/60 hours a week. that shouldve been my criteria for making decisions.


just writing this because I saw someone a while back debating something like this and I wanted to share my thoughts if theres anyone thats in the same shoes


sorry for yapping for long and I would appreciate advice if yall have any to share. ignore anon title im not in accounting lol

 

Thanks for sharing this, I agree with you. Did a similar thing a while ago, loyalty to the firm is not worth shit

 

Without revealing too much, I just started the job some weeks ago. Its a well-respected bank, but I’ve honestly lost my motivation (already as a first year analyst) and am worried that all doors have been shut (the offer I rejected was on the buyside and to be fair even my ”dream firm”). Still dont fully understand why I took this route, but it all came down to loyalty, being afraid of ruining my relationship with the bank, location, and family. The decision I made sounds almost absurd, and I’m sure that many people here wouldnt believe me, so I won’t get into any more details on that. Interestingly, my ”favorite” people (and a big reason to why i decided to be loyal in the first place) in the team I re-joined were laid off in the last months, which upon learning this almost felt like an extra punishment for taking the wrong choice. In addition, I’m also worried that I will be laid off in the future because of the way this bank is functioning rn … (you can probably guess which bank I’m talking about lol). Honestly man, idk. I’m trylng to think positively and understand that our careers will be long, but it’s hard when the fact is that I’ve made a terrible career choice this early on

 
Most Helpful

Both of you sound like kids that are just having a hard time adjusting to the realities of being an adult. I understand. It is hard, and can be painful. As adults we have to learn to be kind and empathetic to ourselves. We are not perfect. We do not know everything. We have to make choices with consequences and will not always make the right call. And sometimes what appears to be a bad call right now ends up having amazing outcomes, and what appears to be a great call has disastrous outcomes.

My advice to you is do not dwell and do not ruminate. Life is unpredictable and uncontrollable. You make the best decision you can from the information available to you, you learn from those decisions, and you hopefully make better ones as you go along. Furthermore, don’t be quick to think that if you just made a different decision, everything would be perfect. It is impossible to know what would’ve been. 

These are your first jobs. It’s not the end of the world if it’s not perfect. The decision you made on which firm to join out of college will not determine your future. The actions you take now, and the decisions you make moving forward, will determine your future. If you don’t like something in your life, there is only one question, one thought that matters: what are you gonna do about it?

Lastly I leave you with this: what if a best friend came to you with similar thoughts and concerns? Someone you’ve known your entire life. Someone you are rooting for. How would you treat them, how would you speak to them, and what advice would you give them? Think about it, and then please extend that same kindness to yourself. 

 

Understand where you’re coming from. Tough situation here. However, what I will say is try to not dwell on what could have been at firm/industry X, and fully commit to firm Y; for now. In a sense you’re breaking out of your shell by moving to a new city which is always full of new experiences.

Embrace it, and while it looks like you made a wrong decision now, if you have an open mind about your new city in industry Y at firm Y, you will have a much better experience.

Bit of a life lesson here as well: don’t look forward to what’s gonna happen after your new job, because after you get that you’ll look forward to what’s after that one. Live in the moment, work your ass off where you currently are, and things will work out in your favor.

 

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