IB Ruining My Love/Sex Life
Serious post looking for advice
I’m a second year at a BB. I’ll start by saying: Career wise, I’m extremely proud of myself- I was able to score a position at my dream fund, ranked top bucket last year, and am the “go-to” analyst for the live high profile deals in my group. While I feel satisfied with the reputation I’ve made for myself, it without a doubt was a product of being the absolute GRIND for the last 1.5ish years of my life. Totally a proud hardo in that respect
I totally de-emphasized my love life and non-platonic relationships to chicks. Whenever I had free time outside work, it was spent with my support system- my buddies and family. For the former, I totally deemphasized “getting ass” when going out with them and instead prioritized shooting the shit with them / quality time.
Lately, it’s been coming on to me that I’m quite literally deprived of a woman’s touch. Jokes aside, I literally have been going through the driest period of my life and feel like I’m back at all boys boarding school. Also feel like I’m loosing my touch.
Is there even enough hours in the day? How do you guys get game / allocate time for getting into dating, casual or serious? My work schedule is still demanding of all of my time, so feeling a bit lost.
Sincerely,
a very sexually frustrated kid
sounds like you prefer to spend your rare free time with men
you sure this sexual frustration isnt from not going all in on your "real" desires, aka smashing other dudes?
you are self sabotaging your self around girls.. There's a deep seated reasoning behind this and while you might think it's the IB hardo grind, its most likely due to your subconscious desire to be balls deep in another dude
What in the fuck
Man stfu
Come on guys that was pretty funny
I mean can’t people take a joke 😂
Given the fact that he's an IB hardo it is more likely that he wants some bodybuilder working in wealth management to go balls deep in him
Underrated comment🥴😂
If OP is turned off by this comment, it might mean he prefers catching vs pitching (I.e. having other bros balls deep in him)
facts nothing wrong with being a bossy bottom
Either way, if he’s on medication of some sort he can just get a note from his doctor.
Go to strip club
Nah nah nah. Don't go there. Figuratively or literally. Dated one once and wound up getting to know everyone on a real first name basis. Looking back, totally not worth it.
...ok it's been two. Fine, almost three. Not even Pizz would've pulled this stupid string of stunts I'm sure. You don't deserve MS, but that's still not great advice from someone with experience.
what's the point looking at girls if you can't fuck them
strip clubs are just live action porn. Never understood the appeal. Hookers > strippers
Seriously though
-im so sexually frustrated and miss the touch of women
Gets free time and proceeds to exclusively blow off steam with other MEN
Pay a prostitute to get the mojo back
It's important to maintain relationships with friends and family, there's nothing wrong with prioritizing those relationships. Given your schedule, it's unlikely you'll be able to find dates the traditional way, through hobbies or going out to bars/clubs. These activities all require regular commitment and it'll be rude to keep blowing people off due to work. I think online dating and seeking someone who can sympathize with your work schedule is the best bet. There are plenty of online dating options and probably the most time efficient way of finding a date of high quality
sounds like business school is calling your name after 2 years at this “dream fund”
What's the point of all that money in the end?!?
From the moment pizz’s crush sat in his lap on that bus ride, he knew life came down to one single pursuit: ASS
Sounds like you’re actively choosing to go out with friends as opposed to getting some ass. Download tinder
My brother, you quite literally do not need women since you're a top bucket analyst and buyside offer-holder (if that's a word). You are above them now, you have transcended above all sex and genders, you are on your grind, you are a mushroom ( you can reproduce on your own without women)
Get a pet- cat or dog = cuddle problem solved
I don't think it would be very nice to have a dog and in IB. The dog would be cooped up in some small ass apt all day, unless he has a yard or something, which is unlikely in NYC. The best would to be to get two cats or something.
It's time for another A2D short! There's always doggy daycare for the days you don't work remote. My dog goes nuts when I mention taking her there for the day because she loves it so much or when I mention a certain neighbor is coming to pick her up to watch her for the day. For having two cats instead of one? That's how you do it if you go that route. They have each other to play with while you're gone and cats are very low maintenance.
But just remember the old saying, "Dogs look at you and think you're some kind of god. Cats look at you and think they're a god."
Get tinder and set your location near a college town, make it known that you have money and are Patrick Bateman IRL
Stay celibate until becoming MD. Once you reach it, target latinas from abroad in their 20s dreaming about getting the US citizenship.
Make a trip down to Tijuana
go to an escort. ta da, problem solved
Yeah everyone in my analyst class was single basically lmao except for those that had girlfriends before.
One night stands were more common but also a lot of people now use hinge and maybe there’s some way to make that work on the weekend for first dates etc I don’t know I haven’t really used it
At a BB and can't find a single woman that notices/checks you at work? I would maybe go that route instead of the dating apps, honestly.
Step 1: Find the hottest woman at your bank in another department
Step 2: Say hi to her (the hardest part)
Step 3: Ask her to go out sometime (wear a diaper to avoid leakage)
Step 4: Go on the date and woo her (think Andrew Tate misogyny mixed with Kanye racism)
Step 5: When you're leaving the date, throw a stack of money at her (fake money preferred)
Step 6: When you have sex, plant the seed and lock her in for the next 18ish years
Boom, you now have unlimited woman touch for a while. Hopefully, if you make enough money she'll stick around and maybe even pretend to enjoy your company. Good luck brother.
Step 5: Use Monopoly money. Go for the gold.
Step 6: Just be careful, because if she does decide to split you're losing half your stuff, paying alimony and then child support. Not to mention anything else in any kind of prenup or the therapy bills.
Important caution on step 6. I know someone paying child support for one of his kids - his baby momma's car and crib is bigger than his!
Have you considered calling things off with top bucket/hardo life? Look, I know the extra $8k post tax is hard to say no to in exchange for averaging 10 more hours of work per week, and I know the joy and prestige that comes with stating "top" on annual bonus threads. But I've found middle to upper middle bucket banking tends to give you a better WLB. Sure, you lose the privilege of showing to the world that you enjoy getting on your knees for your MD who can't remember your name after 2 years of working together, but you'll have more time to take care of yourself and live a life outside of this job.
Grind your 20s and when you're close to 30 live your life. Dating takes a lot of time and your interests will develop more over your 20s.
Wtf no. This is the worst advice on this forum. You're not guaranteed to live past 30
That's some pretty short term thinking. You'll make it to 30
Some lads are joking but some are just being mean and jealous about what you have achieved from your career. A lot of people might want to trade their romantic relationships to get what you have now.
No need to regret or feel sorry for yourself for not getting sex or girlfriend because of IB job. That’s what every banker signed up. You can get anything but you can’t get everything—-that’s true for almost all of us. As for your challenge, dating is also a number’s game. Just keep meeting people from all channels, you will get there if you want a LT relationship. And dating apps are available for ST.
unless you're a chad/tyrone (6 ft+ and attractive) i would not bother dating
look into getting a sugar baby if you're just average looking at best. relationships dont work anymore for the vast majority of us
Dude why so jaded? I'm not judging, genuinely curious
im in my mid 30s man, do you know how bad the dating market has gotten?
its terrible out there.
another case of "grass is always greener"....
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