IB Ruining My Love/Sex Life

Serious post looking for advice

I'm a second year at a BB. I'll start by saying:  Career wise, I'm extremely proud of myself- I was able to score a position at my dream fund, ranked top bucket last year, and am the "go-to" analyst for the live high profile deals in my group. While I feel satisfied with the reputation I've made for myself, it without a doubt was a product of being the absolute GRIND for the last 1.5ish years of my life. Totally a proud hardo in that respect

I totally de-emphasized my love life and non-platonic relationships to chicks. Whenever I had free time outside work, it was spent with my support system- my buddies and family. For the former, I totally deemphasized "getting ass" when going out with them and instead prioritized shooting the shit with them / quality time. 

Lately, it's been coming on to me that I'm quite literally deprived of a woman's touch. Jokes aside, I literally have been going through the driest period of my life and feel like I'm back at all boys boarding school. Also feel like I'm loosing my touch.

Is there even enough hours in the day? How do you guys get game / allocate time for getting into dating, casual or serious? My work schedule is still demanding of all of my time, so feeling a bit lost.

Sincerely,

a very sexually frustrated kid

Comments (49)

Funniest
  • Associate 1 in IB - Cov
1mo 

sounds like you prefer to spend your rare free time with men

you sure this sexual frustration isnt from not going all in on your "real" desires, aka smashing other dudes?

you are self sabotaging your self around girls..  There's a deep seated reasoning behind this and while you might think it's the IB hardo grind, its most likely due to your subconscious desire to be balls deep in another dude

  • 176
  • 17
Most Helpful
  • Intern in HF - Other
1mo 

Come on guys that was pretty funny

  • 24
  • 1
  • Incoming Analyst in HF - EquityHedge
1mo 

I mean can't people take a joke 😂

  • 3
  • 2
  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
1mo 

Given the fact that he's an IB hardo it is more likely that he wants some bodybuilder working in wealth management to go balls deep in him

  • 11
1mo 
NahFAM69, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Underrated comment🥴😂

Nah
1mo 
Sequoia, what's your opinion? Comment below:

If OP is turned off by this comment, it might mean he prefers catching vs pitching (I.e. having other bros balls deep in him) 

  • 2
  • 1
1mo 
snowshark, what's your opinion? Comment below:

facts nothing wrong with being a bossy bottom

  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
1mo 

Go to strip club

  • 2
1mo 
Mr_Agree_to_Disagree, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Nah nah nah. Don't go there. Figuratively or literally. Dated one once and wound up getting to know everyone on a real first name basis. Looking back, totally not worth it. 

...ok it's been two. Fine, almost three. Not even Pizz would've pulled this stupid string of stunts I'm sure. You don't deserve MS, but that's still not great advice from someone with experience.

The poster formerly known as theAudiophile. Just turned up to 11, like the stereo.
  • 1
  • Associate 1 in IB - Cov
1mo 

Seriously though 

-im so sexually frustrated and miss the touch of women

Gets free time and proceeds to exclusively blow off steam with other MEN

  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
1mo 

Pay a prostitute to get the mojo back

  • 1
1mo 
yogib, what's your opinion? Comment below:

It's important to maintain relationships with friends and family, there's nothing wrong with prioritizing those relationships. Given your schedule, it's unlikely you'll be able to find dates the traditional way, through hobbies or going out to bars/clubs. These activities all require regular commitment and it'll be rude to keep blowing people off due to work. I think online dating and seeking someone who can sympathize with your work schedule is the best bet. There are plenty of online dating options and probably the most time efficient way of finding a date of high quality

1mo 
BrAss_MonKeY, what's your opinion? Comment below:

sounds like business school is calling your name after 2 years at this "dream fund"

1mo 
non target degenerate, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Sounds like you're actively choosing to go out with friends as opposed to getting some ass. Download tinder

1mo 
trying_my_best, what's your opinion? Comment below:

My brother, you quite literally do not need women since you're a top bucket analyst and buyside offer-holder (if that's a word). You are above them now, you have transcended above all sex and genders, you are on your grind, you are a mushroom ( you can reproduce on your own without women)

1mo 
damani0085, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Get a pet- cat or dog = cuddle problem solved 

1mo 
Isaiah_53_5 💎🙌💎🙌💎, what's your opinion? Comment below:
damani0085

Get a pet- cat or dog = cuddle problem solved 

I don't think it would be very nice to have a dog and in IB. The dog would be cooped up in some small ass apt all day, unless he has a yard or something, which is unlikely in NYC. The best would to be to get two cats or something.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

1mo 
Mr_Agree_to_Disagree, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Isaiah_53_5 💎🙌💎🙌💎

damani0085

Get a pet- cat or dog = cuddle problem solved 

I don't think it would be very nice to have a dog and in IB. The dog would be cooped up in some small ass apt all day, unless he has a yard or something, which is unlikely in NYC. The best would to be to get two cats or something.

It's time for another A2D short! There's always doggy daycare for the days you don't work remote. My dog goes nuts when I mention taking her there for the day because she loves it so much or when I mention a certain neighbor is coming to pick her up to watch her for the day. For having two cats instead of one? That's how you do it if you go that route. They have each other to play with while you're gone and cats are very low maintenance.

But just remember the old saying, "Dogs look at you and think you're some kind of god. Cats look at you and think they're a god."

The poster formerly known as theAudiophile. Just turned up to 11, like the stereo.
  • 3
1mo 
mashedpotatoes, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Get tinder and set your location near a college town, make it known that you have money and are Patrick Bateman IRL

  • 1
1mo 
Restless, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Stay celibate until becoming MD. Once you reach it, target latinas from abroad in their 20s dreaming about getting the US citizenship.

  • 6
1mo 
Kouhwaii, what's your opinion? Comment below:

go to an escort. ta da, problem solved

1mo 
joehuntbbc, what's your opinion? Comment below:

At a BB and can't find a single woman that notices/checks you at work? I would maybe go that route instead of the dating apps, honestly.

1mo 
quantmonkey13, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Step 1: Find the hottest woman at your bank in another department

Step 2: Say hi to her (the hardest part)

Step 3: Ask her to go out sometime (wear a diaper to avoid leakage)

Step 4: Go on the date and woo her (think Andrew Tate misogyny mixed with Kanye racism)

Step 5: When you're leaving the date, throw a stack of money at her (fake money preferred)

Step 6: When you have sex, plant the seed and lock her in for the next 18ish years

Boom, you now have unlimited woman touch for a while. Hopefully, if you make enough money she'll stick around and maybe even pretend to enjoy your company. Good luck brother.

  • 9
1mo 
Mr_Agree_to_Disagree, what's your opinion? Comment below:
quantmonkey13

Step 5: When you're leaving the date, throw a stack of money at her (fake money preferred)

Step 6: When you have sex, plant the seed and lock her in for the next 18ish years

Step 5: Use Monopoly money. Go for the gold.

Step 6: Just be careful, because if she does decide to split you're losing half your stuff, paying alimony and then child support. Not to mention anything else in any kind of prenup or the therapy bills.

The poster formerly known as theAudiophile. Just turned up to 11, like the stereo.
1mo 
sjsjsj, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Mr_Agree_to_Disagree

quantmonkey13

Step 5: When you're leaving the date, throw a stack of money at her (fake money preferred)

Step 6: When you have sex, plant the seed and lock her in for the next 18ish years

Step 5: Use Monopoly money. Go for the gold.

Step 6: Just be careful, because if she does decide to split you're losing half your stuff, paying alimony and then child support. Not to mention anything else in any kind of prenup or the therapy bills.

Important caution on step 6. I know someone paying child support for one of his kids - his baby momma's car and crib is bigger than his!

1mo 
BBK1234, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Have you considered calling things off with top bucket/hardo life? Look, I know the extra $8k post tax is hard to say no to in exchange for averaging 10 more hours of work per week, and I know the joy and prestige that comes with stating "top" on annual bonus threads. But I've found middle to upper middle bucket banking tends to give you a better WLB. Sure, you lose the privilege of showing to the world that you enjoy getting on your knees for your MD who can't remember your name after 2 years of working together, but you'll have more time to take care of yourself and live a life outside of this job.

1mo 
Peg Leg, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Grind your 20s and when you're close to 30 live your life. Dating takes a lot of time and your interests will develop more over your 20s.

  • 2
1mo 
tothemoonyyds, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Some lads are joking but some are just being mean and jealous about what you have achieved from your career. A lot of people might want to trade their romantic relationships to get what you have now.

No need to regret or feel sorry for yourself for not getting sex or girlfriend because of IB job. That's what every banker signed up. You can get anything but you can't get everything--that's true for almost all of us. As for your challenge, dating is also a number's game. Just keep meeting people from all channels, you will get there if you want a LT relationship. And dating apps are available for ST.

  • 3
1mo 
watersign, what's your opinion? Comment below:

unless you're a chad/tyrone (6 ft+ and attractive) i would not bother dating 

look into getting a sugar baby if you're just average looking at best. relationships dont work anymore for the vast majority of us 

alpha currency trader wanna-be
  • 1
1mo 
watersign, what's your opinion? Comment below:

im in my mid 30s man, do you know how bad the dating market has gotten?

its terrible out there.

alpha currency trader wanna-be
1mo 
bands_bands_bands, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Veritatis enim saepe veniam laboriosam quod eum quia consequatur. In dicta est quia est et. Sit velit est dignissimos nemo blanditiis.

Expedita aut voluptates iusto quisquam commodi. Dolorem non aliquam est non itaque. Aut sint magnam sed.

Ut doloribus sapiente rerum omnis. Qui unde molestias deleniti recusandae adipisci. Voluptates sed vitae totam quam et. Tenetur recusandae laudantium velit et accusamus qui at. Voluptatem dicta omnis quaerat quia aut.

1mo 
StreetToStreets, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Voluptatem sequi eos harum laboriosam. Voluptatem laboriosam molestias rem consequatur in magni non.

At animi hic amet enim itaque dicta. Porro aut nemo vel voluptatum praesentium ipsum magni. Quia esse ut ad repellat. Quasi facere aperiam nisi eligendi sunt.

Vel beatae consequatur iste fugit consequatur dolores. Ut voluptatem labore quod officiis nisi minima. Voluptatem repellat autem eum consequuntur deserunt. Sapiente voluptas nostrum in velit vitae sunt magni.

Animi quidem nihil eius tempore. Dicta deleniti voluptas maxime nulla architecto deleniti ea. Distinctio illum fugit consequatur incidunt neque quis. Commodi quia voluptatibus error distinctio eos voluptatem.

1mo 
opxp, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Eius placeat veniam sit molestiae. Harum temporibus non id ab soluta. Repellendus voluptas exercitationem voluptatem adipisci velit consequuntur. Ut sed voluptas consequatur ut commodi ut.

Rerum dicta eveniet vel tenetur. Praesentium doloremque qui architecto sint doloremque ipsum odio cupiditate. Nesciunt voluptas ea qui cumque enim voluptatem.

Libero ab dolore ut aut vel mollitia ab quisquam. Nihil ex molestiae itaque vitae dolorum. Et nulla quia officiis neque et unde asperiores dolore.

Start Discussion

Career Advancement Opportunities

May 2023 Investment Banking

  • Lincoln International (▲01) 99.6%
  • Jefferies & Company (▽01) 99.1%
  • William Blair (▲12) 98.7%
  • Financial Technology Partners (▽01) 98.2%
  • Lazard Freres (+ +) 97.8%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

May 2023 Investment Banking

  • William Blair (▲04) 99.5%
  • Lincoln International (▲12) 99.1%
  • Canaccord Genuity (▲18) 98.6%
  • Stephens Inc (▲12) 98.2%
  • Financial Technology Partners (▲05) 97.7%

Professional Growth Opportunities

May 2023 Investment Banking

  • Lincoln International (▲01) 99.5%
  • Financial Technology Partners (▲03) 99.1%
  • Jefferies & Company (▽02) 98.6%
  • Lazard Freres (▲15) 98.2%
  • UBS AG (▲19) 97.7%

Total Avg Compensation

May 2023 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (6) $592
  • Vice President (31) $397
  • Associates (147) $260
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (11) $198
  • 1st Year Analyst (279) $170
  • 2nd Year Analyst (90) $170
  • Intern/Summer Associate (46) $166
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (205) $92