Let's say for instance each of the banks below had to fight a conventional war with each other (no nuclear weapons or government support). They each have 3 years to prepare (acquire vehicles, weapons, bases, ships, territories, satellites, ICBMs, etc).
JP Morgan vs Industrial & Commercial Bank of China vs Barclays and Credit Suisse
Which of the three teams would win?
| +227 | UBS Accused of Favoring H-1B Workers While Cutting U.S.-Born Employees | 55 | 8h |
| +134 | ONLY THESE BANKS OR YOU STRUCK OUT | 35 | 5h |
| +111 | IB Energy Drink Tier List / Ranking | 73 | 21h |
| +91 | PJT M&A Group Selection 2026 | 14 | 1d |
| +59 | Firm Thinks I'm Lying About Offer | 18 | 1d |
| +51 | Feedback for internship first desk at IBD BB - personal fit, "don't be too confident" | 29 | 2d |
| +43 | Indiana University Fraternity Pipelines | 28 | 25m |
| +39 | Stay at Weak Dealflow Team or Lateral? | 12 | 2h |
| +32 | Rogo AI | 12 | 2h |
| +31 | Elite Boutique interview questions | 8 | 5h |
Career Resources
Get instant access to lessons taught by experienced private equity pros and bulge bracket investment bankers including financial statement modeling, DCF, M&A, LBO, Comps and Excel Modeling.
i fucking wish i could go back in time to 3 minutes ago when i didnt read this braindead shitpost
i cracked the fuck up. love it
It took you three minutes to read four sentences?
Maybe he just doesn't like reading
JP Morgan is the US Army
Goldman Sachs is the US Navy
Morgan Stanley is the US Airforce
FT Partners is ISIS
Allen & Co is Al-Qaeda
Nomura is the Imperial Japanese Army
Deutsche Bank is the Waffen-SS
And RBC is the Marines
Nah Fam, I work at RBC and we are not the Marines.
Mounties*
lol FT as ISIS
.
PJT - U.S special ops
Raymond James is really getting shafted here. For all we know their FL Offices are currently doubling as an armory for the US military.
Nobody fights the Swiss. They have all these tunnels in the mountains. It’s impossible to take territory in the mountains…see Afghanistan the “graveyard of empires”. That’s Afghanistan. It’s hardly modern. The Swiss have the best scientists and technology in the world. You would have to be completely out of your mind to invade Switzerland. Especially when they are happy to be your friendly neutral banker. So, CS for the win by never being invaded in the first place.
I do think this is the best answer, but only for the next 10yrs or so, then armies will just have mass produced killer drones.
CS aint even the largest investment bank in Switzerland
Is UBS larger?
DB not a BB got the scrappiest and most dead inside analysts so that’s my vote.
DB is the viet cong confirmed
FT partners-most prestigous EB=/=Best army
The Rothschild army would definitely show up in full armor regalia riding horses
Well Rothschild literally means Red Shield in German.
....which refers to a coat of arms, as them being nobility. Not to military prowess.
Only if you take away the H
Bruh get a gf
How old are you?
^ note he (I assume it was a dude) said armies, so GS can’t be the Navy.
Note: I realize this is moronic, but it’s so moronic it’s kinda fun.
Moelis = Marines
Moelis = Signal corps.
Citi would def lose - they would underpay and acquire cheap artillary, drones, and aircraft. And there would be no morale or team culture between soldiers.
Citi = Putin confirmed
as opposed to acquiring expensive drones whose only purpose is to kamikaze into the enemy?
Motherfucker there’s something about you Citi people
Screen name checks out.
Tobin & Co: Anti-War protestors
Not sure who threw MS, but I laughed.
Rumor has it Tobin is still lurking around to this day.
Evercore and Lazard would just send horde after horde world war z style to win
Yeah, cuz boutiques have the manpower to send horde after horde
-
Adipisci deleniti esse excepturi praesentium voluptas in provident. Iusto qui in molestiae consequatur animi qui. Nihil sunt aliquam maiores officia. Dolores sint explicabo cupiditate in ad rerum. Atque fugiat sit qui officiis. Animi qui accusantium perferendis eaque. Et iste porro voluptatem. Nostrum necessitatibus quaerat est optio.
Quibusdam cumque excepturi necessitatibus. Ea vero est voluptatem facere sint recusandae. Vitae officiis est aut. Perspiciatis est amet voluptas voluptate accusamus itaque.
Sed quia et ea. Earum a eos facere deserunt. Et at qui iste nesciunt. Quod esse eligendi quia. Nostrum iusto dolores ratione architecto. Nam delectus voluptas necessitatibus aspernatur.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...
Assumenda qui et aperiam eveniet. Ut molestias ut natus voluptatem illum. Ut officiis rerum deserunt fugiat soluta asperiores. Rerum omnis praesentium recusandae eaque facere dolor dolorem.
Praesentium consequuntur iste mollitia ea quisquam qui. Dignissimos et labore vitae et quia rem nihil nam. Cum accusantium nostrum provident cumque.